sad

Per KGW Portland:

PORTLAND -- Local weather records have fallen like the rain this spring.

Over the weekend, Portland broke the record for latest date to reach 60 degrees. Before this year, March 27 was the latest into the year before reaching the 60-degree point. That record fell Sunday and KGW Meteorologist Nick Allard said Portland wasn't likely to finally break 60 degrees until Wednesday.

With Tuesday morning's rain, Portland has now also had 28 days of measurable rain during March, breaking the old record for 27 days of rain in March.

By late Tuesday, March 2011 had also earned the distinction of being the fifth-rainiest on record, with 6.23 inches recorded at PDX Airport and more on the way.

KGW Chief Meteorologist Matt Zaffino said Portland had a good shot to finish fourth-wettest in history. In 1989, 6.73 inches of rain fell in the city. Portland's wettest March had 7.52 inches of rainfall back in 1957.

I know I rail against the weather here. I am also sure that I would, and did, complain that our summers in Florida were a miserable mixture of high humidity and high heat, but even Portland weather apologists have to be getting sick of this month.

To the Creek tomorrow to see how EPIC works. Just in the nick of time too. More to come as always. Stay dry if you can.

Snowboarding is difficult

I am in complete and total denial that yet another weekend has almost come to a close. It was at least a full one.

Spent Friday night at the Blazer game and I can honestly say that I have never seen such an exciting ending, certainly not live. A turnover by San Antonio and a game winning basket by the Blazers in the last 0.9 seconds. I have tremendous doubts that the team will survive past the opening round of the playoffs yet again, but at least they are fun to watch. The ride home on the max with the drunken revelers was less fun, though also entertaining in its own way. Note to self and others: do not pick a fight on packed Max car with someone who will literally be standing within 6" of your personal space for the next 10-15 minutes at least. I was glad I was not on that max car.

Saturday was work. Epic. I am very rapidly losing interest in the entire process, though I know that it will ultimately make me more marketable as more and more systems switch to it for electronic charting. That said, I have spent no less than 12 hours in classes at Conway, another few in classes at our campus, a handful of hours in meetings related to its impact in the clinic, and I have 6-8 more this week. On the good side, I finished up early and was home napping by 1. Any Saturday (or any day really) with a nap in it is a good day! Followed that up with a birthday gathering for Joe.

Sunday was tumbling down the side of a snow covered mountain at high speeds with a polished piece of wood strapped to both feet............or, snowboarding. I have to say, I am more and more coming to realize that perhaps snow and I only agreeably mix on flat or relatively flat surfaces. If an incline of any sort need be introduced into the relationship, I need to ensure I am on something large, inflatable, and almost impossible to fall out of. I can't say I hated snowboarding, but I can say I will remember it with every ache over the next week. I think, much like skiing, there is an exhilarating freedom once you get moving forward at speed, but that is strongly undercut by the terrifying realization that, somehow, you have to stop and that, due to a rather novice understanding of how to do so combined with a staggering lack of grace and coordination, the only way to accomplish that is by using less aerodynamic portions of your body to loosely 'anchor' yourself to the surface of the mountain. For a split second you think this might prove effective and, if not graceful, at least effective and injury free. But then, shockingly, you remember that you have tethered yourself to the aforementioned snowboard and grace will be the last word used to describe the arms akimbo ragdoll you fully resemble. Suffice to say I did this a lot.

I hope everyone else survived their respective weekend adventures. As for me, it is time for a beer to salve the pain, which is a cure as good as any I know.

Happy anniversary?

So, I logged into the time call system at work the other day (the 23rd to be exact) and the automated voice on the other side reminded me it was my two year anniversary at the hospital. Has it really been that long? I mean, honestly, it hardly seems possible. Of course, bets are being taken now to see whether I make it through to year 3.

I have been wanting to blog more frequently, but of late there has been a confluence of events including a protracted though not necessarily severe cold, an absolute assault on my allergies, too many long after work meetings with our financial adviser and trying desperately to get started on some sort of exercise regimen in spite of the aforementioned ailments. This along with my job's seeming inability to get and maintain adequate staffing levels. I worked last Sunday, and am off today (Friday) because I work tomorrow. Of course, they called to see if I could work today too (which, including tomorrow would have been 7 consecutive days of work), but I just don't have it in me. I like what I do, but I think I will burn out quickly if things don't change. There is so much pressure to never miss an hour or a day or, god forbid, need assistance with anything. I have to balance between having too few patients (which makes me the go-to backup for the in hospital chaos) or too many (which means I might need a second person......and there is no second person to be had). I am trying not to get frustrated, but of course I do. All I know is that it never does seem to stabilize in health care. That is the one constant.

So, sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice to go back to school and pursue nursing. Financially, absolutely (well, after another year anyway, and then I will be on the positive side of that ledger). Emotionally/mentally.........hard to say. Mostly yes though. Its just that the tough days are so much tougher when they come because the stakes are a lot higher.

There is so much more I want to write about, but I feel utterly scattered. Our adviser meetings have been so odd. The summation is this: the more you make, the less you take home now. Everything is put into different pots per our adviser, but I think of them more as time capsules. You stick your money in now, bury it, and dig it back up when you are 50 or 60 or 70. Only the system itself is predicated on continued earnings and no life-changing events such as having children, buying another home, or losing said jobs and finding lesser paying ones. Of course, the thought then is you re-evaluate from there. In the meantime, do we stash what we can or do we kind of enjoy the moment in time when we can (or theoretically should be able to) enjoy ourselves a bit?

Well, speaking of living in the moment, I really ought to catch up on all the household things that have fallen by the wayside while I have a few hours. More to come as always.

home sick

Today the fortuitous and calamitous intersected and I stayed home. I ended up not having any clinic patients scheduled and felt absolutely drug out by a cold, though I would have found a way to go in if I had a patient scheduled, largely because there is no one to run the clinic if I am gone. I don't mean that no one can (though largely that is true), but rather that they just don't have the warm bodies at the moment. One RN put in her notice, another took a personal leave. The on call staff is largely already portioned out to outlying hospitals due to other regular staff moving on or moving out. So, whereas there are supposed to be at least 4 RNs plus a charge on (and generally 5), it is not uncommon to have just 2 total lately. I help when I can, but only if I don't have patients of my own.

For me, it is frustrating because, if I need assistance of any kind, it ain't coming. Also, I turn quite a few patients away since I can only handle so much on my own, and within the bounds of my licensure. Still, given the choice, I would rather that then the chaos that must be routine now on the floor. Ah well.

Met with our financial adviser the other evening. It was interesting to be sure. Not really so much about investments and the like and more about rather abstract questions such as: What would you do if you knew you were going to die in five years? What would you do if you didn't need money? Not surprisingly, quitting working was top of the list :) A little more surprising was the lack of anything tangible from Tia or I. No homes or nicer cars or the like. Mostly just being able to be master of our own clocks and be able to live somewhere warm in the winter. That pretty much covers the biggest pieces (other than increased volunteering). Hopefully our adviser will be able to tell us how to get there.

More to come as events warrant. My head is too full of cold meds to formulate much more at the moment.

Mexico!

I have been wanting to write about Mexico since I got back. But,
what I am increasingly learning, you really need a day to recuperate
after your vacation. I think that that is predominantly due to
travel. We spent the entirety of our last day getting up far earlier
than we had the entire week (and staying up just as late as one does
on vacation) and then waiting in lines to get off the boat, lines to
get our luggage, lines at customs, lines at the airport and then a few
hours waiting at the airport and a few more on the plane. By the time
we stepped foot across our threshold, we had been up and in the
process of 'travelling home' for 10 hours, only about a quarter of
which was spent on a plane. Suffice to say, it isnt like we did a
whole lot of unpacking when we got home. Even our feeble attempt to
get milk ran into delays as our car battery died after sitting idle
for better than a week requiring a call and wait for someone to come
and jump start it (hard to do yourself without a second car).

So, on to the actual cruise. As with anything, it had its roses and
its thorns. I think we have kind of hit a wall with the large ship
cruises, reminiscent of the wall we hit in Bend. As much as we liked
the B&B there and the town itself, there comes a point when you feel
like you have 'been there, done that' and the shine kind of comes off
it. We had a good time, but the shine is definitely gone (though
sometimes it just means a break is in order).

Food
Rose:
- As usual, the food. People review cruise food rather harshly for
what it is........which is better than pretty much anything you make
at home or, by and large, what you might find dining out in moderately
priced establishments. I never fail to be impressed by the array of
choices, the speed of service, and the efficiency of the entire
operation. It is impressive to say the least and the food on the
Carnival ship was as good as any.
Thorn:
- Cannot explain why they had so many interesting choices on the Lido
for lunch, and then shut 75% of it down for dinner. Even the grill,
which was promised to be open, never was at dinner. So, for lunch you
could do sit down dining, or choose from 4 different buffet lines, a
buffet dessert line, or a grill plus ice cream and pizza. For dinner,
one buffet and one sit down option. Odd.

Boat:
Rose:
- The balcony room, although not as well used as it might have been
had we encountered warmer temps, was really well appointed and the
amount of natural light and sea sounds were really nice. We even got
to see a whale breach less than 200 feet from our balcony. The ship
itself looked in excellent condition and relatively new considering it
is an 'older' ship.
Thorn:
- It had the weakest library I have ever seen. One shelf of books
total. Mostly it was for internet usage (which at $0.75/minute is
quite dear). Also, no real quiet spots to read outside of your room.
It was definitely not geared for any kind of peaceful relaxation. It
was definitely a drinking boat. Also, the lido area was not arranged
well for traffic and created a lot bottlenecks around each buffet line
and could have used more seating as well.

Ports:
Roses:
- La Paz, despite its distance from where the boat actually docked,
was a gem. It was clearly not ready to be a port city, which was
quite pleasant. No one hounding you at endless stalls and lots of
quiet beachfront. Was more or less what I hoped to find in Mexico,
though did not find all that much.
- The food in Cabo. We purposely avoided the tourist spots with
their high process and buckets of beer and instead found 2 different
local taco stands that both had incredible food. We were able to stuff
ourselves and have beverages and still pay less than $10 total.
Smoked swordfish tacos in Cabo were the highlight for me. Fresh
caught and smoked that morning. The best thing I ate all week.

Miscellaneous:
Roses:
- The staff. From our steward who called us by name from day 1 to an
entertaining and pleasant wait staff, I had no complaints with parting
with gratuities.
- The comedians were, although uneven, altogether above average.
Plus, they rotated them so you had the opportunity to see 4 total with
varied shows.
- The atrium. Gaudy yes, but eye catching to be sure.

Thorns:
- The waiting........the constant waiting at every port. We tendered
into Cabo (which meant lines of nearly 45 minutes to get off the boat
and better than that to get back on it), parked on the outskirts of La
Paz (25 minutes to town by bus and nothing in between) which meant
waits of more than an hour to get back and just as long to leave the
ship, and even in Puerta Vallarta, the port was in the middle of a
compound with no clear way out to the city proper other than by taking
a $10 taxi ride. Plus a wait of 2 hours to get on the boat itself due
to some difficulties r/t a Coast Guard inspection.
- The activities on the boat were sorely lacking. Endless trivia
seemed to be about all they could come up with.
- The Oscars. They were shown on the boat with live voting, but for
reasons that escape me, they felt they needed to telecast them at
maximum ear splitting volume. Left before a the red-carpet was rolled
up and the bloated self-congratulatory speeches began.
- On board movies. Generally cruise ships have a nice array of films
either just out on DVD or second run. This ship has a mishmash of
older films (5-10 years old, not classics) and recent box office
bombs......and only a small number to boot. Plus no onboard theater
which was a bummer.
- Gym. Generally a high point on most boats. Not this one. Very
little equipment and not very updated at that. Plus, always at least
1 or 2 of their limited cardio machines out of order (which wouldnt be
a big deal, but the jogging track, such as it was, was blocked off by
ping pong tables and sunbathers). Bad bad bad.

Overall, I would not do a Carnival boat again. I think it just misses
on too many counts and it isn't that much less expensive for the
trade-offs. Still a vacation beats the heck out of work, even if it
is slightly less than you had hoped.

snowmageddon! (randomness)

- No matter where you live people seem to be overly enamored with weather hyperbole. Every far flung forecast is prognosticated with the highest of high tech gadgetry and yet has the same accuracy as divination by throwing chicken bones or having your palm read. I am already getting emails at work warning of the upcoming snowpocalypse with somewhere between 3-5" possible (though not probable) coming our way this Thursday/Friday.......or perhaps 3-5 feet..............or likely nothing at all. Anyway, please freak out accordingly!

- Spent the entirety of the weekend without allergy medication because I was seeing the allergist on Monday for some possible testing. Only to find out today that we weren't going to be doing any such testing. Both because I didn't react all that well to it and because we would wait until late summer to start that sort of thing anyway. While I appreciated his candor and it was a valid discussion (allergy shots evidently only work about 3/4 of the time anyway.....a nugget I never heard in all my time working with an allergist), it would have been a valid discussion to have before the appointment too. I am now 100% certain that i am not taking antihistamines just because I think it makes me look cool. Evidently they do something. Now excuse me while I scratch my eyes out.

- Speaking of eye gouging, we have free HBO for 3 months for signing up with Comcast anew. Every once in awhile I consider paying for a cable channel. They have some pretty amazing shows (well, they win awards and all) and it would be a good way to catch up on movies. Then, we stay at a hotel with (insert premium channel here) and I think 'why would I pay good money to watch new releases 6 months after they come out and then be forced to re-watch them ad-nauseum because they rotate them less frequently than car tires. We are currently in a loop of Couples Retreat (which is actually as bad as the previews would have you believe) amongst other dreck. Boo!

- As a side bar: Vince Vaughn has to be on the Mt. Rushmore of actors who repeatedly play themselves and manage to get paid handsomely for it. He is exactly the same guy no matter what movie he is in. Others on the mountain would have to be Matthew Mcconaughey and Adam Sandler and possibly Jennifer Aniston. Kudos! I am sure they are crying over their artistic integrity all the way to the bank.

- Alright, I take back the last Boo! a little bit. I did just watch 500 days of Summer which was well cast, likable, quirky and peppered with interesting little diversions. Had it ended about 5 minutes before the ending which looked like it was tacked on to appease focus groups, I might have even recommended it. But, unfortunately, they used the previous 80+ minutes of good will as little more than kindling before setting the whole thing ablaze. Boo! again.

I was up before the sun today for my non-allergy testing. Sleep time starts now.

Wax on. Wax off. Ouch!

As one of the 'joys' of getting older, I have hair growing in places I don't want it to be, namely my back. Not 'is he wearing a sweater vest' amounts of hair, but enough that I don't like it. So, Tia thought it would be nice, before vacation, to have it forcibly ripped from my body by a sadist.......or, euphemistically, a waxing.

I don't consider myself tough. I do not get into fights. I am not outdoorsy. I don't like guns or other 'tough guy' symbols. I don't, however, consider myself meek either. Just somewhere between the two polarities. That said, I just about started weeping during the defoliation. Many hours later, my back still feels similar to the day after a sunburn. And to think that the waxing place offers a male 'Brazilian'. To imagine the back waxing in an exponentially more sensitive area gives me full body wracking chills. On the plus side, I suppose I am now far less hirsute. On the other hand, I think many many drinks would be required before doing that again. Now I know why they had a bottle of whiskey out in the lobby while you wait. I should have indulged!

More pleasantly, we had massages on Friday night after work. It is Tia's favorite place, Dragontree. I like it too, but I have to say the massages themselves were kind of disappointing this time. Every therapist has his/her own distinct style and it has to jibe with your own to be truly good. I like when it is almost painfully deep tissue. When you feel relaxed and loose after the massage more so than during. I have no preference on man or woman, straight gay or other doing the massage, it is all about the massage itself. That said, typically men will do more deep tissue. This time not so much. It was relaxing, but more about levels of pressure and not so much working out trouble spots. Kind of a bummer, but I don't know what you say in that situation. If they ask about pressure, you can tell them more or less, but this was clearly about style and, well, eh. I like the place enough to go back, but I will ask for someone else. Ah well, far worse ways to spend your Friday night though.

4 more days of work. So close to tropical drinks, oceans you can swim in and no actual schedules to follow!

Once more with dates

As of yesterday, they have finally corrected my payroll information. I know have the correct hours per day, pay rate, and supervisor listed. I also spoke with my supervisor and she is going to work with me on Monday to get reimbursed for the hours of pay I had incorrectly deducted. Additionally, my 'employee advocate' in HR is looking into my situation and, well, I won't hold my breath. But, at least if I fail there, it isn't because I did nothing at all. So, to surmise:

July 3rd, 2010 - Left IV dept and started in traige. Prior to this date, had conversation with former/current supervisor, JT, and agreed to stay on call.

December 15, 2010 - Find out about clinic job, speak with JT and decide to apply.

December 16, 2010 - Interview for job. Offered position that same evening.

December 17, 2010 - Accept position and turn in my 2 week notice.

December 31, 2010 - Employee change request submitted to HR, last day triage.

January 3, 2011 - First day IV clinic.

January 14, 2011 - Find out job not technically mine. Will have to be open to anyone in the department who wants it. If so, I am told I have no recourse.

January 21, 2011 - No one applies. Informed job is mine.........um, after it goes up internally.

January 27, 2011 - Job goes up internally............er, make that supposed to go up. HR neglects to do so.

February 4, 2011 - Job goes up internally. I apply for position as required.

February 11, 2011 - Check my application status. Coded as 'ineligible to transfer'. Contact JT who contacts HR and, lo and behold, call from HR. Position finally mine, well as of.......

February 13, 2011 - Now its official. After 6 weeks of actually working there.

You know the rest if you have been following: no pay increase, no retroactive pay, etc.

Vacation in 1 week. Need it badly. Hello Mexico!

Survey says

If you follow this blog, you are pretty well up to date on the work saga, but as with any good plot, there is a twist at the end. Of course they re-posted the job internally even though they had no intention of filling it with anyone but me (or so I am told anyway.....hard to know what to believe anymore). So, yesterday I was checking my app status and it, shockingly (surprisingly I am still able to be shocked by the level of ineptitude there. I am sure that I will eventually become numb to it) it informed me that I was 'ineligible for transfer'. Of course I flipped out and contacted J who, in turn, contacted HR. Someone there bumped me out because I had only been doing triage for 6 months and you need a year to transfer and, long story short, they finally, as of yesterday afternoon, officially offered me the job. Yeah!

However, just as I thought, I am getting screwed over regarding the past 6 weeks where I have been working but not 'officially' employed. They have been deducting 60mins daily for lunch because I used to get an hour long lunch doing triage, although I am only getting 30mins now (if that). I was out 2 days for the move...............so technically I am due 14 hours that I worked but am not getting paid for. Those will supposedly be fixed (fingers crossed) per J. I am hopeful that she will get that fixed, though certainly not confident. It would mean about $450.

Additionally, I was supposed to get a pay bump of $2.84/hr by going back to inpatient. Multiply that by 240 total hours worked in the 6 weeks, and you have a pretty substantial $680. That evidently will not be paid to me because I wont 'officially' be hired until Sunday and they cannot back pay that (this is per HR, not J). So, I will be back to my inpatient pay rate on Monday, but I can't recoup the money I would have had even though I was doing the job already.

Further, I was supposed to get my annual review next month and whatever increase comes with that. However, again per HR, now that wont be until February of next year because they are saying that I accepted a 'promotion' by going back to inpatient and resuming my former pay rate. I knew I took a pay cut going to do triage, but I never considered it a demotion. It isn't like you have to have any less education or experience to do either job or that they would have hired me with an LPN or something. So, I am also losing out on an entire year's worth of whatever my raise would have been (I am sure not terribly much, but still). So, some major good news mixed with some total BS.

Suffice to say, I will be trying to further contact HR and see if I can get anywhere with my grievance, but I also don't hold much hope that it will be fixed since it will cost the hospital money and that isn't something they are keen on. Frustrating, but finally resolved. The good news is that I had just 1 patient on Friday and I sat and read the paper instead of leaving to get at least some money back :)

Ultimately, there aren't a lot of options out there and I am happy to have a job, but I still have a hard time understanding why some piece of paperwork that didn't get submitted somewhere along the line could cause so much havoc, despite the intentions of my supervisor being very clear. No one, of course, wants to take any responsibility (blame) for it.

Vacation in 2 weeks. Need it ASAP.

Still not hired

Well, I am not officially at least an applicant for my own job, which is a step up (I guess). In theory, tomorrow ought to be the last day it is posted (or possibly Friday) and then I am assuming I might get hired. What a boon it will be! Finally hired to do the job I have been doing and erroneously thought was mine to begin with. Of course until it is official, I won't count on it.

In other news, I haven't moved to a new place since the last post! To some this might be a fairly trite to some, but staying in one place for better than 10 days is cause for celebration, albeit minor. We are fully unpacked and starting to learn the roses and thorns of the place.

Roses:
- Bedroom on a different level than the living room/kitchen. It just feels more spacious.
- The kitchen really is a nice size and it is good having a table again.
- I like not having to wait for the elevator to go up one story.
- No more (at least obvious) mold.

Thorns:
- The wall separating the units is not sound proof enough. Everything seems to filter through.
- Same neighbors big loud barking dog (thankfully not at weird hours or in prolonged bursts)
- We mis-guessed the size of our king bed and the size of the bedroom. A lot of shimmying/crab-walking to get out of the bed

Other than that, it is just like most other places I have lived...........just okay. Will probably be re-evaluating it once the lease nears expiration (god help me).

Speaking of living places, I found out an odd fact about this place...........it was sold in separate units, and for a lot more than I thought. Each unit, per Zillow, is roughly equivalent in size at about 1000 sq feet. Each unit also sold for better than $200K. All together, it is about a $700K property. I am honestly incredulous. If this was the Price is Right, I would have seriously underbid and lost the showcase showdown. I will NEVER understand property values here. If pressed I would have guessed maybe $450K for the whole thing. Exactly why it is incredibly unlikely I would ever buy anything here (again).

Clinic is getting more rote, but continues to mystify in some ways. I still have to turn away patients because I am unable to get the appropriate staffing and, concurrently, I wonder if I should be concerned about it or just accept it and move on. I know I cannot accommodate everyone, for instance I lost one patient because the GS clinic opens at 8 and she needed earlier (we open at 9), but it seems weird that I have to say no to patients because I can't get a second nurse for an hour (you need to have 2 nurses for infusions and the wound nurses I work with leave at 4:30).

It is more or less about clarification of parameters. If I know that they are unlikely to get me help ever and that I just need to use my judgment to determine it, than I will. But I hate playing 'let me call such and so and see if there is any way that I might get help and then call you back' only to have to call back and ostensibly say no or put such weird parameters on my request that I am all but saying no. It is especially frustrating because I know that the clinic is a direct conduit to money for our department. IV starts are not (the money goes to the floor and is part of what you pay for in a lump sum under your hospital stay). So, logically, you would think you would divert help to where the revenue is. Again, for my part, I just want to know that it is okay to tell people to go elsewhere and not think/believe that this is going to bite me in the ass down the road.

Back to dreaming about vacation. Just about 2 weeks to go.

on the move

I have been trying to find the time and the energy to post about the move, but have been either too occupied or too exhausted to manage it. As I type this, it is debatable how far I will get before giving up and picking it up another day.

Well, the move was like many (or any) other moves we have made. On the plus side, the movers were as good as advertised (Willamette Valley Moving). They were quick, professional, and efficient. They had us out of the apartment and into the, er, townhome, in under 5 hours. Not too shabby considering the incredible about of narrow stairs. The clean up process on the other side also went very well and we will be getting our full deposit back (which is good because there was a LOT of mold under the couch and in the windowsills.........we probably should have had them pay to move us). Plus, Tia's mom Diane was there to help unpack, etc which was a huge help on an already stressful day.

The minus side...........well, lets just say the previous residents did not do us any favors. I spent all of Tuesday cleaning (mostly just the kitchen) which involved removing a thick layer of filth from inside and on top of the stove and sticky grease just about everywhere else. It rather disgusts me that they opted to live like that in the first place. The previous owners were supposed to be out on Sunday night and the place was supposed to be empty by Sunday afternoon.............but that did not really happen. Ended up bumping the cleaners to Monday morning and our movers were there by Monday at noon. Hence, not a lot of cleaning was done.

Also, we failed in our attempt to get away from cable and into satellite TV. Direct TV showed up to install and then, once they determined we were renting wanted to get signed permission from our property owner (something that they should have asked for when we signed up if that was necessary) and would not accept a verbal. This despite there already being a dish up for a neighbor. Anyway, the tech evidently called in to his supervisor and then they called me to find out if they 'wanted us to reschedule' at which point I said 'you can effing pack up and go. we will be taking our business elsewhere' and hung up. So, back to cable and certainly cross Direct TV off my list of options in the future.

Other than that, we are inching closer to what we want the place to be. Of course it is a little smaller than we thought initially and things are a little tighter, but it will eventually be organized and more livable than at present.

One interesting work aside: Lisa came to help me in the clinic today (We used to work together at the Park and she is now working on call only. She is an outstanding clinician though, knows the minutia of the minutia. I am eminently more qualified to work the clinic than a lot of my peers, but among the few in my department who have done so longer and would do so better would assuredly include Lisa. Honestly, if she had applied for my position, I think she would have gotten it hands down but, thankfully, she has no interest in doing so). Anyway, it is amazing how much more productive 2 nurses can be. I can still hope that might end up being the case eventually, though I won't hold my breath (which incidentally I often have to do working in a small office with wound care..........it honestly smells like burning tires and excrement when they work with some of their patients). Lisa was telling me that KB (a former supervisor who is probably the most knowledgeable about the clinic of anyone in our department) told her yesterday that she 'didn't feel comfortable' working in the clinic by herself. What the eff?!?! How in the world should anyone else 'feel comfortable' doing so if not her? I am so much happier than I was doing triage, but it is becoming more and more evident that it isn't exactly a coveted spot.

Ah well. Time for bed.

The Situation (no relation to Jersey Shore)

We have finally arrived at moving weekend. Well, yet another moving weekend. After weeks of living amongst half stuffed boxes and miscellaneous debris, we are finally to a point where EVERYTHING needs to be packed. Though daunting, sometimes it is easier than the stage we have been at, namely trying to pick and choose what is essential and what is not. It is frustrating and unfortunate that we aren't able to move in today or tomorrow and have time on the back side of the weekend to unpack everything on the other side, but such is life. Again, all I hope is that we won't be doing this again in 6 months (though that is often subject to change). Cross em with me that these movers are better than the last. Truly it would be hard to be much worse.

My work situation remains maddeningly unresolved. I spoke with JT again on Friday lamenting that my time sheet is still incorrect. Per my time card, I still work as a triage RN, am still getting paid outpatient pay, and am still having an extra 30 minutes deducted every day for lunch. So, at the end of a full month, the tally continues to rise. I try not to fixate on it, because I am told it will be rectified........but then that is by the same person who has been telling me a great many other things, such as the following.

I was told yesterday that nothing has been formalized as yet. The job did pass its time through the department with no one biting, but now it has to be posted internally for anyone in the system to apply to. It was supposed to have been done this week, but someone somewhere neglected to do so (fingers again pointing to HR, but it is hard to know who is at fault), so now it has to wait until next week on Thursday to post (evidently the only day they post new jobs). At that point, I will have to re-apply, which I am being told is a formality. The job will have to stay open the requisite 5 business days. Then, and only then, will the paperwork be put through. So, it will likely be mid to late February before the corrections are made. The upshot is, by that point, I will be owed between $1100-$1500. The downside of course is that I somehow have to trust that that will in fact be fixed correctly............of which I am not holding my breath. To be continued.

On the very good news front: we don't owe anything in taxes this year! We are not getting back very much, but after paying better than $2K last year, it is a huge relief.

Back to packing. Less than 2 days to go.

Big good, little bad

The news is officially good regarding work.......no one applied! Now they have to post it internally, but that is a formality (or at least I am told, we all know that isn't exactly iron clad) and then they will retroactively fix my pay, etc. So, big time good news on the job front! Got the call on my way to HH with some good friends, which made it a wonderful night to celebrate as well.

On the other side of the coin, Tia is sick and I am teetering on the brink of the same. At least that is temporary, whereas the job situation would have been a mess. It is unfortunate because it was actually sunny today. Hopefully better spirits and similar weather tomorrow.

irrelephant

Yep, the title of the post was just so I could put that image up.

Mini-misadventure of the day:

As part of my new (possibly temporary) role, I am supposed to be managing all the supplies in the clinic, from IV start kits to patient foodstuffs. Today we ran out of cups. The adventure is trying to figure out where one would order them. Looked at the food services order sheet, which listed bowls, flatware, napkins, plates, and assorted food and beverage items, though mysteriously no cups. So, I tried to order cups, thinking it an oversight. Alas, those are evidently under the purview of materials services, which supplies us with things like saline bags, needles, and IV tubing. I cannot figure the system out. It is akin to shopping for motor oil in the bread aisle. Whatever.

No news on the job front. Spent a good hour on the phone calling payroll because my paycheck is a mess (they shorted me about $375 between the hours I was not getting paid for and the difference in pay rates that have not been corrected). They referred me to the payroll guru, who of course was not there. She called me back about an hour later and suggested I call HR or contact my manager. I contacted my manager stating that the paperwork did not make it down and asked her to resend it. She did not get back to me, so I called HR to try to get some answers about, well, everything. After some running around there, they told me that another form needed to be filled out, but they could not tell me anything about my job. They suggested I contact my manager. I tried again, no answer. So, in essence, I have a lot of fingers pointing to my manager and my manager pointing fingers back at other people. It is frustrating to say the least and, of course, I am no closer to an answer about anything.

One more day and then..............well, who the hell knows. I just want to kick something!

Terrible Tuesday

Well, terrible is probably skewing a bit on the side of hyperbolic, but I have been under a lot of 'will I have a job or won't I' stress for the past 5 days so any event takes on a certain downbeat cast. So, today just seemed kind of long and dragged out...........so did yesterday really. Lots of patients, little help, and a general feeling of mental fatigue as, being new with little in the way of orientation, everything is more arduous than it should be. Just figuring out how to order file folders entailed 4 separate conversations. And most everything is like that..........me running around trying to find answers to seemingly simple questions and really not having anyone readily available to answer them. Only, I lack the time now to look very hard because I am busy with patients.

Today I encountered a prime example of the double edged sword of autonomy (not to be confused with the sword of Damocles hanging over my head at the moment). I had an elderly patient who could not have weighed more than 80 pounds soaking wet, who was so cold she was wearing 3 lays of clothes under a parka with skiing gloves on (it was 45 today which is cold, but not THAT cold). Suffice to say, she had nary a vein that I could find to draw a lab on. I tried once, called and left a message for assistance and waited. After stalling for 10-15 minutes doing things with some other patients in the clinic, I tried again. 0 for 2. I called again. Another message. I finally decided to just get the blood via a finger stick (which also yielded so little blood I had to milk her finger to get enough to fill the cuvette..........approximately one good drop) and run the test that way, despite the order. I then gave her the medication (which was predicated on the finger stick/lab draw and I heard back from the charge 15 minutes AFTER she left the clinic.........or about 45 minutes from my first call). I was frustrated needless to say (although Tia astutely pointed out that at least I had enough experience and the wherewithal to just make a determination to go another way and get the same result, rather than just sitting on my hands for an hour while the patient waited for something to happen), but that is part of the job. I don't really need a second person all the time, though that would be great, but I do need a second person available most of the time, just in case. Mostly it has worked out well, today it just did not.

Still, way better than doing triage. 2 more days to go until the 5 days my job is posted runs out. So far, no bites (or none that I have heard of). I really need a drink!

Thunderstruck

To borrow a quote from Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation "If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now."

Things seemed to be going pretty well. We found a new place that is nice and cheaper than the place we live in now. We were released, without penalty, from our current lease. We have jobs we like concurrently (a novelty) that come with the added bonus of good incomes. We are, in short, moving in a rather positive direction. Or were anyway.

Yesterday afternoon my supervisor, JT, came to speak to me. She was quite somber and the news was not good. I ran quickly through the preceding 2 weeks in my mind and could not alight upon any indiscretion that would warrant anything disciplinary, unless it was something I had simply neglected to do because of lack of training. Evidently, the news had nothing and everything to do with me, though none of it was within my control.

When I left the IV department, JT and I came to an agreement that I would be an on-call employee and stay active in the department. I was limited to 4 hours a week however, as anything additional would mean OT. So, I only managed to pick up a total of 4 hours on one occasion, though was offered other opportunities that did not work for one reason or another. We stayed in contact and, when the opportunity arose, I applied and was hired back full time just a month ago. It was fairly seamless and, in the interim, I had realized how little I enjoyed doing triage work.

The new job, while sometimes frustrating because of a lack of formalized training and my own desire to have a comprehensive understanding of my responsibilities, has been largely excellent. I really like doing clinic work. I like having autonomy. I like being able to get help when I need it and work alone if I don't. I like the hours and I like the patients. It is exactly the kind of job I imagined when I went through nursing school in the first place. And, it could theoretically evaporate now because of something ridiculously mundane.........paperwork.

Evidently JT communicated with HR when I left that I was to be on call. When I applied back for the position, it was only to be opened to people already within the department, which by virtue of being on-call I was. However, either JT didn't fill out some necessary piece of paperwork of HR did not file something correctly, because as of yesterday they determined that I was not 'within the department' and therefore ineligible for the job. What this means is now the job is to be re-opened in the department and offered back out. I would have no way to apply. If, after the requisite 5 days of posting, no one wants it, then it would open up to anyone, and I could then re-apply and would be given the job (per JT anyway).

However, if someone else wants the job, then I would have 3 options:
1. Go back to triage. They would be obligated to take me back because of the snafu. I could resume my full time gig. I would consider doing a day or 2 a week.........but will not go back full time. I hated how it made me feel at the end of every day and every week. Not worth it.
2. Work on-call in the IV dept. JT promised me pretty much full time hours. I would not have an benefits however and I would also not be working in the clinic much if at all. I would be back to pushing a cart around the hospital. I am not enamored of this idea either, but it is better than option 1.
3. Unemployment/potential litigation. Need to gather more info at this point, but these may be in play. Time will tell.

So, best case scenario right now is that no one, even people with no job currently, want the clinic position. Somehow I am not optimistic. Will be pursuing a meeting with HR next week for further explanation. As always, more to come.

week one and done........er, is done

The week that was, well, was eventful to say the least. At least in my own myopic opinion.

The new job is kind of like a new car........but one they haven't worked all the production kinks out of just yet. It rattles some and the turn signals don't work and every time you turn on the wiper blades the horn blares, but otherwise it drives perfectly fine. Ideally, I would have learned from the woman who left the position, but she already started her new job. In her stead I was supposed to receive tutelage from another tenured employee, but that person's personal life kind of went off the rails, so I was left with a rather hodgepodge and altogether patchy training. Oftentimes I was left with no one at all. Thankfully, by and large, the job is one I had done before. Of course, it has been some time since that was the case. Suffice to say, there were very likely errors with paperwork and a lot of holes that need plugging.

I am hopeful it will be more clear next week and that I will have some training then. If not, I will be much more forceful with ensuring that that in fact happens. I really just want to do an effective job and 'own' the position and it is hard to do that when you don't know where to even start looking for answers. Still, it beats the heck out of wearing a headset and listening to patients talk about their bowel dysfunction and head colds all day. It almost feels like I am stealing money when I have actual honest to god down time during the day.

In more assuredly good news, the housing situation is now largely resolved. We picked the first place and we are good to go for the end of the month. The location is 'up and coming' meaning we get to be actively engaged in gentrification (maybe we will get the above doormat to celebrate). It is ironic that, when we looked up crime statistics on Portland Maps, we found out that where we live now is no better or worse. In all honesty, it is a really nice area with a lot of new restaurants, a Whole Foods just around the bend, and an easy ride pretty much anywhere else we want to be. Plus, the rent will be slightly less than half what we pay here so I can finally buy the two ply toilet paper I have had my eye on. Most amusing to me is that we will be moving from a building erected less than a year ago to one more than a century old and will likely have LESS issues with moisture and mold. Way to go new construction!

Speaking of the above, we did in fact get out of paying a penalty for leaving early, which would have been north of $3K, because of the moisture issues. So, despite our troubles, we actually didn't pay that much for the 6 months we will have resided here. Because of the sign on bonuses and what have you, we only will have paid for 3 of the 6 months (although a pretty penny for the 3 we paid for). I have to say that I could not in good conscience recommend moving to this apartment building, but the management and staff have been nothing less than superb. It is a shame that the product they represent isn't a better one.

Now on to the grim task of packing, ridding, and packing some more. It is a seemingly endless task and I am constantly mystified at how we are able to continue to rid out of boxes we had previously assured ourselves were down to their most vital components the last time we moved. Of course, not having needed to get into them over the last half year is clue enough that they are not all that vital.

Wish us luck. Hopefully we will be done moving for a bit.............but I wouldn't count on it.

Which one?

Tia and I watch a lot of house hunter type shows (they are fairly ubiquitous and, honestly, not a lot of other compelling options present themselves). Anyway, though the locations and budgets vary widely, the end of every episode is exactly the same: 3 options, one of which they have to decide on. The hook is trying to guess which one. In that vein we have chosen three possible rentals, each with pros and cons. Which will we select?

1. A large historic house (built in 1908) that has been divided into 3 properties. 2 townhouse style places and a 'condo' on the lower level. Is only a 1 bedroom vs. 2 at the other locations (although it had 1.5 bathrooms). It 'quirky' but in a usable way with a capacious kitchen and the sole bedroom is an 'L' shape allowing for a sitting area. Also has a huge private deck and a shared backyard (that is cared for by a landscaper) Cons: the place is updated, but definitely not new like the other places, smallest of the 3 @ 950 sq feet, a bit 'quirky' in less usable ways too like the odd angles in the bathroom, no garage. It is the cheapest at $1150/mo and includes internet and w/s/g.

2. A new build townhouse close to my job. All brand spanking new with no prior tenants. The largest of the 3 places at 1300 sq feet with 2 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms. Has a garage to boot. Great storage everywhere. No yard to care for. Good location close to work. Cons: run by a management company which isn't ideal, is nondescript looking, nothing whatsoever to see from the windows except a parking lot. Cost is $1450/month.


3. A 2 bedroom/1 bath bungalow in the Hollywood district. It is about 1200 sq feet with a spacious unfinished basement. All new appliances and it has been completely redone inside. Still being worked on actually. And, it is a stand alone house (no shared walls). Owner is the landlord, which seems preferable to a management company in our experience. Cons: further away from our workplaces (and we only have one car), yard work will be our responsibility, and the price, while cheaper than where we live presently, is the highest @ $1600/mo.

Which should we go for? Which will we go for?

New Year (happiness pending)

We all know that the new year means very little in actuality other than a month of writing the wrong year on pretty much everything and that taxes need to be done. It is only a theoretical demarcation, but notable nonetheless as we celebrate it as it were some turning of the page. Whatever bad juju hounded us the year prior can be cast aside. In some ways, this year will be just that. Or like the rest of the world, I can at least hope that anyway.

I am officially no longer a triage nurse. I can put the experience distinctly in the rear view mirror. It was an odd day to say goodbye to be sure, or perhaps more or less what I considered normal for my time there. Just two nurses on triage as it has so often been, then a mad dash to the finish line over the last 90 minutes or so when everyone collectively realized 'hey, I bet they aren't open on Friday' and proceeded to bombard us with requests. It reminded me of what I liked and did not like about the job in one short burst. However, there is a distinctly different flavor to the experience, any experience, when you know you won't be repeating it. A certain Teflon like feeling that allows even the most irritating of situations glide up and over you. The way I wish I could have felt all the time. Of course, that is hard to do when you know that Monday brings much the same as Friday and on and on. So, it was a fitting finale. Unfortunately, there is no real intermission before the next act.

Speaking of the next act, there is still much uncertainty there. The situation is clear enough, but what remains murky is who is training me and for how long (and, the question I have been endeavoring to avoid thinking of, IF someone has been assigned those tasks whatsoever since I have not heard back regarding my inquiries on the matter). Not much to do but wait and see. Fretting about it will change nothing.

Of course fretting does have its place. I am just saving it for moving (again) by the end of January. We put in our notice and are waiting to hear a response from management, but have already opted to take a hard stance about paying a penalty. We now have verified pictures of mold growth and, as anyone who has dealt with mold knows, what you see is merely a fraction of what exists. Unfortunately when we turned our notice in (going down in unison to discuss the matter), no one was there. So we slip the note under the door along with our rent check and now we wait. I am both anxious to hear and fretting a bit. I will post when I hear.

Which leads us directly into the other half of the moving process, finding the destination. We have thus far had rather poor fortunes, though it has not been a sufficient period of time to call it a streak. We have seen three places in person and written inquiries about 2-3x that many more, until to dismiss them for not meshing with our wants. Some are startlingly small, though they don't note that in there ad (a new one bedroom home with no prior occupants that was built to less than 500 sq ft). Others are poorly maintained, though in the nicest of areas (a place we saw in Ladds Addition that was sadly beaten down). And yet others are confusingly laid out like the place we saw by PSU that had no closets whatsoever and was set up like a reverse loft. Or they are just plain confusing like the place we saw in the Overlook neighborhood which had more doors and rooms than a house 3 times its modest 900 size (meaning each room was also much less capacious than one might hope). The one place we did really like ended up going to people who could move in a bit earlier and did not have pets. The most alarming thing is more that each of these places are swarmed upon. So, we not only have to find a place we like, but find it before anyone else. More to come as the search continues.

Happy New Year!

group therapy

I finally had the pleasure of spending an evening with my fellow triage nurses on Monday at Melt (which has an all night happy hour most of the week) as a kind of goodbye/group bitch session. The evening was both enlightening and comforting, but in no manner does it bode well for the longevity of the staff.

One of my biggest problems with my job (of which there are many) is that there is little actual interaction with my peers. I spend, on the whole of the course of the day, less than 5 minutes of face time with either of them en total. It creates a rather odd work environment, where your colleagues are largely strangers to you. I am not stating that 'work' isn't the dominant priority of time spent in employ, but there has to be some socialization as well. I know a lot of rather arcane information about my pod mates, but did not know until I planned this evening that my co-worker/functional supervisor was a vegetarian. I, in point of fact, could not tell you she has any siblings, her likes in any form of entertainment, where she heralds from, nor her age.

So, it came as somewhat of a major surprise that she is also unhappy with working triage. This is something I only found out after putting in my notice and, instead of a 'sorry to see you go' she responded instead with something to the effect of 'Good for you! I am happy you made it out!' The newest triage nurse (we can call her S and the other one C) said much the same. In our HH meeting I found out that C isnt even sure she wants to be in health care much longer, let alone in triage. She does not sleep well at night. She hates the phone work and finds it as relentless as I do. She wants nothing more than to work part time. S is new to triage and came from a rather haphazard clinic, but she too is already wearing down and also wants to just do the job part time. All mirrored the same complaints I have detailed over the past few months. As enlightening, is that they too were promised something more with the position and were likewise duped by the beguiling story of multiple job duties and working closely with the doctors. Now both are struck with the same disappointment when the job failed to provide any differentiation is task. The term 'groundhog's day' was used by all involved to describe the unerring uniformity of each and every day.

So, while not a heartening overall picture of the profession of triage nurse, it is also nice to know that it isn't 'me' per se, but rather the job itself. Maybe they say misery loves company for that reason alone. It is nice to not think of yourself as a failure. Its the job that is a failure. And that, at least, is something to hang your hat upon.

I wish them the best and everyone in the clinic. I don't think many will last very long.

Tomorrow is my last day!