I am having a hard time processing the fact that better than a week has passed since my departure from Portland. Seems like just yesterday I was going out for farewell meals and piling my earthly possessions into my Subaru. Whether or not a fair amount of time has elapsed, I think enough has passed to recollect about the journey.
What I learned about the country via the interstate (I understand the interstate system doesn't present the best that a state has to offer and making judgments solely upon what lies within a few miles of said road isnt fair, but unlike Fox News, I make no pretense about being 'fair and balanced'):
1. The flyover states having some pretty topography and some ugly ass cities. It almost makes you wish you could fly over them lower and more slowly, but it does not make me wish in any way that I could drive through them again. Compared to the natural beauty that surrounds these little oasis of chain restaurants and faux rustic strip plazas stand out more distinctly than 30lbs would on the Olsen twins. It is truly a shame.
2. There are more 'casinos' than people in Montana and South Dakota. Every offramp advertised them and more than that, they were roundly unimpressive in every single way. Some were scarcely more than tin sheds. We peeked at one in a gas station that amounted to 5 one-armed bandits and a stand where, presumably, you would cash out your winnings. Gambling is a hard thing to do I think: wagering your money against losing odds in the hopes you beat them this time. At least I want to feel like i am getting something out of it even if I lose, like a pleasant environ and free drinks. It would take a lot of free drinks to make these locales palatable. When you take away the appearance, all that is left is you in a dark smoky room pumping quarters into a machine that will likely give you back far less than you put in.
3. There is a HUGE difference between a Motel 6 and a Super 8. To further emphasize this difference I would propose a twofold solution: Motel 6 should rename itself "Motel you get what you pay for you cheap bastard" and Super 8, for the sake of comparison since there is nothing inherently super about it except under this circumstance, should call itself 'Super exponentially better than that other numerically named chain.' The '6' that we stayed in reeked of cigarette smoke (in our non-smoking room), had matresses that had passes their golden era prior to the Carter administration, and had a shower that reminded me unfavorably of the ones I shared with 120 dorm mates in college on a Sunday after they hadnt seen a cleaning staff since a few days prior. Additionally, the shower head was clearly installed when our land was peopled with pygmys or some other height challenged people as I had to contort my body into positions I had heretofore not been aware I was capable of in order to remove my shampoo. Adding to the degree of difficulty, the shower itself was only a few feet square and the showerhead, based on the pressure, was evidently installed to fight fires or pressure clean, not wash human bodies. I am still awaiting some kind of weird rash to appear from sleeping there.
4. Rapid city is my new least favorite city. It has all the charm and beauty of a daytime truck stop hooker. If meth was a city, this might well be it. I found a similar city on my southern trip, Carlsbad, and like that city, this one was wrapped around a landmark (in this case a man-made one, Mt. Rushmore). There were more sketchy hotels, casinos, pawn shops, and check cashing places than restaurants and I have already described our lovely Motel 6 experience there. The oddest thing was a reptile park and a few other odd places. Who would travel to Mt. Rushmore and think, "Gee, i wish there were alligators around here?" Evidently someone.
I think that covers the trip..........or most of it. i wont torture anyone with descriptions of the mundane food, copious collections of insects embedded into my car grill, or bizarrer conversations we came up with to pass the hours. The last day was a blur. 1000 miles and nearly 20 hours of driving. I still dont know how we managed it, but somehow we did. Must have been the thought of that Motel 6.
More when school starts. Financial aid has been promised soon.
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