ERI

ERI probably doesn't mean much to anyone outside of nursing. The acronym has a downright malevolent connotation to those of us trying to get into the nursing profession and out of school however. You see, once you graduate, no matter valedictorian nor bottom scraper, you have to pass the ERI examination to make it 'official' and move on to the next round. Sure, you may have successfully navigated the pratfalls of a long litany of courses over a short span of time, but how much did you retain.....or learn in the first place for that matter? ERI aims to find out.

Based on the preliminary exam, I fall somewhere in the purgatory of scores: not quite high risk, but not quite passing either. The upside (should one be inclined to look from a glass half full perspective) is that I am not alone there. Most of the classmates I have spoken with who are inclined to divulge their results are there as well. How i could manage to make it to this point in the program with a GPA in the 3.6somethings and know as little about what they are testing as I do is beyond me. Most of what I don't know seems to be couched in one of two camps: utterly foreign or only vaguely familiar. In essence, a split between things not taught or not retained. Of course, half that problem relates to the sheer speed of the accelerated program. You can't dwell on anything, or you risk falling woefully behind. Knowledge is gleaned quickly or not at all.

Thankfully for future patients, there was no skimping on the clinical side. There are numerous graduates from our program who are doing quite well. There are also many other such programs around the country. Even if I fell dead in the middle of all students as far as acumen and intelligence, I would likely be a very competent nurse (or at least have the capability of being trained to become one, which is the essence of your first 2 months on the floor). Even in the bottom quartile, just graduating would prove I would be functional at the least. So, there is that.

This all brings me to the next four days of my life. We are all being trained to take this ERI test and pass it when it counts (that would be next Tuesday by the way). The training takes place from 8am until 4:30pm tomorrow through Saturday and will evidently prepare us in a way that the school itself has not. We will be drilled with hundreds of questions (possibly an underestimate on my part) and their explanations. We will learn not just what they are asking, but what they are looking for behind the words. We will sit in uncomfortable chairs in a dimly lit and windowless auditorium for days on end. Pretty much just like every other test prep everywhere else. I can barely restrain my anticipation.

This test, of course, will tell us if we will be good nurses the same way that the SAT will tell you if you will be a successful college student. That is to say, that there is little to no correlation at all. It will, however, inform people that with enough training, we have the capability of passing a standardized test. What that is supposed to ultimately mean evades me. Only the truly jaded would suggest it is just a means to line pockets of policy makers and testing companies while acquiring little information of utility from students. Thank god I am not jaded.

This will all be over soon, then I can begin to worry over the next acronym: NCLEX. I should probably start taking PPIs or other acid reducers prophylactically to stem the ulcers now.

Wish me luck as always. Pretty please.