No ass work

I was reading a book that summed out very succinctly my primary problem with my profession: 'ass work.' Ass work encompasses all manner of fecal matter centered job duties. Ass work, the author posited, was the reason she did not pursue a health care career. Ass work, for me it seems, is the reason I have such troubles finding suitable employ. In my mind, I went to too much school and paid too much money for my education to be doing ass work on a regular basis. It is such a conundrum when seeking hospital employ that I would probably be best served to headline my resume with 22pt boldfaced font: Not interested in any ass work! in order to circumvent any problems should I wish to return to a hospital. If that statement should be at all unclear, I should also sum up any interview with: "So, the pay and benefits sound good, and the hours are acceptable but, I have to know, is any ass work involved?" What I enjoy thus far about my new position beyond the fact that it seems to actually be a job that falls within my range of interests is that the possibility of any ass work is as remote as the possibility of me working overnights on Christmas eve. Very exciting news indeed!