Revolutionary Road

Tia and I watched Revolutionary Road last night and it really made me think about the nature of life in general (perhaps that's why I prefer escapist fare that doesn't make me think at all.....thinking sucks! :) Anyway, the film is about a couple in the 1950s who meet while young and idealistic and then, flash forward about 10 years, they have two kids, a suburban home, and Kate Winslet is a housewife and Leo DiCaprio has a nondescript mid-level job. They are the picture of idyllic suburban life, epitomizing the American dream such as it is. Of course, they always thought of themselves as more than what they have become and are unhappy with their life of abject normality. This isn't a review, so I won't go much further into it....but it is worth a watch for the performances alone. Also, watch it if you want to think (see above for reminder about how much that sucks before you do however).

What this is, is my take on the film and what it made me think about. Tia and I have been going round and round about whether to buy a house or continue renting. We both have jobs that we are happy with, though neither is our dream job (Tia has more definite ideas about her dream job than I however). We have good incomes, drive reasonable cars, and enjoy the little things that life provides in Portland. The question that the film raised in my mind was: Do we have the things we have and want the things we want because we truly want them, or because we are conditioned to want them? I feel we are self-limited by our exposures and socialized to want certain things so I have to wonder if we aspire to the American Dream because it is the only dream we know.

For instance, I like the idea of a house, but hate that it means a 30 year mortgage and endless dollars poured into maintenance. And, owning a house means that there is less money to travel, more time spent doing house related things, and a sense of fixing ourselves into a location for the forseeable future. Its the same general concern I have about having children. There is an overwhelming sense (to me anyway) that gratification should be delayed for the trappings of adulthood (mortgage, children, career). And the further we delve into these trappings, the more remote spontineity and whimsy become because of the inertia created by such things. We end up doing things because of what we have to instead of wanting to, and trying to convince ourselves otherwise. Even the idea of the future is now so wound around whether or not one can afford to retire and concerns about how that will happen, that I find myself having to care about pensions and 403b plans far more than concerning myself with what happens today, this week, or this month.

Of course, I am sure I am considered immature for even having the notion. You tell people you dont want kids, people look at you crosswise and wonder why not (though to ask people who want children why they do causes the same peculiar looks). The same for home ownership. In the film, Kate Winslet has the notion to drop everything, sell the house, and move to Paris just because...........and most people treat the couple like they are certifiably insane. Am I insane for finding the same notion compelling?

This is kind of rambling, but I am in a rambling kind of mood. Now I am off to anesthetize myself through the escapism of an ambling walk and maybe some lighthearted comedy tonight.