The end of October

Sometimes blogging is easy. Sometimes there is so much going on that the only difficulty is finding the right words to describe them without omitting some major plot points along the way. Other times, life rolls along in a series of mostly congruent days that blend together to such an extent that they are hard to distinguish from one another. Did we have the fish on Tuesday or Wednesday? What day was the day the patient showed up maddeningly early......or late.....or not at all? And is any of this even remotely interesting enough to document? Hell, I am getting a little sloe eyed just typing it.

When there is little to talk about, there is always the weather. So far, is hasn't been too gray. The sun has appeared far more than it has not and what rains we have had have largely occurred while I slept. It gives me hope (tenuous) that this winter will prove less downbeat and overcast (though La Nina may have something to say about that.

Of course, I am particularly sensitive to it. It doesn't take many of those days before I start to feel a bone deep sense of, well, I guess it is hard to describe. It isn't so much that I feel it like any other emotion.........but more like it subtracts something from me. It deducts a sense of genial well-being and overall optimism and amplifies that dark part of us all that sees every nick, crack and imperfection. That part of you that knows, without a doubt, that if you wake up with a sense of foreboding about the day (generally arbitrarily) it will be a shitty day. The glass half empty part.

The even keeled amongst us deal successfully with this sort of thing routinely. I generally do as well. Yes, some days are black, some are white, but most are shades of gray and one event rarely color a day in it's entirety. But, when the weather turns gray and damp, the black bleeds over. To fight it this year, the prescription is simple (yet oh so difficult). Must go to the gym and get the endorphins going. Must try to get out even if the weather is practically begging me to lie in bed. Mostly I just must try to do what I can to not let it get to me.

Got my SAD lamp ready. Bring it on.