Between not using my slow (and constantly updating) laptop very often and technical difficulties that have lost at least a few drafts this month, I am striving hard to get a post up before the month, and year, ends.
Is there anything more amazing and simultaneously frustrating as a little? Watching Quinn learning things is incredible. He is now starting to actively mimic adults. He seems to learn at least one new word a day. He is able to follow multi-part instructions (like please go pick up your socks and put them in the dirty bin) and uses some creative thought processes to get what he wants (such as dragging his chair to the high chair to get his snacks). He intuits a lot of things from observing us. He picks up my cell phone and says 'hello' and when he gets a hold of keys, he immediately tries to put them in the door to unlock it. He is learning to share and says both 'please' and 'thank you.'
And yet, he still bumps his head on pretty much everything, including things right in front of him. He shrieks/cries at every minor frustration. He can't seem to not hit our cats. He wants to take every toy another kid is playing with and shrieks/cries when the same happens to him. He pushes boundaries constantly.
But, I know that he is not different from every other little. They make you laugh and cry. Overall, it is a pretty darn special thing to watch........though I would love to excise the shrieking.
As for my depression, things seems to be, at the moment, improving. I think the hike in my meds has helped as has the support from friends and family both. I certainly appreciate it. The counselor was a bust, providing little more than an hour of his ear and absolutely no strategies. I will pursue it further in the coming year. I just need to find ways to deal with things and not let my plate spill over.
One of my major frustrations is my job. I am weary of the lack of support I am accorded and the seemingly endless delays in the clinic being handed over. Honestly, my one hope at this point was that OHSU would do something (anything) soon so that the clinic could actually have some forward momentum. Instead, it remains idling for an indeterminate amount of time (latest target: July 2014). Left with the mandate to 'be open' just in case we are needed and sending people away when we can't see them for lack of staffing is a fine line to walk and risks a huge loss of business over the long term. Even the OHSU people were a bit taken about by the lack of volume in our patients overall. I am left to constantly explain why that is. I feel like a one legged man being asked why I don't win foot races.
Between now and whenever OHSU takes over, I am putting out applications at about one per week. I am not sure if this is a 'grass is greener' mentality, but I am pursuing it nonetheless. What I am largely finding is that where you end up in the nursing profession is more or less predicated on luck. I was fortunate to get a hospital job and fortunate to have been selected to run this clinic so early on in my nursing career, but it has also proven to be limiting. I am not looked in the broader manner that might reward my initiative, self learning, and ability to work independently, but rather in a more acutely focused way that suggests I am an IV nurse period. This is the double edged sword that exists for many of us. Out of school, I could no more get a job in an Operating Room here than I could win a footrace with Usain Bolt for not having any experience. Now I have experience, but not the right kind.
I want to close by wishing everyone a wonderful new year. I won't post my resolutions, lest I have to post how badly I fail to complete them, but they are pretty standard fare. In the meantime, I need to roll back to bed....I am starting the new year with a lingering cold (flu?). I guess some things don't change.
Is there anything more amazing and simultaneously frustrating as a little? Watching Quinn learning things is incredible. He is now starting to actively mimic adults. He seems to learn at least one new word a day. He is able to follow multi-part instructions (like please go pick up your socks and put them in the dirty bin) and uses some creative thought processes to get what he wants (such as dragging his chair to the high chair to get his snacks). He intuits a lot of things from observing us. He picks up my cell phone and says 'hello' and when he gets a hold of keys, he immediately tries to put them in the door to unlock it. He is learning to share and says both 'please' and 'thank you.'
And yet, he still bumps his head on pretty much everything, including things right in front of him. He shrieks/cries at every minor frustration. He can't seem to not hit our cats. He wants to take every toy another kid is playing with and shrieks/cries when the same happens to him. He pushes boundaries constantly.
But, I know that he is not different from every other little. They make you laugh and cry. Overall, it is a pretty darn special thing to watch........though I would love to excise the shrieking.
As for my depression, things seems to be, at the moment, improving. I think the hike in my meds has helped as has the support from friends and family both. I certainly appreciate it. The counselor was a bust, providing little more than an hour of his ear and absolutely no strategies. I will pursue it further in the coming year. I just need to find ways to deal with things and not let my plate spill over.
One of my major frustrations is my job. I am weary of the lack of support I am accorded and the seemingly endless delays in the clinic being handed over. Honestly, my one hope at this point was that OHSU would do something (anything) soon so that the clinic could actually have some forward momentum. Instead, it remains idling for an indeterminate amount of time (latest target: July 2014). Left with the mandate to 'be open' just in case we are needed and sending people away when we can't see them for lack of staffing is a fine line to walk and risks a huge loss of business over the long term. Even the OHSU people were a bit taken about by the lack of volume in our patients overall. I am left to constantly explain why that is. I feel like a one legged man being asked why I don't win foot races.
Between now and whenever OHSU takes over, I am putting out applications at about one per week. I am not sure if this is a 'grass is greener' mentality, but I am pursuing it nonetheless. What I am largely finding is that where you end up in the nursing profession is more or less predicated on luck. I was fortunate to get a hospital job and fortunate to have been selected to run this clinic so early on in my nursing career, but it has also proven to be limiting. I am not looked in the broader manner that might reward my initiative, self learning, and ability to work independently, but rather in a more acutely focused way that suggests I am an IV nurse period. This is the double edged sword that exists for many of us. Out of school, I could no more get a job in an Operating Room here than I could win a footrace with Usain Bolt for not having any experience. Now I have experience, but not the right kind.
I want to close by wishing everyone a wonderful new year. I won't post my resolutions, lest I have to post how badly I fail to complete them, but they are pretty standard fare. In the meantime, I need to roll back to bed....I am starting the new year with a lingering cold (flu?). I guess some things don't change.
No comments:
Post a Comment