All about Q

We were discussing some friends the other night who swore up and down that they would not be like everyone else and only talk about their baby.  Then, of course, they did.  Their excuse was a valid one however; they pretty much did nothing else.  I am using the same excuse for my own myopic focus.  God knows there isn’t much else going on. 

My mom got to come out to see Quinn.  I was really happy she did, because it will be hard to travel between here and Florida often for any of us.  Hopefully that changes and Quinn becomes more, not less, portable.   But at this moment, the thought of putting him on a plane terrifies me because I can only envision him unleashing his spine shivering scream for hours on end (and I should note here that I also HATE flying…..it is so tight and uncomfortable and unpleasant.  Still, it isn’t like you are going to drive instead).  The hope is that we can return the favor at some point this winter when we are climbing the walls trying to get out of the grey gloom.   Time will tell.

We had our first successful outing in awhile last night.  We made it through both a lunch and a dinner without Quinn melting down.  It takes some cajoling and some work, but it is nice to see that it can, Quinn permitting, happen.  As for sleeping at night, it is happening in fits and starts.  Since he goes through many ‘growth spurts’ we don’t (and generally I mean Tia doesn’t) get a whole lot of stretches longer than 2 hours.  It is definitely one of the toughest parts of being a parent.  Dealing with a newborn is hard.  Dealing with work is hard.  Dealing with life is hard.  Dealing with them all on contracted amounts of sleep sometimes feels damn near impossible.  It is a tough balance to strike, and it will be harder still when Tia goes back to work on the 1^st (just a few weeks from now).   Thankfully Tia is an excellent partner and can pick up my slack. 

Work remains a confusing mess.  They finally hired someone to fill my full time position here (after dismissing every attempt I made to work out something).  My understanding is that she was the only one to show up for the second round of interviews.  I have no idea how she will like the gig, but since she is coming from an ER background; I think she will find it tedious and dull.  There are questions being raised if it isn’t just a step back into the system, but at this point they don’t care overmuch, preferring to have someone rather than no one.  I am, of course, a bit out of sorts that they didn’t ask me to take part in the interviews (or at least fashion some questions).  They didn’t ask anyone from the other clinics either.  So, the two people performing the interview have (had?) almost no clinical knowledge and absolutely no clinical experience.  So, the chances they hired the right person seems rather slim.

Of course, even that hasn’t exactly been well planned out.  She is starting on the 24^th and then spending the next 2 weeks training at busier sites before, ostensibly, I will train her here for 2 weeks.  This isn’t a bad idea, since the 2 clinics she will visit will afford her more varied experiences.  However, I officially will not be able to be here full time starting on October 1^st.  This is something that I have made very well known.  In fact, they knew I was going to part time (or wanted to) around Tia’s 4^th or 5^th month and knew the EXACT day I would need to go to part time since mid-July.  Oh, and I have been transferred all but physically since August 13^th.  My supervisor’s response was”, ‘Oh, that won’t work.’  I love it when a plan comes together!  

Speaking of coming together, we evidently are soon to have a manager.  Just 6 months after the last one was let go.  Also, they still have no found a replacement for the full time charge here who left on the 3^rd of August.  So, most days of the week, we have a charge du jour making planning ahead a near impossibility.  It is truly astounding that we haven’t imploded.  

Not much else of interest going on of late.  After all, it is all about Q at the moment.        

Things are different

Last year at this time: Preparing for my fantasy football draft by reading up on player movement, team rosters, and player fantasy values.

This year: Draft set on auto.  Have no idea what the hell is going on.  Watching videos on cloth diapers and comparing hip snaps and adjustable elastic legs (seriously something is wrong with me!).

Last year this time: Need shampoo.  Buy whatever shampoo is on sale.

This year: Look at baby washes, compare them against the EWG website to ensure that nothing in that supposed 'natural and organic' wash is potentially toxic.  Spend 3 hours online comparing cost benefit for things to wash Quinn with.

Last year this time: Free and clear detergent.  Dryer sheets on sale.

This year: Learned what things like 'optical brighteners' are and how dryer sheets actually prevent static electricity.  Buying detergents like Nellie's and Crunchy Clean and questioning why other detergents have so many ingredients.  Using wool dryer balls.

Last year this time: Buy salsa at store.

This year: Pick tomatoes, peppers, onions, etc from garden.  Make own salsa.

Last year this time:  Happy Hour on the patio.

This year: Well, the pic says it all.

2 weeks

It has been nearly 2 weeks since my last post.  Seems both impossible and very very likely.  Honestly, it has been a hectic couple of weeks.

Quinn is still up and down depending on the day (and the time of day).  He has 'colic' very likely, but that isn't much of an actual diagnosis.  Basically it just means he is fussy and there is no medical reason why that is.  All they really know is that it goes away around months 3-4.  They sell a lot of treatments for it, and we have tried them, but none have any proven efficacy and none have worked for us.  He likes the treatments a lot though because they are mixed in sugar.  Everyone has their own suggestions as well, from putting him in a car seat on top of a running dryer to placing some karo syrup in the bottom of his bottle.  In all cases it 'worked for them'.

While we certainly appreciate the ideas, like grown people, babies are unique and seem to sooth in their own ways.  We have found that Quinn likes to be almost violently bounced in a manner that would appear downright abusive from afar.  He also needs to be burped far longer and more vigorously than I would assume is normal.  We have also tried hard to zero in on his cues which are still sometimes mysterious, but we are gradually translating them.  Worst case, only a few more months and this should pass.  God knows what comes next though!

As for work (I always circle around), it remains as much a jumble as before....perhaps more so.  On a positive note, they have placed an interim director and they are committed to getting us a manager by mid September.  There are many possible reasons why it has taken this long, but the most likely reasons are: A. They were paying our old manager a 6 month severance so they did not want to 'double pay' for the position and B. Evidently 6 months was the period of time they could not hire someone for the position without risking a potential lawsuit from our previous manager (I have no idea on what grounds this could be, but because they 'eliminated' her position as a means of removing her, they couldn't 'un-eliminate' it and hire someone else immediately).  Why all of this was necessary vs. just sitting down with her and letting her go for whatever reasons they decided it needed to happen is beyond me, but I can't say I see the bigger picture.  

As for my position, that is less clear.  They haven't yet found a replacement for me.  Of the 3 interviews they arranged, 2 accepted positions elsewhere prior to the interview date and the third neglected to show up at all.  Evidently they are going to try another round of interviews at the end of this month.  Somehow this is better/easier than allowing me to work part time and filling in the spots with a co-worker who already is assigned there every Wednesday and using an on-call or floating from another site (which they often have to do anyway due to census issues at peripheral sites) whatever other day they would like (I am malleable).  In the interim, I have 'accepted' the other position and been transferred per HR.  So, every time I clock in at my current job, I have to clock in as a float or else they will charge my time to the Park......you know, where I supposedly work.  In the meantime, I have been here there and everywhere and most definitely full time.  Just this past week I worked 2 days at EM, 2 at the Park, and one at our Vancouver site.  It is boggling.

They have yet to find a replacement for my supervisor as well, which is leaving the one remaining supervisor (she works 3-4 days a week) a LOT of time to catch up since there is no consistency to who is handing off to her.  Plus, it means we are often short on the floor.  It is every bit as awesome as it sounds.  

And finally, they are evidently working with another local hospital to create a new company that is likely going to swallow up all the clinics within the next year or 2.  This will create a myriad of concerns ranging from how patients are seen to how it will work for us as employees.  I won't bother trying to get into it here, as there is not enough information at present to bother with it, but you can imagine the complications of trying to mash together 2 different systems complete with their own physicians, nurses, charting, and procedures.  Most of the Park's staff are very concerned of course, but since there is little that can be done about it (and it is yet unknown if it might actually prove to be better or worse), there is little reason to fret about it in my opinion.

Quinn is calling.  More later.

rock, paper, scissors

Being back to work is difficult, and not just for me.  It certainly puts a HUGE onus on Tia to take care of Quinn.  She is responsible for him during work hours of course (including getting ready in the morning and travel time, that means she is on duty with Quinn from roughly 8-6) and then she has responsibility for the night shift as well since I have to be somewhat coherent and clear headed to deal with the medications I infuse.  I am therefore generally little to no help after 11 either.  I am sure that it cannot be easy.  There are no scheduled breaks, no real downtime, and no uninterrupted lunches.  Of course, I don’t exactly feel like dancing around after a day at work either, especially when I am still readjusting to it so it is difficult to walk in and want to take full responsibility for him when all you really want is a few minutes of peace to unwind.  In summation: we are both really effing tired.      

All would prove infinitely easier were Quinn to adopt an even semi-regular sleep pattern.   As you can imagine (if you have ever been around a newborn) it isn’t happening as yet.   From what I am told, it might be awhile before it does too (rumor has it 3-6 months).  Of course, by then we will both be working outside of the home, which will create its own obstacles (I foresee a lot of ‘rock, paper, scissors’ matches in the middle of the night).  

The good news is that none of this is unusual.  No matter who you talk to, every parent has been through it and all are happy to regale you with their experience.  It makes you wonder how anyone comes to the decision to do it a second time (or a third for that matter).  Aside from trauma induced amnesia, copious alcohol, straight up prophylactic bursting accidents, or unadulterated sadism, I can’t fathom how it happens.  Certainly with the first child you can disregard the tales, feign utter ignorance, or go forth incredulously believing you will somehow avoid the pratfalls of others, but with the second you have the luxury of your own experience.  One would assume your only response when asked about having another child would be emphatically stating ‘Hell no!”, punching the questioner squarely in the nose, or curling up in a fetal ball bawling loudly like a vet going through PTSD.  That isn’t to say the whole experience is bad, it just isn’t necessarily something I can imagine wanting to go through again.  I am sure there will be a time that I will look back wistfully on these days through the blurry soft-focus Vaseline coated lens of time, but for now I would trade it for a kid that could communicate his wants and needs in manner other than screaming.  

As for work, well that is moving forward in the lurching stop motion fashion of a zombie caught in a strobe light.  I heard today that they called off their ‘on-call’ help at the Park this week because they were told (as was I initially) I was going to be there starting today.  I also heard they are interviewing for my position here tomorrow.  As you can see, communication is a strength.  Hopefully things start coming together soon, because ideally it would be nice to transition over slowly allowing the new person the time and opportunity to learn, ask questions, and feel relatively comfortable before being here by themselves, but honestly as like as not they will just be thrown in the deep end to see if they can swim.  Because, god forbid we think ahead.  

  

Offer accepted (?)

Life is kind of a blur at the moment. 

I have returned to work and today Quinn is officially 1 month old (and -3 days old compared to his theoretical due date).  Though I feel fortunate to have been able to spend so much time at home with him to start (I was only planning on 2 weeks initially for financial reasons) and though it was far more difficult and exhausting than I imagined it to be, I can’t help but feel some guilt for not being there now.  I feel guilty that I am not there for Quinn of course, but mostly I feel guilty that so much is now being put on Tia shoulders.  I feel worse when I hear that it hasn’t been the best of days. 

Yesterday Tia told me she didn’t get lunch until 230 nor shower until after that because Quinn was fussy.  I ended up bringing home dinner, emptying the dishes, taking out the trash, doing laundry, cleaning up the kitchen and spending time with Quinn.  I don’t feel that Tia should have gotten to these things or that she was somehow deficient by doing anything other than existing and ensuring that Quinn did , I just feel terribly that I am not there to take some of the burden from her during the day.  Of course, after I am at work all day, I am tired too.  But, I fully understand her position.  It is a different kind of fatigue and stress when you can never have time to untether yourself from it. 

There isn’t much I can do about it of course.  On the one hand, it would be great for us both to be home taking care of Quinn and trying to help prop one another up.  On the other, it would be great to have the money to pay for food, shelter, and transportation.  Unfortunately, I haven’t found a way to accommodate both simultaneously.   So we split the difference presently: I work for income, Tia to keep Quinn alive.  At least through October anyways, when things will change once again.   

As for work, a curious thing happened while I was checking our online job listings; I evidently ‘accepted’ the position at the Park.  I did this the end of July.  This is, of course, is what we had hoped and worked towards.  However, I have never actually been officially (or for that matter unofficially) offered the position.  I also have only a vague idea based on some general thoughts from the staff there about which days they will want me to work.  Also, when will I start at the Park?  I have heard as soon as next week, but I nothing definitive.  And, of course, no one seems to actually know and there really isn't anyone definitive to ask. 

Additionally, they have yet to hire anyone for my present job(?) and when they do it is unclear if I or someone else will train them (and if it is to be someone else, they will need to train elsewhere as there is no one here besides me that can do that) or whether I will be asked to come back to do that.  I know they have 2 candidates they are interviewing and those interviews are supposed to happen about the middle of next week.  I know nothing else.   

The hope is that tomorrow will clarify things at least somewhat.  Hard to really say though.  My charge nurse returns then anyway, and she puts together the schedule.  The other charge nurse, of course, had her last official day last Friday.  In between, there have just been fill in staffing.  The same as they have used in the clinic.  This helps us all subsist on a day to day basis, but does little to engender long term stability or functionality.  Because, as you all know, there is less buy in when you are temporary and less you really need to be aware of.  For example, when you rent a car, you will put gas in it as required and try not to damage it lest you have to pay for it, but you certainly aren’t taking it in for oil changes, closely evaluating the cause of the pinging sound coming from the engine, or worrying about the tires, filters, et al.  You don’t worry about it because it isn’t your job to do so.  Your job is just to return it in the same condition you rented it. 

As a department, we fix our sites more and more myopically on the present and less and less project out into the future.  We haven’t even had a manager since February.  But, we know who is scheduled for tomorrow and I am sure we will muddle through it again.  And the next day and the next. 

As always, more to come.  Maybe I will have 'accepted' the managerial position by this weekend.  Stay tuned!  

  

I think we can

Today was the first day I genuinely thought, "this is doable."  I don't mean to imply that I thought it otherwise before, but today was the first day that really felt like we began to settle in to the new normal that is life with baby.

Perhaps it is a combination of sleep and another sunny but not too hot day.  Perhaps I am writing this while half crocked on Benadryl and accrued sleep deprivation (which plays some pretty amazing tricks on your mind.......I know longer can say with certainty the exact day or time things have happened over the past month).  Or perhaps it was just Tia and I actually getting out without an actual purpose.  We have made it out to baby showers, MD appointments, to pick up food, and to do some shopping, but not until today to just wander.  We took Quinn up to a local cart pod on Killingsworth and had some pretty horrible Teriyaki followed by us popping down to Alberta to wander about.  It was really nice.  Quinn slept in my arms pretty much the entire time.  He generally is very good while we are out, and then lets us have it as soon as we make it to the car.  A fair trade I suppose.

As is the pattern, Quinn melted down as soon as we got home (we have about 2.5/3 hours max between feedings) and after we got him fed and changed Tia took a nap and I took Quinn downstairs so she could sleep since she very nicely allowed me a good amount of sleep last night and he squiggled and squirmed and cried every few minutes for the subsequent hour and a half.  But, maybe I was just high on a full night's sleep, because it didn't bother me.  And, ultimately, it ended with us taking a nap in the hammock together outside.  Very nice.

Now I ought to finish and post this blog quick before I change my mind.  Every day is a new adventure.

Work

Hidden amongst the new baby acclimating that is eating the lion's share of our time and energy is my still festering work-related concerns; will they or won't they put the pieces of the puzzle together before I return to work next Monday?   Well, it looks like they will.....mostly.

While it has seemed for some time that the job I have been opening ogling at the Park would be mine for the taking, it has not gone smoothly.  To surmise briefly, they talked about it since at least February when I initially expressed interest in moving to part time for childcare reasons.  In the intervening months: my boss was terminated, the plans for my clinic vacillated between shutting it down entirely to expanding it to include another part time staff member and everything in between (and landed squarely upon changing nothing at all), and the position at the Park changed from 3 to 4 days a week and then it was rumored that the current charge there might want to take it over herself rather than work 5 days a week (before also landing squarely upon keeping it as initially intended).  Then, when it all finally looked like it just might work out, Tia had an emergency c-section 5 weeks early and exactly 3 days prior to them posting the Park job...a job for which I was no longer eligible to transfer to because I was on leave.

I have tried to get confirmation that the Park gig was mine.  But, due to what I can only imagine are fairly Byzantine human resource driven policies, no one could say anything directly.  Allusions were plentiful, but statements were difficult to come by.  So, until yesterday there was still a lot of gray instead of black and white.  Now there seems to be a plan...albeit one that is subject to many possible changes.

I go back to work on Monday.  I will return to my old job at that time.  It appears that will only be the case for one week, after which I will start my new job at the Park.  In the interim, they are not hiring anyone for my old position, relying instead on floating people from the Creek down (floating down the Creek? :) to fill in as they are overstaffed and have low patient volumes.  This will work for a time of course, until such point as they do not have low patient volumes in which case they will be in a difficult spot regarding the EM clinic.  But, hopefully that will no longer be my problem and may in fact prove to be a unique opportunity to pick up the odd shift.

What remains fuzzy are the hours/days they will be using me at the Park (what is clear is it will be 3 days/wk) and when they will hire for the EM clinic and how I (or anyone else) will manage to be available to train them at that point.  But, rather than look the gift horse in the mouth, the job is mine and I will be starting it sooner rather than later.  As much as we could have used a few extra weeks of full time pay, we are happy to trade it for the part time position that will allow for less child care for Quinn.  

Now if we could just get Quinn to sleep a bit more.

things I never thought I would do at age 30

There is an ad campaign with the tagline 'Life comes at you fast' (it's efficacy is suspect however, as I recall the tagline but not the product it is associated with...maybe insurance?).  I was thinking exactly that yesterday while I was at Cotton Babies in Vancouver picking out newborn cloth diapering supplies since Quinn has been burning through disposables as we wait for him to weigh enough to move into the cloth diapers we have.  And it wasn't just the whole 'cloth diapering' thing that got me to think about how rapidly things change, it was the whole 'having a baby' which led to the cloth diapering thing.  All of it got me to thinking what things I would not have expected I would be doing at age 35 and, in an effort to narrow the scope of things I heretofore was utterly incredulous about, I am only going to go back to the tender age of 30.

- First and foremost: baby.  I was definitely NOT having one of those at age 30.  Honestly I felt very strongly that way until 34.  Truthfully, 34 and up to the point when the positive pregnancy test rolled in.  It was a lifestyle I was not comfortable with and entailed changes that I could not envision myself making (and still have a hard time with in all honesty).  Gone are the days of quick runs to the store, last minute happy hour plans, and sleeping in on weekends.  I am okay with it, but I will miss it all terribly.

- Cloth diapering.  I thought this was the realm of hippies and involved all manner of safety pins and patience beyond my imagining.  It still will never be 'easy' like disposables, but it also wont be nearly as hard as I thought.  I will try to remember that the first time I have to wash a batch of poopy diapers.

- Owning a lawnmower that runs on pre-gas powered tech.  I used to see them in Archie comics and in old television shows and think how archaic and inefficient.  Then we researched and bought a push mower and I think how much easier it is not having to deal with gasoline, oil, and the noise and pollutants that come with.  Not for every type of lawn, but works great for ours.  Still, never thought I would own one.

- Gardening.  I thought this best left to the same hippies that cloth diapered.  After all, who has time for it.  It is much easier (and cheaper in the short run at least) to just buy produce.  Well, after buying a few hundred dollars worth of dirt and supplies (another thing that I did not think I would ever do), I actually find gardening cathartic.  Who knew?

- Pickling.  Speaking of gardening, I now pickle things.  Something I pictured mostly happened in communes and farms.  Did not see that one coming.

- Running my own clinic.  I will be giving this up soon to move to part time, and it will be much harder than I thought it would be to walk away from.  5 years ago I was just starting nursing school and less than 3 years in the field I was running my own outpatient infusion clinic.  I would never have guessed that I would go from trying to figure out how to take blood pressure with a manual sphygmometer to administering $30K infusion medications without another soul in the clinic.

I know there are countless other things to add to the list and it will continue to grow as life evolves, but damn if life isnt very very different from what I would have guessed it to be at age 30.  God knows what things I thought I would never do will come to pass by 40.  Hopefully it doesn't involve voting Republican or getting really into Jazz music.  But then again, I have been wrong before.  

checking in from the fringe

Having a baby is difficult.  Not that that should surprise anyone who has ever had one.  Hell, we 'knew'
(or at least heard) that going in, but nothing quite prepares you for it.

I didn't think that, without a job intervening, sleep deprivation would be much of an issue.  There are two of us after all.  I was horribly wrong in this assumption.

It doesn't hit you all at once either.  The first few days are difficult, but you manage on pure adrenaline.  Then the next week or so you actually feel pretty good (provided things are generally going well) before the crash occurs.  The past week I have felt alternately weary, achy, easily frustrated, and generally kind of like I have the flu.  I realize this is neither unique nor unexpected, but it does add a degree of difficulty to pretty much everything.  I laughed when Josh (a good friend who just had a baby) talked about how his 'to-do' list went from lengthy and a measure of some accomplished pride to a much more abbreviated form.  I do the same.  I used to mark of things in quick succession, and now I feel pretty damned accomplished if I mow the lawn and run to the store in the same day.  Every task becomes a coordinated effort or does not happen at all.  

And time starts to slip on you as well.  Monday blurs into Tuesday and then you wake up on Friday and can't remember how that happened.  We keep careful track of feedings, diaper changes, and medications not because we are obsessive, but because we would have no idea what time he last ate (provided he didn't remind us, which he does), shat, or had a clean diaper.  You find yourself eating breakfast at noon not because you couldn't muster up the energy to make it at 9, but rather because you didnt get to sleep until 5:30 and didnt manage to get up until 6 hours thereafter.

Things begin to accumulate in piles everywhere.  A week's worth of opened mail here, some packing materials over there.  That table that you just cleared off yesterday is not heaped with burp rags, binkies, and various baby-related flotsam.  Bottles line the counters either drying or assembled and ready for the next round of feeding.  Of course, it looks far worse than it is.  But with neither the time nor the energy to tidy it all up, it continues its creep forth.

"Sleep when he sleeps" is an oft repeated refrain to cure the ills of deprivation, but it is far easier to say (and it is evidently very easy to say since nearly everyone does) but far less easy to do.  When Quinn awakens, it is usually to be fed.  Then he needs to be upright for a bit.  Then he needs to be changed.  Then the bottle needs to be cleaned and Quinn usually needs some time on our persons.  Then, by the time you get him back down, you catch a glimpse of your unshowered, unshaved visage with hair that would make Tim Burton look twice.  You clean and brush yourself, change, eat, and just get ready to lie down and, you guessed it, feeding time again.  

I know this is largely complaint driven.  We have been very fortunate to have a healthy baby who is doing well and isn't overly fussy and family and friends who have pledged support when needed.  We know we are blessed to have each other as we both work hard to do our share and take up the slack when the other needs a break.  We are doing, all things considered, pretty darn well.  Still, it isn't easy, and I feel okay in saying that here.  I know one day this will be over, Quinn will be able to respond to us and sleep in larger chunks of time.  Our lives will return to some semblance of normality and maybe, just maybe, we will look back fondly on this time.  But for now, all I can think of is curling up in bed until tomorrow.


   

Potpourri

I remember when I used to watch Jeopardy they often had Potpourri as a category, which was kind of a mishmash of random non-thematic questions.  I figured it was a good title for a mishmash of random odds and bits.  Unfortunately, my ability to string together cohesion on the amount of sleep I have been getting is low.  So, potpourri it is.

-  I used to understand time differently.  There was morning, noon, and night.  There was breakfast, lunchtime, and dinner time.  There was bed time.  Now, of course, I only know two kinds of time and will for at least a little while.  Feeding time and the time until the next feeding.  It is exhausting and disorienting.  Days kind of blur together, the edges no longer solidified in any meaningful way.  Even when we are out, it is hard to remember how long it has been since we got home and how old Quinn is now.  Still, after our doc apt today (the third since discharge) when we got the results that he is doing well, gaining weight, and growing.....it all feels worthwhile.  Amazing when I think back to a little more than a week ago we were feeding him with a 1mL insulin syringe.  

-  I realize I haven't had the chance to post since we got home.  We stayed in the hospital until Thursday and thankfully we had Tia's baby shower the day Quinn was born where we got a lot of the things we ended up needing.  Tia's workmates also chipped in to get us a car seat and her boss was kind enough to deliver it so we could bring the little guy home.  We definitely were not ready just yet.  Had he waited just one more week, we would have gotten there.  Oh well, gotta roll with the punches.  Quinn didn't give us much choice.

-  We have officially survived one week on our own.  Tia and I have been working very well together, trying to balance the roles and our efforts.  Giving each other time when we need to.  It doesn't make it easy, but it makes it doable.  How people do this on their own is beyond me.  I would be a mess.  And this with a little one who really doesn't cry of fuss much at all without a very distinct reason (hungry, wet, or pick me up seem to be the three reasons).  That said, we have both been christened with spit up and urine.  It is a learning curve.

-  People have been asking how our cats are dealing with the new addition.  Well, as you can see from the pic, pretty well.  They really do not care.  At all.  I think they might even like it because we are home so much more than before.  They might not get the focused attention they used to, but they certainly get it in more total volume.

-  I heard from my supervisor today (one of the 2 charges at my hospital site) and she is evidently moving on to work for our old boss in Labor & Delivery.  She leaves the Friday prior to my return.  Will be a huge hole to fill.  She had her flaws (we all do), but was honestly a nice person, easy to work with, and exceptionally skilled.  Will definitely miss her.

-  As for my own job saga, I am hearing rumors the Park gig is mine and there are certainly allusions indicating it as such, but I am certainly not overflowing with confidence about it.  Until I get an official offer, I can't count on it.  However, life will be a WHOLE lot easier once that happens.  Will be a crazily fortuitous turn of events.  Keep em crossed for me.  

-  Bought a new car today.  It was a fairly typical experience......meaning not wonderful.  Thankfully, Tia is a hard ass negotiator and I am getting there as well.  I certainly have no more tolerance for bullshit, something car dealers have excesses of.  We ended up getting a Kia Forte EX hatchback.  It is a really nice car for the price.  When you are looking for a car around $15K, you certainly don't expect blue tooth, USB & I-pod connectivity, steering wheel mounted controls, and a decently peppy ride to boot.  Our big goals were high gas mileage (check: 27/36), enough room for a car seat (yep), and some utility (hatchback).  I think we hit them all.

We started the process test driving a used 2012 model with 15K for about $15K (14,900).  It was really nice and fit our goals, but I looked at the paper and they were selling new sedan models at another dealership (Broadway Kia) for $14,721.  It wasn't the color/interior we wanted, but it would have a more robust warranty and it costs less.  We took this back to Dick Hannah to try to negotiate on the used model.  They wouldn't budge and refused to believe the price (it was in an ad in the Oregonian with specific vin numbers).  We then went through an overlong process of looking at, and ultimately not finding common ground on at Hyundai Elantra (they wanted north of $17,500).  We went home and Tia called Tonkin in Gladstone.  They said they could do the sedan for $14,700 to earn our business (turned out to be $14,799 by the way).  They also had a hatchback for "$600-$800 more."   Well, we got there and decided we preferred the hatch, they came back with a price of $16,900.  I pointed out that, MSRP, it is $500 for a hatchback over the sedan (evidently news to the salesperson) and we went and looked at the MSRPs.  Back to the manager.  New quote: $15,900.  Below invoice (even with holdbacks, but that doesnt count kickbacks for volume plus their need to move 2012 models).  Still a no.  We finally agree on just shy of $15,600.

Then we go to sign the papers, and the internet is down.  Quinn is starting to fuss.  They go across the street to print them out.  We go to sign and, surprise surprise, they (for our convenience) added an extended warranty (beyond the 5/60K bumper to bumper and 10/100K powertrain that is standard) for $2400 and gap coverage for another $500.  We decline.  They try to negotiate it with us (what about $500 for the extended warranty instead?").  Not happening.  Also, no on the gap since we are financing far less than the car is worth, gap coverage is UTTERLY pointless and something you can get (if you want/need it) from your own insurance company for a LOT less.  Then they try to sell us a package of oil changes (20 for $249) because "you need to change the oil every 3000-3500 miles."  I point out that the manual states every 7500 miles and that no new car requires it more than every 5000 miles and there is no point in prepaying for oil changes until the car has 150,000 miles on it.  He tries to tell me that Oregon falls under 'extreme weather' so you can't wait 7500 miles.  I point out that is ridiculous and utterly untrue as we have no extreme heat nor cold here and I am going to guess that Kia (who makes the effing car) knows more than he does.  He then tries to explain it further to me because I am "not understanding" what he is saying.  I want to punch him.  We then have to wait for new paperwork that removes all the crap we didn't want, ask for, nor have explained/offered to us and finally leave with the car at the price we agreed upon.  This is why buying cars sucks.

Addendum: Got a call from the dealership today.  Evidently they cannot combine one of the incentives with the 2.9% rate.........and instead will need to revise to a 3.9% rate.  After a few calls (and threats on our part to just give the damn car back) they agreed to further reduce the price to mitigate the difference.  They are also driving out to us to sign the paperwork since the dealership is in Gladstone.  I hate car buying!  

But, yay for a healthy baby boy! :)

Baby!

What a crazy night and completely and totally unexpected.  Tia's baby shower (which was amazing, we are truly fortunate to have so many wonderful friends and family) ended at about 5.  By 530, Tia was feeling nauseous.  By 6 she was vomiting.  By 8 we were on our way to the hospital for, presumably, hydration.  By 930, the baby was experiencing rapid decelerations (caused by stress from the lack of blood flow through the umbilical cord).  By 10 she was being wheeled in to an emergency C-section under general anesthesia.  At 1008, our baby came out into the world while I watched through a small window because I wasn't let into the surgical suite.  Everything gets fuzzy after that.

But, at the moment, Tia is recovering at Sunnyside, our son is at St. Vincent's hospital, and I am putting together an overnight bag and heading towards St. Vincent's.  Our son was transferred by ambulance at about 1am and Tia should be transferred (also by ambulance) at some point today once they have space for us.  Hopefully, at some point tonite, we will all be together.  For now, I am just happy everyone is okay.

5lbs 14ounces.  18.75" inches long.  Good APGAR score of 9/10.

So much for the baby classes/breathing exercises though.  Ah, the best laid plans.

One more month

Despite it seeming like it is taking a LONG time to arrive, the countdown to the kiddo is progressing along as it should.  It wasn’t without a bit of internal terror that I realized, OMG its July!  Tonight we have our antepenultimate baby class which culminates on the 9^th, and Tia has her personal and work baby showers over the course of the next week.  Then it is pretty much time to pack an overnight bag and wait for the kiddo to decide he is ready to come out and say hello. 

It is weird the things you think about/forget about with a baby coming.  For instance, the other day I thought that we really should plan our fall/winter vacation so we have something to look forward to when the winter comes and then, very shortly thereafter, I remembered that we would have a newborn and caring for him might preclude a sunny jaunt down to Mexico.  This will clearly take some getting used to.  

Not much else new to report since my last post.  Just plowing through the list of items we are hoping to have completed by the time baby comes if only because it seems unlikely we will have the time, energy, or mental capacity to undertake them once he arrives.  To that end, we finished up the stairwell painting (a pretty amazing feet considering the height of the wall above the stairs), got the garden and weeding mostly under control (the latter is a losing battle, but I continue to soldier on so our yard doesn’t look like, well, our neighbor’s yard honestly).   We have so far gotten a pretty good yield of salad greens, scallions, and zucchini, though our beets are not looking too hot, our carrots are mostly pretty miniature, and our tomatoes have grown gigantic but are not yet ripening.  This will be a good learning experience going into the next summer (like don’t plant zucchini near ANYTHING else…..it gets way too large) and it has proven pretty enjoyable/cathartic.  Plus, next year, I won’t have to haul back 100 wheelbarrow’s full of dirt!  

Just waiting on my last patient.  I won’t say anything about her (lest I violate HIPPA) but she is funded by the Oregon Health Plan.  I mention this because she was upset the other day about the Supreme Court saying that Obamacare (or whatever you want to call it) was legal and could move forward.  I don’t know the specific details of the plan, so I cannot say with any certainty that it going to be a panacea for the health care system or an albatross, but I believe it represents an important step forward.  I say this having seen so many people without health care come through the hospital who would have benefitted from access to preventative health care, but use the ER instead because they cannot be refused treatment (at that point, they are usually in a much worse position).  But, I find it ironic that someone who only has health care because of a publicly funded option (and in my opinion abuses it), is opposed to health care as a publicly funded option for everyone else.  I just really hope she can’t (or at least doesn’t) vote.  

Off to baby class.  

Choose another 'path'

Tia told me the other day that my blogs read kind of negatively.  I don’t see it that way, but evidently she does and, I assume, maybe others do as well.  It isn’t my intent and certainly not some condemnation of my life at present.  I just generally write about things I feel strongly about, whether they be extremely good or not so good.   The major gist is, this isn’t a painting of my life as a whole, but rather a series of snapshots.  Because honestly, who wants to hear about the generalities and mendacity that make up a stereotypical day? 

On to actual events, there is some seemingly exceedingly positive news; we have found a daycare.  We went to 3 in-home sites and found one that had the right combination of safety, location, price and mission.  The first place we visited was also very promising, but all things being equal we didn’t see anything that made it worth nearly 25% more per month.  It is still not ‘cheap’ but it is comparatively reasonable.  The only two high comedy watermarks came at the only center we visited (and walked quickly out of as it appeared to be run by the homeless and what appeared to be an amalgamation of every late middle aged woman you see on ‘Hoarders’) and at the last in-home care we saw. 

The last place had a wildly different POV on parenting, largely in their refusal to negate anything.  In our hour we saw the woman who runs the place’s daughter pick up an ink pen.  Her mother gave her the option (or ‘path’ in her speak) of putting the pen in her cubby or giving it to her mother.  She chose neither, opting instead to write on the wall.  The presented another series of ‘paths’ to redirect her from drawing on the wall and led to her drawing on her dress.  That failing, she was given 2 other paths and, you guessed it, chose to start drawing on her body.  Then we had to sit and talk about the place after our tour, and while other care centers introduced us to the kids, took us on a tour, and then brought us somewhere to discuss and ask questions, she chose the ‘path’ of having most of the kids climb on her like a jungle gym and interrupt her every sentence.  Meanwhile her assistant did nothing to ‘redirect’ them elsewhere.  I envisioned Tia and I having to spend every night trying to undo the learning each day.  Honest to god, it was like being on a bad blind date.  You show up and the other person launches into diatribe lifted from Fox news and you know instantly you need to extricate yourself, but end up sitting through dinner because you can’t figure out a polite way to do so.  It is an hour I will never get back, but at least it provided some interesting stories.  And for that, we thank you.

We also have finally finished our nursery.  Once we get a car seat, we will be ‘unofficially’ done buying stuff (or getting stuff as the case may be).  I am very pleased with how it came out.  Tia and I had to be creative to get it to work within budget and special thanks to everyone who sent us Dr. Seuss books, to Diane for the Cat in the Hat clock and lampshade, and to My mom’s friend Rhonda for the beautiful hand made Cat in the Hat blanket.   

As for work, well that just gets stickier and stickier and I am finding it difficult to remain above the morass.  They approved the position here and will be posting it “soon” per my supervisor.  However, the position at the Park remains murky.  If the charge there, KV, opts to cut back her schedule to 4 days a week (per her, she was just hoping to do every other Thursday), they may post the position there as a .8 instead of a .6.  This obviously could prove troublesome from a childcare perspective, though we could probably still make it work 3 days a week.  Honestly, my major concern is when the hell they are going to post it.  The only upside (and it isn’t a huge one) is I have not put my notice in in any shape or form, so they can’t just get rid of me until that occurs and if that were to happen I could collect unemployment at that point, possibly mitigating the need to have childcare initially.  But again, WTF!?!?  The next step is evidently KV contacting our actual supervisor, interim as she may be, instead of the nurse exec at her site who is not in fact her boss.  Then, once Janine gets that info, they can in theory move ahead in whichever manner they are deciding to.  I always have the option of on call, and may need to avail myself of it, but it is increasingly frustrating that they show me one thing (the part time job they have been talking about since at least February) and then continue to dangle it far out of reach.    

And so the story goes…….. 

Pendulum

Life is pendulous.  If you are lucky, it isn’t swinging like a metronome at 4 beats per and you get to spend more time in the calm center and not the furthest swings.  However, sometimes self induced and sometimes external, there are times when you spend a little too much time out on the periphery.  Great when you are on a high, less so when you are not.  Lately, I have not been. 

There are myriad reasons why this is so, and nary a one of them is cataclysmic.  I realize that I am very fortunate to have a job I can tolerate and sometimes even like, a loving wife, and a good relationship with friends and family.  It is the constant uncertainty that is undermining my general sense of wellbeing.  The damndest part of that is that there really is no end in sight. 

There is still no timeline on when they are going to post out for my current position and, therefore, no timeline on when they might post out for the position at the Park.  This is due in large part to there being no timeline for hiring a Director and, therefore, no timeline for that person to then hire a manager.  What there is a timeline for however, is the baby.  Whether or not they figure out any of the above, the baby is coming, and I am dead certain he isn’t interested in the politics at my job nor the difficulty in finding childcare that is willing to work around the notion that we will need 3 days a week, we just aren’t exactly sure what three days those will be (and evidently it isn’t illuminating to say ‘not Saturday and Sunday’). 

Of course, clarifying one issue might lead to a bevy of other ones.  Should I find myself down at the Park in due time, there is the question of having a vehicle.  While my in-laws have been nothing if not wonderful about providing us their little used second car, it is not something that Tia or I feel comfortable putting a baby seat into.  Plus there is the fact that it takes premium fuel and gets no better than 13 miles to the gallon on average.  Still, it would take a lot of fill ups to equal another ride and, until we get settled into some more permanent work situations, it is an amazing luxury to have for the time being.    

The only other issue going on at the moment (for me anyway) is my damned allergies.  I am now on enough medications that I can easily breathe out of my nose a majority of the time, but it is also enough that I feel perpetually exhausted and wrung out.  I am not sleeping so much as passing out evidently and am not sure what to do to fix it.  Plus, with the addition of the steroids, I have the added benefit of sweating like I just crossed the finish line at a 5K every time I move overmuch.  I am going to have to start wearing headbands like Lebron so I don’t drip on anyone if this keeps up.  But, again, I can breathe.  So, there is that. 

The upshot is that, eventually, it looks like I will get my wish to cut to part time; just the when and the where need to be figured.  And, eventually, we will get child care figured out, though again it might not put us in an ideal situation from the jump like we would prefer.  And, one would assume that eventually the allergies will have to recede back like the tide and I can go back to just a few antihistamines (a few daily anyway) and find some kind of stasis until the shots finally (hopefully) take effect. 

Until all of that happens though………ugh.  Wake me when its over.   

Kool-Aid

Sometimes life is just overwhelming.  You tend to lose perspective and get swallowed up inside of it.  Working in a hospital helps, because there is always someone in worse straits…generally in the very next room you go into (though, at my hospital, many of these situations are self imposed).  Still, it is hard not to let stress eat at you. 

Tia’s job seems to be, finally, settling in.  Nothing is 100%, but the odds are in her favor that she will be retained at 80%.  My job continues to be somewhat of a mystery, but it is looking more and more like the plan is to hire someone full time for the clinic, have me train them, and then me moving to a part time position at the Park.  This isn’t ideal, but it will work…you know, if it in fact happens.  Until I see a job posted and I apply and am accepted in, I take nothing as a guarantee.  I have seen enough working to know that everyone is expendable.  However, I do get the impression that they are TRYING to make it work for me, which is heartening.  Still, my stomach is doing backflips while I wait to see what actually happens. 

Tia’s pregnancy is still moving along just about how it should except for some edematous extremities, but thankfully it is just retention and not the dreaded preeclampsia.  Her reflux is under better control and she has been, though in fits and starts, sleeping a bit more than she was (though a lot less than she would prefer). 

The house remodel continues its somewhat lurching forward momentum.  Feels like 2 steps forward, 1 step back all the time.  We finally get the walls down, but it creates so much mess that it takes a full day to clear it.  Then we start painting and everything is a mess again.  And the list goes on and on and on.  If we aren’t trundling loads of dirt and rock by wheelbarrow, assembling poorly drilled out and vaguely directed pieces of Swedish furniture, or painting, digging, or pressure cleaning something…..well, it must be a weekday.  And while there is no ‘clock’ per se, we are kind of trying to finish it all before August when the kiddo will be making his entrance and anything unfinished will likely stay that way for the conceivable future. 

The newest new thing was seemingly simple and ultimately not at all.  We had to cut a piece of granite.  However, it wasn’t a straight cut….it had to be notched.  So, we bring it to have it cut with a template included.  Tia calls later that day to say that they cut the finished end and then had to re-finish it (it is bull nosed).  Then, I evidently wrote the wrong measurement (though the physical template was correct) and they cut it to my measure (my fault, but annoying they didn’t stop to ask why the template and the measurements didn’t match…and erred on the side of cutting too much rather than too little).  So, as I write this our contractor (who has been nothing if not spectacularly helpful and brutally efficient, truly exemplary) is trying to fix all the above to make it work while not looking like someone tried to fix it to make it work.  Should be interesting.  I will say this, if he can’t make it happen, I have a hard time envisioning someone else could. 

As a side bar this is the stated policy of the granite place. 

Tia: We need to get a piece of granite cut, can you do that?

GP (granite place): Yes, for $75.  But, if it isn’t our granite, we can’t promise you we won’t crack it/break it.

Tia: Um, so if that happens, do you replace it?

GP: No

Tia: Are we still expected to pay for it?

GP:  Yes, because we are charging you for our time to cut it. 

If you go to a restaurant, and they burn your medium rare filet, you would ask that either they give you a new one or not charge you anything.  You would be incredulous if they said something to the effect of, “too bad” and expected you to pay for the time they spent effing up your meal.  Suffice to say we would not have paid and they would have just inherited a now broken piece of granite. 

We also had an exterminator out recently to deal with what can only be called an ant infestation at this point.  We tried out some store bought spray, but to no avail.  Now, our bathtub looks like an ant version of Kool-Aid day at the Jim Jones cult every time we walk in the bathroom.  Kind of gross, but at least we know its working. 

The last bitching I will do is about Short Term Disability (STD).  Evidently, short term disability covers you after childbirth (just the birther of course).  Tia’s starts after 30 days @ 50% of her salary.  For a  vaginal birth you are eligible for 6 weeks and for a c-section 8.  Our thought was this: Days 1-30 we would use Tia’s sick and vacation time.  Then 6 weeks of 50% pay followed by 2 weeks of no pay.  What we found out is that the ‘clock’ for disability starts the day the kid is born.  So, she will get 4 weeks of sick/vacation pay (or whatever of that she has to cover with) followed by 2 weeks of STD (covering you from day 31-44) and then NADA/ZIP/ZERO for the last 6 weeks.  Damn it!  

As for the good things, well we are still employed.  We still have lots of friends and family who continue to be overwhelmingly generous with gifts for our kiddo.  We still have a house that we love and the three best cats you could want (even with the obvious drawback of a cat we refer to half-lovingly as the ‘vomit comet’).  And, through it all, we still have each other (and generally are pretty happy with that arrangement). 

Here is to a better week.  Until then……only 3 more childcare centers to visit. 

 Post Script:  Got home and damned if the granite didn't turn out pretty well.  Our contractor is good.  

If this ride doesn't stop soon, I think I am going to vomit

Ah work.  The perpetual miasma of indecision and misdirection.  I spoke
with one of my supervisors in the morning on Tuesday and she told me 'we
are probably going to look at closing the clinic in August when you go
on leave'.   She did not mean temporarily while I was out, she meant
permanently.  The demands of staffing it when I am gone, the fact that I
do not want to work full time when I get back, and the fact that we
hemorrhage money month to month coalesced into the perfect shit storm.
So, I called Tia to tell her the news.  My options, as they were, are to
see if MP ends up posting a part time gig (still possible, but still not
concrete) or working on-call.  The advantage of on call is the bump in
pay (and extra 10% hourly) and increased flexibility.  The disadvantages
are being the first ones flexed, having nothing guaranteed, and being
required to go to any number of sites to work.  So, not ideal really,
but passable.

Skipping ahead to later in the day, the script gets totally flipped.
Evidently the long awaited financial report finally came through and,
shockingly/mysteriously we actually are profitable.  In fact, per this
report (of which I have yet to see) we are VERY profitable, especially
when you consider the size of the operation.   So now the discussion
isn't how quickly we can close it, but whether or not we should be
posting the full time gig here and getting someone trained before I
leave the full time position in October and, by the way, maybe finally
adding an additional part time position 3 days a week (which may itself
become full time).  So, now I could possibly even stay here.

Of course the reality is no one has any idea what the plan is.  I have a
meeting with the nurse exec next week that will hopefully illuminate
that somewhat.  That is the hope anyway.  Since we still have no
director and the manager role won't be filled until the director is
hired, has time to settle in, and then post the position, interview the
candidates and select from amongst them....lets just say nothing is
imminent.  The big issue for me is that we seem to be so fixated on A or
B, without ever considering C.  Why not just open it part time and see
what happens?  Honestly, that isn't likely to prove disruptive to a vast
majority of our patients and they would not have to change anything at
the moment......and could reevaluate the clinic once whoever they put in
the management positions have time to evaluate it.

This of course not only affects our financial bottom line, but really
impairs our ability to determine a good plan for the kiddo.  How do we
reserve a spot anywhere when we can't say how often we will need the
care?  How to we figure out if we can manage with one car, or need a
second?  The whole thing is a GD mess.  I hope that things clear up by
next week.  If not, just close it and let me collect unemployment and
take care of the kiddo for awhile.  Then we can all be happy :)

Everybody working for the weekend

There is just something luxuriant about a long weekend.  So much so that Tia and I opted to extend it a little further by taking off Friday as well.  It was the first weekend in some time that I can remember really relaxing, in between all the projects and errands we lately find ourselves embroiled in.  Of course, we did some of those too. 

Friday was a spa day.  Started with some chouquettes (an eggy donut-like pastry topped withsugar) and chocolate croissants still soft from the oven from St. Honore.  We then ambled down to the spa, where we soaked our feet, drank tea, and had warm oil scalp massages…followed by 90 minute full  body massages.  It is a rare treat that we both expect to be rarer once the baby comes (both because of cost and time).  We finished up by dropping off some paint for recycling and lunching at Grand Central (who have the BEST cowboy cookies you can buy…second only to the ones Tia makes).  Of course, being us, we then managed to get outside and trim some hedges, mow the lawn, and otherwise work on house projects. 

The rest of the weekend followed a similar pattern, leisure and work.  Of accomplishments and down time.  We drove up to the casino (lost a sum total of less than $10 between the 2 of us), took in a happy hour at Trader Vics (the most amazing crispy coconut shrimp and some seriously potent Mai Tais), and made dinner for my in-laws.  Also, we pressure cleaned the driveway and walkways, trimmed every hedge, bush, and plant in the front yard, weeded, hung shelving, cleaned, registered at Target for baby stuff, put together a bed frame, bought a mattress and hauled it home, and ran a smattering of other errands.  We also faced off with my old arch enemy….mulch.

For some reason, mulch ALWAYS misleads me.  It seems like each bag should go so much further, should cover so much more ground.  I had guessed maybe 8 bags of it for the front in between all the plants (and mind you, it isn’t as though we live on a palatial plantation-like plot of land) and Tia went ahead and picked up 12, which should SURELY be enough.  Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t nearly enough.  So, we have one half a finished product and one half looking better than it did before, but rather less than impressive comparatively.  Damn you mulch!  

So, what’s left?  Well, as Tia reminds me always, the projects NEVER end when you own a home.  We still need to paint the stairway, mulch the other half of the yard, and finish up the back yard’s planting.  Plus, god knows how many other things I have forgotten.  The projects aren’t all fun, but they are rewarding and I am invested in the outcomes.  Still, it is nice to be able to step away now and again and just do something fun with no real goals or intentions.  Now if there were only a few more long weekends.  Preferably every weekend.  

Little Talks

It is a curious thing writing a blog.  It serves both as a window (however draped) into my life and my muddled thoughts and as a diary of sorts for me to look back on and remember more acutely and possibly more accurately, the events that have led to this point in time.  It can also be hard to come up with topics to discuss when life can at times prove fairly rote and, dare I say it, ordinary.  This isn’t a bad thing for the purposes of actual life, as no one really wants to whipsaw from crisis to crisis, but it can make it hard to document without a degree of tedium shrouding every word.  

While I think it fascinating that we have put together an actual garden with actual growing things in it, it doesn’t exactly lend itself to the written page.  While I feel accomplished every time I put together something that works well for our house (our new bench!) or fix things, it translates poorly here.  Hence, the general lack of new text appearing on this site.  

Speaking of tedium, work remains remarkably staid.  Still little to no help here in the clinic and, conversely, they seem to have little need of my assistance in the hospital.  So, when the load is light, I am left largely to myself.  Plus, now that wound care is no longer here, I am literally by myself.  I suppose I ought not complain about being paid for being available to work rather than actually working, I can’t help but feel like I would just as soon be sent home so that I can be productive doing something else.  That said, I suppose we need the money more now than we need the lawn looking especially well tended and, much as I would like to have them done, there are few things on the to-do list that can’t stand to wait another day or week or month.  Plus, these are the kind of days that make up for the ones that you barely get lunch and never get your breaks. 

The rumor mill continues to grind the grist of a dozen conjectures.  They are interviewing someone from Colorado!  They have hired someone already!  They have 3 viable candidates!  They have no viable candidates!  We will have a director soon!  They are going to hire a manager instead!  They are going to hire both!  And on and on they go.  As with all else, I will post when events warrant.  Until then, assume like I do that nothing is in the offing...and you will most likely be correct. 

Tia continues to have her sleep troubles.  It has got to be infuriating knowing that it is just the beginning of such occurrences.  Some people say it is the body preparing for the lack of sleep to come.  But, if I knew I was going to be fasting tomorrow, you can be sure I would eat as much as possible tonight.  I would think the body would do the same.  All I know is that I feel badly for her.  On little sleep, I am clumsy, grouchy, and overall brain addled.  It is like, well, like most Mondays really.  

Not much else to report upon, so I will leave you (and me) with my current go to song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghb6eDopW8I&ob=av3e

Fixing things

There is nothing quite like home ownership to teach you how to fix things.  Home ownership + the internet + hardware store = weekend.

This past weekend, we learned all that we could possibly want or need to know about fixing windows including new terms (to me anyway) like balances and sashes.  But, after a bit of searching, we fixed a window that had been broken since we moved in with about 10 minutes of work.  Then, while Tia was away, I 'Ikea hacked' some Besta furniture and made some custom benches for our former dining area.  With the application of some better structural supports and outdoor bench cushions, we now have an awesome window seat with great underneath storage that looks like a built in.  Now this weekend our dryer stopped working and, after some more searching, we took the whole damn thing apart and tested the door switch, the thermal fuse, and the starter....all of which of course worked upon testing.  Then I put it all back together and, somehow, it worked.  I don't know if this counts as 'fixing' it, but Tia's logic is that it didn't work before and it does now, so it counts.  At the very least I now know how to take a dryer apart.  

We also managed to divest ourselves of some garage clutter.  If you have some garage clutter, follow these simple steps: 1. Put item on CL under 'free'.  2. Await responses......lots of them.  3. Get rid of clutter.  Truly one person'a trash is another person's treasure (and in our case, most of said trash was left in the garage when we moved here).   Eventually, with a little luck, time, and effort we may have an organized garage space...a manicured back yard that cultivates actual food...a complete nursery...and a more usable kitchen.  Now if we could just find a little extra time to work on all these things.

No changes at work.  Some rumors circulating about a possible new director coming in from Colorado, but it is hard to say if there is any truth behind it.  Typically it is little more than talk and certainly there is nothing substantiating it.  We shall see.

Speaking of running around, perhaps some food would be a good idea.  Now if we could just find the time to make that happen.

May Day

These are the times that it is tough to blog.  There isn't much of particular note that has changed since my last post.  The garden is now actually growing (abetted by the copious Portland rains).  The yard is looking more and more like we want it to, instead of just cultivating weeds.  The nursery is nearly done (although it has remained nearly done for some time).  There are many projects to be done of course, but it is all happening.  

As for the baby front, we are now (per the app) about 100 days from sleep becoming a fond memory.  Tia continues well (despite the horrendous acid reflux) and things are progressing as they should.  We are learning that child care is something that you need to explore prior to even having one.  Terms like 'wait list' are omnipresent.  And good lord are they expensive.  For 5 days a week it looks to be between $1000-$1350/month and about 10-15% per day less.  Yikes.  

On the work front, little has changed.  We still have no boss.  The clinic still limps along with just me 4 of the 5 days a week.  There are still staffing problems.  There is no real forward momentum, though I guess stasis is better than continued deterioration.  On the upside, I am still left mostly to my own devices.  

I have had opportunity to meet with the COO of finance, though the meeting unfortunately was mostly spent trying to explain what it is we do and offer suggestions on how to best cull the data they are trying to collect.  So, in summation, 2 months after meeting with the nurse exec, we are still trying to find a way to collect the data that can begin to determine the financial viability of the clinic.  Meanwhile, I saw 3 uninsured and 1 marginally insured patient today.  Sigh.  I still hope that they will consider a way to keep me around part time come the fall.  We shall see (don't worry about what you cannot control).  I will post as events warrant.