Hidden amongst the new baby acclimating that is eating the lion's share of our time and energy is my still festering work-related concerns; will they or won't they put the pieces of the puzzle together before I return to work next Monday? Well, it looks like they will.....mostly.
While it has seemed for some time that the job I have been opening ogling at the Park would be mine for the taking, it has not gone smoothly. To surmise briefly, they talked about it since at least February when I initially expressed interest in moving to part time for childcare reasons. In the intervening months: my boss was terminated, the plans for my clinic vacillated between shutting it down entirely to expanding it to include another part time staff member and everything in between (and landed squarely upon changing nothing at all), and the position at the Park changed from 3 to 4 days a week and then it was rumored that the current charge there might want to take it over herself rather than work 5 days a week (before also landing squarely upon keeping it as initially intended). Then, when it all finally looked like it just might work out, Tia had an emergency c-section 5 weeks early and exactly 3 days prior to them posting the Park job...a job for which I was no longer eligible to transfer to because I was on leave.
I have tried to get confirmation that the Park gig was mine. But, due to what I can only imagine are fairly Byzantine human resource driven policies, no one could say anything directly. Allusions were plentiful, but statements were difficult to come by. So, until yesterday there was still a lot of gray instead of black and white. Now there seems to be a plan...albeit one that is subject to many possible changes.
I go back to work on Monday. I will return to my old job at that time. It appears that will only be the case for one week, after which I will start my new job at the Park. In the interim, they are not hiring anyone for my old position, relying instead on floating people from the Creek down (floating down the Creek? :) to fill in as they are overstaffed and have low patient volumes. This will work for a time of course, until such point as they do not have low patient volumes in which case they will be in a difficult spot regarding the EM clinic. But, hopefully that will no longer be my problem and may in fact prove to be a unique opportunity to pick up the odd shift.
What remains fuzzy are the hours/days they will be using me at the Park (what is clear is it will be 3 days/wk) and when they will hire for the EM clinic and how I (or anyone else) will manage to be available to train them at that point. But, rather than look the gift horse in the mouth, the job is mine and I will be starting it sooner rather than later. As much as we could have used a few extra weeks of full time pay, we are happy to trade it for the part time position that will allow for less child care for Quinn.
Now if we could just get Quinn to sleep a bit more.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
things I never thought I would do at age 30
There is an ad campaign with the tagline 'Life comes at you fast' (it's efficacy is suspect however, as I recall the tagline but not the product it is associated with...maybe insurance?). I was thinking exactly that yesterday while I was at Cotton Babies in Vancouver picking out newborn cloth diapering supplies since Quinn has been burning through disposables as we wait for him to weigh enough to move into the cloth diapers we have. And it wasn't just the whole 'cloth diapering' thing that got me to think about how rapidly things change, it was the whole 'having a baby' which led to the cloth diapering thing. All of it got me to thinking what things I would not have expected I would be doing at age 35 and, in an effort to narrow the scope of things I heretofore was utterly incredulous about, I am only going to go back to the tender age of 30.
- First and foremost: baby. I was definitely NOT having one of those at age 30. Honestly I felt very strongly that way until 34. Truthfully, 34 and up to the point when the positive pregnancy test rolled in. It was a lifestyle I was not comfortable with and entailed changes that I could not envision myself making (and still have a hard time with in all honesty). Gone are the days of quick runs to the store, last minute happy hour plans, and sleeping in on weekends. I am okay with it, but I will miss it all terribly.
- Cloth diapering. I thought this was the realm of hippies and involved all manner of safety pins and patience beyond my imagining. It still will never be 'easy' like disposables, but it also wont be nearly as hard as I thought. I will try to remember that the first time I have to wash a batch of poopy diapers.
- Owning a lawnmower that runs on pre-gas powered tech. I used to see them in Archie comics and in old television shows and think how archaic and inefficient. Then we researched and bought a push mower and I think how much easier it is not having to deal with gasoline, oil, and the noise and pollutants that come with. Not for every type of lawn, but works great for ours. Still, never thought I would own one.
- Gardening. I thought this best left to the same hippies that cloth diapered. After all, who has time for it. It is much easier (and cheaper in the short run at least) to just buy produce. Well, after buying a few hundred dollars worth of dirt and supplies (another thing that I did not think I would ever do), I actually find gardening cathartic. Who knew?
- Pickling. Speaking of gardening, I now pickle things. Something I pictured mostly happened in communes and farms. Did not see that one coming.
- Running my own clinic. I will be giving this up soon to move to part time, and it will be much harder than I thought it would be to walk away from. 5 years ago I was just starting nursing school and less than 3 years in the field I was running my own outpatient infusion clinic. I would never have guessed that I would go from trying to figure out how to take blood pressure with a manual sphygmometer to administering $30K infusion medications without another soul in the clinic.
I know there are countless other things to add to the list and it will continue to grow as life evolves, but damn if life isnt very very different from what I would have guessed it to be at age 30. God knows what things I thought I would never do will come to pass by 40. Hopefully it doesn't involve voting Republican or getting really into Jazz music. But then again, I have been wrong before.
- First and foremost: baby. I was definitely NOT having one of those at age 30. Honestly I felt very strongly that way until 34. Truthfully, 34 and up to the point when the positive pregnancy test rolled in. It was a lifestyle I was not comfortable with and entailed changes that I could not envision myself making (and still have a hard time with in all honesty). Gone are the days of quick runs to the store, last minute happy hour plans, and sleeping in on weekends. I am okay with it, but I will miss it all terribly.
- Cloth diapering. I thought this was the realm of hippies and involved all manner of safety pins and patience beyond my imagining. It still will never be 'easy' like disposables, but it also wont be nearly as hard as I thought. I will try to remember that the first time I have to wash a batch of poopy diapers.
- Owning a lawnmower that runs on pre-gas powered tech. I used to see them in Archie comics and in old television shows and think how archaic and inefficient. Then we researched and bought a push mower and I think how much easier it is not having to deal with gasoline, oil, and the noise and pollutants that come with. Not for every type of lawn, but works great for ours. Still, never thought I would own one.
- Pickling. Speaking of gardening, I now pickle things. Something I pictured mostly happened in communes and farms. Did not see that one coming.
- Running my own clinic. I will be giving this up soon to move to part time, and it will be much harder than I thought it would be to walk away from. 5 years ago I was just starting nursing school and less than 3 years in the field I was running my own outpatient infusion clinic. I would never have guessed that I would go from trying to figure out how to take blood pressure with a manual sphygmometer to administering $30K infusion medications without another soul in the clinic.
I know there are countless other things to add to the list and it will continue to grow as life evolves, but damn if life isnt very very different from what I would have guessed it to be at age 30. God knows what things I thought I would never do will come to pass by 40. Hopefully it doesn't involve voting Republican or getting really into Jazz music. But then again, I have been wrong before.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
checking in from the fringe
Having a baby is difficult. Not that that should surprise anyone who has ever had one. Hell, we 'knew'
(or at least heard) that going in, but nothing quite prepares you for it.
I didn't think that, without a job intervening, sleep deprivation would be much of an issue. There are two of us after all. I was horribly wrong in this assumption.
It doesn't hit you all at once either. The first few days are difficult, but you manage on pure adrenaline. Then the next week or so you actually feel pretty good (provided things are generally going well) before the crash occurs. The past week I have felt alternately weary, achy, easily frustrated, and generally kind of like I have the flu. I realize this is neither unique nor unexpected, but it does add a degree of difficulty to pretty much everything. I laughed when Josh (a good friend who just had a baby) talked about how his 'to-do' list went from lengthy and a measure of some accomplished pride to a much more abbreviated form. I do the same. I used to mark of things in quick succession, and now I feel pretty damned accomplished if I mow the lawn and run to the store in the same day. Every task becomes a coordinated effort or does not happen at all.
And time starts to slip on you as well. Monday blurs into Tuesday and then you wake up on Friday and can't remember how that happened. We keep careful track of feedings, diaper changes, and medications not because we are obsessive, but because we would have no idea what time he last ate (provided he didn't remind us, which he does), shat, or had a clean diaper. You find yourself eating breakfast at noon not because you couldn't muster up the energy to make it at 9, but rather because you didnt get to sleep until 5:30 and didnt manage to get up until 6 hours thereafter.
Things begin to accumulate in piles everywhere. A week's worth of opened mail here, some packing materials over there. That table that you just cleared off yesterday is not heaped with burp rags, binkies, and various baby-related flotsam. Bottles line the counters either drying or assembled and ready for the next round of feeding. Of course, it looks far worse than it is. But with neither the time nor the energy to tidy it all up, it continues its creep forth.
"Sleep when he sleeps" is an oft repeated refrain to cure the ills of deprivation, but it is far easier to say (and it is evidently very easy to say since nearly everyone does) but far less easy to do. When Quinn awakens, it is usually to be fed. Then he needs to be upright for a bit. Then he needs to be changed. Then the bottle needs to be cleaned and Quinn usually needs some time on our persons. Then, by the time you get him back down, you catch a glimpse of your unshowered, unshaved visage with hair that would make Tim Burton look twice. You clean and brush yourself, change, eat, and just get ready to lie down and, you guessed it, feeding time again.
I know this is largely complaint driven. We have been very fortunate to have a healthy baby who is doing well and isn't overly fussy and family and friends who have pledged support when needed. We know we are blessed to have each other as we both work hard to do our share and take up the slack when the other needs a break. We are doing, all things considered, pretty darn well. Still, it isn't easy, and I feel okay in saying that here. I know one day this will be over, Quinn will be able to respond to us and sleep in larger chunks of time. Our lives will return to some semblance of normality and maybe, just maybe, we will look back fondly on this time. But for now, all I can think of is curling up in bed until tomorrow.
(or at least heard) that going in, but nothing quite prepares you for it.
I didn't think that, without a job intervening, sleep deprivation would be much of an issue. There are two of us after all. I was horribly wrong in this assumption.
It doesn't hit you all at once either. The first few days are difficult, but you manage on pure adrenaline. Then the next week or so you actually feel pretty good (provided things are generally going well) before the crash occurs. The past week I have felt alternately weary, achy, easily frustrated, and generally kind of like I have the flu. I realize this is neither unique nor unexpected, but it does add a degree of difficulty to pretty much everything. I laughed when Josh (a good friend who just had a baby) talked about how his 'to-do' list went from lengthy and a measure of some accomplished pride to a much more abbreviated form. I do the same. I used to mark of things in quick succession, and now I feel pretty damned accomplished if I mow the lawn and run to the store in the same day. Every task becomes a coordinated effort or does not happen at all.
And time starts to slip on you as well. Monday blurs into Tuesday and then you wake up on Friday and can't remember how that happened. We keep careful track of feedings, diaper changes, and medications not because we are obsessive, but because we would have no idea what time he last ate (provided he didn't remind us, which he does), shat, or had a clean diaper. You find yourself eating breakfast at noon not because you couldn't muster up the energy to make it at 9, but rather because you didnt get to sleep until 5:30 and didnt manage to get up until 6 hours thereafter.
Things begin to accumulate in piles everywhere. A week's worth of opened mail here, some packing materials over there. That table that you just cleared off yesterday is not heaped with burp rags, binkies, and various baby-related flotsam. Bottles line the counters either drying or assembled and ready for the next round of feeding. Of course, it looks far worse than it is. But with neither the time nor the energy to tidy it all up, it continues its creep forth.
"Sleep when he sleeps" is an oft repeated refrain to cure the ills of deprivation, but it is far easier to say (and it is evidently very easy to say since nearly everyone does) but far less easy to do. When Quinn awakens, it is usually to be fed. Then he needs to be upright for a bit. Then he needs to be changed. Then the bottle needs to be cleaned and Quinn usually needs some time on our persons. Then, by the time you get him back down, you catch a glimpse of your unshowered, unshaved visage with hair that would make Tim Burton look twice. You clean and brush yourself, change, eat, and just get ready to lie down and, you guessed it, feeding time again.
I know this is largely complaint driven. We have been very fortunate to have a healthy baby who is doing well and isn't overly fussy and family and friends who have pledged support when needed. We know we are blessed to have each other as we both work hard to do our share and take up the slack when the other needs a break. We are doing, all things considered, pretty darn well. Still, it isn't easy, and I feel okay in saying that here. I know one day this will be over, Quinn will be able to respond to us and sleep in larger chunks of time. Our lives will return to some semblance of normality and maybe, just maybe, we will look back fondly on this time. But for now, all I can think of is curling up in bed until tomorrow.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Potpourri
I remember when I used to watch Jeopardy they often had Potpourri as a category, which was kind of a mishmash of random non-thematic questions. I figured it was a good title for a mishmash of random odds and bits. Unfortunately, my ability to string together cohesion on the amount of sleep I have been getting is low. So, potpourri it is.
- I used to understand time differently. There was morning, noon, and night. There was breakfast, lunchtime, and dinner time. There was bed time. Now, of course, I only know two kinds of time and will for at least a little while. Feeding time and the time until the next feeding. It is exhausting and disorienting. Days kind of blur together, the edges no longer solidified in any meaningful way. Even when we are out, it is hard to remember how long it has been since we got home and how old Quinn is now. Still, after our doc apt today (the third since discharge) when we got the results that he is doing well, gaining weight, and growing.....it all feels worthwhile. Amazing when I think back to a little more than a week ago we were feeding him with a 1mL insulin syringe.
- I realize I haven't had the chance to post since we got home. We stayed in the hospital until Thursday and thankfully we had Tia's baby shower the day Quinn was born where we got a lot of the things we ended up needing. Tia's workmates also chipped in to get us a car seat and her boss was kind enough to deliver it so we could bring the little guy home. We definitely were not ready just yet. Had he waited just one more week, we would have gotten there. Oh well, gotta roll with the punches. Quinn didn't give us much choice.
- We have officially survived one week on our own. Tia and I have been working very well together, trying to balance the roles and our efforts. Giving each other time when we need to. It doesn't make it easy, but it makes it doable. How people do this on their own is beyond me. I would be a mess. And this with a little one who really doesn't cry of fuss much at all without a very distinct reason (hungry, wet, or pick me up seem to be the three reasons). That said, we have both been christened with spit up and urine. It is a learning curve.
- People have been asking how our cats are dealing with the new addition. Well, as you can see from the pic, pretty well. They really do not care. At all. I think they might even like it because we are home so much more than before. They might not get the focused attention they used to, but they certainly get it in more total volume.
- I heard from my supervisor today (one of the 2 charges at my hospital site) and she is evidently moving on to work for our old boss in Labor & Delivery. She leaves the Friday prior to my return. Will be a huge hole to fill. She had her flaws (we all do), but was honestly a nice person, easy to work with, and exceptionally skilled. Will definitely miss her.
- As for my own job saga, I am hearing rumors the Park gig is mine and there are certainly allusions indicating it as such, but I am certainly not overflowing with confidence about it. Until I get an official offer, I can't count on it. However, life will be a WHOLE lot easier once that happens. Will be a crazily fortuitous turn of events. Keep em crossed for me.
- Bought a new car today. It was a fairly typical experience......meaning not wonderful. Thankfully, Tia is a hard ass negotiator and I am getting there as well. I certainly have no more tolerance for bullshit, something car dealers have excesses of. We ended up getting a Kia Forte EX hatchback. It is a really nice car for the price. When you are looking for a car around $15K, you certainly don't expect blue tooth, USB & I-pod connectivity, steering wheel mounted controls, and a decently peppy ride to boot. Our big goals were high gas mileage (check: 27/36), enough room for a car seat (yep), and some utility (hatchback). I think we hit them all.
We started the process test driving a used 2012 model with 15K for about $15K (14,900). It was really nice and fit our goals, but I looked at the paper and they were selling new sedan models at another dealership (Broadway Kia) for $14,721. It wasn't the color/interior we wanted, but it would have a more robust warranty and it costs less. We took this back to Dick Hannah to try to negotiate on the used model. They wouldn't budge and refused to believe the price (it was in an ad in the Oregonian with specific vin numbers). We then went through an overlong process of looking at, and ultimately not finding common ground on at Hyundai Elantra (they wanted north of $17,500). We went home and Tia called Tonkin in Gladstone. They said they could do the sedan for $14,700 to earn our business (turned out to be $14,799 by the way). They also had a hatchback for "$600-$800 more." Well, we got there and decided we preferred the hatch, they came back with a price of $16,900. I pointed out that, MSRP, it is $500 for a hatchback over the sedan (evidently news to the salesperson) and we went and looked at the MSRPs. Back to the manager. New quote: $15,900. Below invoice (even with holdbacks, but that doesnt count kickbacks for volume plus their need to move 2012 models). Still a no. We finally agree on just shy of $15,600.
Then we go to sign the papers, and the internet is down. Quinn is starting to fuss. They go across the street to print them out. We go to sign and, surprise surprise, they (for our convenience) added an extended warranty (beyond the 5/60K bumper to bumper and 10/100K powertrain that is standard) for $2400 and gap coverage for another $500. We decline. They try to negotiate it with us (what about $500 for the extended warranty instead?"). Not happening. Also, no on the gap since we are financing far less than the car is worth, gap coverage is UTTERLY pointless and something you can get (if you want/need it) from your own insurance company for a LOT less. Then they try to sell us a package of oil changes (20 for $249) because "you need to change the oil every 3000-3500 miles." I point out that the manual states every 7500 miles and that no new car requires it more than every 5000 miles and there is no point in prepaying for oil changes until the car has 150,000 miles on it. He tries to tell me that Oregon falls under 'extreme weather' so you can't wait 7500 miles. I point out that is ridiculous and utterly untrue as we have no extreme heat nor cold here and I am going to guess that Kia (who makes the effing car) knows more than he does. He then tries to explain it further to me because I am "not understanding" what he is saying. I want to punch him. We then have to wait for new paperwork that removes all the crap we didn't want, ask for, nor have explained/offered to us and finally leave with the car at the price we agreed upon. This is why buying cars sucks.
Addendum: Got a call from the dealership today. Evidently they cannot combine one of the incentives with the 2.9% rate.........and instead will need to revise to a 3.9% rate. After a few calls (and threats on our part to just give the damn car back) they agreed to further reduce the price to mitigate the difference. They are also driving out to us to sign the paperwork since the dealership is in Gladstone. I hate car buying!
But, yay for a healthy baby boy! :)
- I realize I haven't had the chance to post since we got home. We stayed in the hospital until Thursday and thankfully we had Tia's baby shower the day Quinn was born where we got a lot of the things we ended up needing. Tia's workmates also chipped in to get us a car seat and her boss was kind enough to deliver it so we could bring the little guy home. We definitely were not ready just yet. Had he waited just one more week, we would have gotten there. Oh well, gotta roll with the punches. Quinn didn't give us much choice.
- We have officially survived one week on our own. Tia and I have been working very well together, trying to balance the roles and our efforts. Giving each other time when we need to. It doesn't make it easy, but it makes it doable. How people do this on their own is beyond me. I would be a mess. And this with a little one who really doesn't cry of fuss much at all without a very distinct reason (hungry, wet, or pick me up seem to be the three reasons). That said, we have both been christened with spit up and urine. It is a learning curve.
- People have been asking how our cats are dealing with the new addition. Well, as you can see from the pic, pretty well. They really do not care. At all. I think they might even like it because we are home so much more than before. They might not get the focused attention they used to, but they certainly get it in more total volume.
- I heard from my supervisor today (one of the 2 charges at my hospital site) and she is evidently moving on to work for our old boss in Labor & Delivery. She leaves the Friday prior to my return. Will be a huge hole to fill. She had her flaws (we all do), but was honestly a nice person, easy to work with, and exceptionally skilled. Will definitely miss her.
- As for my own job saga, I am hearing rumors the Park gig is mine and there are certainly allusions indicating it as such, but I am certainly not overflowing with confidence about it. Until I get an official offer, I can't count on it. However, life will be a WHOLE lot easier once that happens. Will be a crazily fortuitous turn of events. Keep em crossed for me.
- Bought a new car today. It was a fairly typical experience......meaning not wonderful. Thankfully, Tia is a hard ass negotiator and I am getting there as well. I certainly have no more tolerance for bullshit, something car dealers have excesses of. We ended up getting a Kia Forte EX hatchback. It is a really nice car for the price. When you are looking for a car around $15K, you certainly don't expect blue tooth, USB & I-pod connectivity, steering wheel mounted controls, and a decently peppy ride to boot. Our big goals were high gas mileage (check: 27/36), enough room for a car seat (yep), and some utility (hatchback). I think we hit them all.
We started the process test driving a used 2012 model with 15K for about $15K (14,900). It was really nice and fit our goals, but I looked at the paper and they were selling new sedan models at another dealership (Broadway Kia) for $14,721. It wasn't the color/interior we wanted, but it would have a more robust warranty and it costs less. We took this back to Dick Hannah to try to negotiate on the used model. They wouldn't budge and refused to believe the price (it was in an ad in the Oregonian with specific vin numbers). We then went through an overlong process of looking at, and ultimately not finding common ground on at Hyundai Elantra (they wanted north of $17,500). We went home and Tia called Tonkin in Gladstone. They said they could do the sedan for $14,700 to earn our business (turned out to be $14,799 by the way). They also had a hatchback for "$600-$800 more." Well, we got there and decided we preferred the hatch, they came back with a price of $16,900. I pointed out that, MSRP, it is $500 for a hatchback over the sedan (evidently news to the salesperson) and we went and looked at the MSRPs. Back to the manager. New quote: $15,900. Below invoice (even with holdbacks, but that doesnt count kickbacks for volume plus their need to move 2012 models). Still a no. We finally agree on just shy of $15,600.
Then we go to sign the papers, and the internet is down. Quinn is starting to fuss. They go across the street to print them out. We go to sign and, surprise surprise, they (for our convenience) added an extended warranty (beyond the 5/60K bumper to bumper and 10/100K powertrain that is standard) for $2400 and gap coverage for another $500. We decline. They try to negotiate it with us (what about $500 for the extended warranty instead?"). Not happening. Also, no on the gap since we are financing far less than the car is worth, gap coverage is UTTERLY pointless and something you can get (if you want/need it) from your own insurance company for a LOT less. Then they try to sell us a package of oil changes (20 for $249) because "you need to change the oil every 3000-3500 miles." I point out that the manual states every 7500 miles and that no new car requires it more than every 5000 miles and there is no point in prepaying for oil changes until the car has 150,000 miles on it. He tries to tell me that Oregon falls under 'extreme weather' so you can't wait 7500 miles. I point out that is ridiculous and utterly untrue as we have no extreme heat nor cold here and I am going to guess that Kia (who makes the effing car) knows more than he does. He then tries to explain it further to me because I am "not understanding" what he is saying. I want to punch him. We then have to wait for new paperwork that removes all the crap we didn't want, ask for, nor have explained/offered to us and finally leave with the car at the price we agreed upon. This is why buying cars sucks.
Addendum: Got a call from the dealership today. Evidently they cannot combine one of the incentives with the 2.9% rate.........and instead will need to revise to a 3.9% rate. After a few calls (and threats on our part to just give the damn car back) they agreed to further reduce the price to mitigate the difference. They are also driving out to us to sign the paperwork since the dealership is in Gladstone. I hate car buying!
But, yay for a healthy baby boy! :)
Monday, July 09, 2012
Baby!
What a crazy night and completely and totally unexpected. Tia's baby shower (which was amazing, we are truly fortunate to have so many wonderful friends and family) ended at about 5. By 530, Tia was feeling nauseous. By 6 she was vomiting. By 8 we were on our way to the hospital for, presumably, hydration. By 930, the baby was experiencing rapid decelerations (caused by stress from the lack of blood flow through the umbilical cord). By 10 she was being wheeled in to an emergency C-section under general anesthesia. At 1008, our baby came out into the world while I watched through a small window because I wasn't let into the surgical suite. Everything gets fuzzy after that.
But, at the moment, Tia is recovering at Sunnyside, our son is at St. Vincent's hospital, and I am putting together an overnight bag and heading towards St. Vincent's. Our son was transferred by ambulance at about 1am and Tia should be transferred (also by ambulance) at some point today once they have space for us. Hopefully, at some point tonite, we will all be together. For now, I am just happy everyone is okay.
5lbs 14ounces. 18.75" inches long. Good APGAR score of 9/10.
So much for the baby classes/breathing exercises though. Ah, the best laid plans.
But, at the moment, Tia is recovering at Sunnyside, our son is at St. Vincent's hospital, and I am putting together an overnight bag and heading towards St. Vincent's. Our son was transferred by ambulance at about 1am and Tia should be transferred (also by ambulance) at some point today once they have space for us. Hopefully, at some point tonite, we will all be together. For now, I am just happy everyone is okay.
5lbs 14ounces. 18.75" inches long. Good APGAR score of 9/10.
So much for the baby classes/breathing exercises though. Ah, the best laid plans.
Tuesday, July 03, 2012
One more month
Despite it seeming like it is taking a LONG time to arrive,
the countdown to the kiddo is progressing along as it should. It wasn’t without a bit of internal terror
that I realized, OMG its July! Tonight
we have our antepenultimate baby class which culminates on the 9th,
and Tia has her personal and work baby showers over the course of the next
week. Then it is pretty much time to
pack an overnight bag and wait for the kiddo to decide he is ready to come out
and say hello.
It is weird the things you think about/forget about with a
baby coming. For instance, the other day
I thought that we really should plan our fall/winter vacation so we have
something to look forward to when the winter comes and then, very shortly
thereafter, I remembered that we would have a newborn and caring for him might
preclude a sunny jaunt down to Mexico . This will clearly take some getting used
to.
Not much else new to report since my last post. Just plowing through the list of items we are
hoping to have completed by the time baby comes if only because it seems
unlikely we will have the time, energy, or mental capacity to undertake them
once he arrives. To that end, we
finished up the stairwell painting (a pretty amazing feet considering the
height of the wall above the stairs), got the garden and weeding mostly under
control (the latter is a losing battle, but I continue to soldier on so our
yard doesn’t look like, well, our neighbor’s yard honestly). We have so far gotten a pretty good yield of
salad greens, scallions, and zucchini, though our beets are not looking too
hot, our carrots are mostly pretty miniature, and our tomatoes have grown
gigantic but are not yet ripening. This
will be a good learning experience going into the next summer (like don’t plant
zucchini near ANYTHING else…..it gets way too large) and it has proven pretty
enjoyable/cathartic. Plus, next year, I
won’t have to haul back 100 wheelbarrow’s full of dirt!
Just waiting on my last patient. I won’t say anything about her (lest I
violate HIPPA) but she is funded by the Oregon Health Plan. I mention this because she was upset the
other day about the Supreme Court saying that Obamacare (or whatever you want
to call it) was legal and could move forward.
I don’t know the specific details of the plan, so I cannot say with any
certainty that it going to be a panacea for the health care system or an
albatross, but I believe it represents an important step forward. I say this having seen so many people without
health care come through the hospital who would have benefitted from access to
preventative health care, but use the ER instead because they cannot be refused
treatment (at that point, they are usually in a much worse position). But, I find it ironic that someone who only
has health care because of a publicly funded option (and in my opinion abuses
it), is opposed to health care as a publicly funded option for everyone
else. I just really hope she can’t (or
at least doesn’t) vote.
Off to baby class.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Choose another 'path'
Tia told me the other day that my blogs read kind of
negatively. I don’t see it that way, but
evidently she does and, I assume, maybe others do as well. It isn’t my intent and certainly not some
condemnation of my life at present. I
just generally write about things I feel strongly about, whether they be
extremely good or not so good. The
major gist is, this isn’t a painting of my life as a whole, but rather a series
of snapshots. Because honestly, who
wants to hear about the generalities and mendacity that make up a stereotypical
day?
On to actual events, there is some seemingly exceedingly
positive news; we have found a daycare.
We went to 3 in-home sites and found one that had the right combination
of safety, location, price and mission.
The first place we visited was also very promising, but all things being
equal we didn’t see anything that made it worth nearly 25% more per month. It is still not ‘cheap’ but it is
comparatively reasonable. The only two
high comedy watermarks came at the only center we visited (and walked quickly
out of as it appeared to be run by the homeless and what appeared to be an
amalgamation of every late middle aged woman you see on ‘Hoarders’) and at the
last in-home care we saw.
The last place had a wildly different POV on parenting,
largely in their refusal to negate anything.
In our hour we saw the woman who runs the place’s daughter pick up an
ink pen. Her mother gave her the option
(or ‘path’ in her speak) of putting the pen in her cubby or giving it to her mother. She chose neither, opting instead to write on
the wall. The presented another series
of ‘paths’ to redirect her from drawing on the wall and led to her drawing on
her dress. That failing, she was given 2
other paths and, you guessed it, chose to start drawing on her body. Then we had to sit and talk about the place
after our tour, and while other care centers introduced us to the kids, took us
on a tour, and then brought us somewhere to discuss and ask questions, she
chose the ‘path’ of having most of the kids climb on her like a jungle gym and
interrupt her every sentence. Meanwhile
her assistant did nothing to ‘redirect’ them elsewhere. I envisioned Tia and I having to spend every
night trying to undo the learning each day.
Honest to god, it was like being on a bad blind date. You show up and the other person launches
into diatribe lifted from Fox news and you know instantly you need to extricate
yourself, but end up sitting through dinner because you can’t figure out a
polite way to do so. It is an hour I
will never get back, but at least it provided some interesting stories. And for that, we thank you.
We also have finally finished our nursery. Once we get a car seat, we will be
‘unofficially’ done buying stuff (or getting stuff as the case may be). I am very pleased with how it came out. Tia and I had to be creative to get it to
work within budget and special thanks to everyone who sent us Dr. Seuss books,
to Diane for the Cat in the Hat clock and lampshade, and to My mom’s friend Rhonda for the beautiful hand made Cat in the
Hat blanket.
As for work, well that just gets stickier and stickier and I
am finding it difficult to remain above the morass. They approved the position here and will be
posting it “soon” per my supervisor.
However, the position at the Park remains murky. If the charge there, KV, opts to cut back her
schedule to 4 days a week (per her, she was just hoping to do every other
Thursday), they may post the position there as a .8 instead of a .6. This obviously could prove troublesome from a
childcare perspective, though we could probably still make it work 3 days a
week. Honestly, my major concern is when
the hell they are going to post it. The
only upside (and it isn’t a huge one) is I have not put my notice in in any
shape or form, so they can’t just get rid of me until that occurs and if that
were to happen I could collect unemployment at that point, possibly mitigating
the need to have childcare initially.
But again, WTF!?!? The next step
is evidently KV contacting our actual supervisor, interim as she may be,
instead of the nurse exec at her site who is not in fact her boss. Then, once Janine gets that info, they can in
theory move ahead in whichever manner they are deciding to. I always have the option of on call, and may
need to avail myself of it, but it is increasingly frustrating that they show
me one thing (the part time job they have been talking about since at least
February) and then continue to dangle it far out of reach.
And so the story goes……..
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Pendulum
Life is pendulous. If
you are lucky, it isn’t swinging like a metronome at 4 beats per and you get to
spend more time in the calm center and not the furthest swings. However, sometimes self induced and sometimes
external, there are times when you spend a little too much time out on the
periphery. Great when you are on a high,
less so when you are not. Lately, I have
not been.
There are myriad reasons why this is so, and nary a one of
them is cataclysmic. I realize that I am
very fortunate to have a job I can tolerate and sometimes even like, a loving
wife, and a good relationship with friends and family. It is the constant uncertainty that is
undermining my general sense of wellbeing.
The damndest part of that is that there really is no end in sight.
There is still no timeline on when they are going to post
out for my current position and, therefore, no timeline on when they might post
out for the position at the Park. This
is due in large part to there being no timeline for hiring a Director and,
therefore, no timeline for that person to then hire a manager. What there is a timeline for however, is the
baby. Whether or not they figure out any
of the above, the baby is coming, and I am dead certain he isn’t interested in
the politics at my job nor the difficulty in finding childcare that is willing
to work around the notion that we will need 3 days a week, we just aren’t
exactly sure what three days those will be (and evidently it isn’t illuminating
to say ‘not Saturday and Sunday’).
Of course, clarifying one issue might lead to a bevy of
other ones. Should I find myself down at
the Park in due time, there is the question of having a vehicle. While my in-laws have been nothing if not
wonderful about providing us their little used second car, it is not something
that Tia or I feel comfortable putting a baby seat into. Plus there is the fact that it takes premium
fuel and gets no better than 13 miles to the gallon on average. Still, it would take a lot of fill ups to
equal another ride and, until we get settled into some more permanent work
situations, it is an amazing luxury to have for the time being.
The only other issue going on at the moment (for me anyway)
is my damned allergies. I am now on
enough medications that I can easily breathe out of my nose a majority of the
time, but it is also enough that I feel perpetually exhausted and wrung
out. I am not sleeping so much as
passing out evidently and am not sure what to do to fix it. Plus, with the addition of the steroids, I
have the added benefit of sweating like I just crossed the finish line at a 5K
every time I move overmuch. I am going
to have to start wearing headbands like Lebron so I don’t drip on anyone if
this keeps up. But, again, I can
breathe. So, there is that.
The upshot is that, eventually, it looks like I will get my
wish to cut to part time; just the when and the where need to be figured. And, eventually, we will get child care
figured out, though again it might not put us in an ideal situation from the
jump like we would prefer. And, one
would assume that eventually the allergies will have to recede back like the
tide and I can go back to just a few antihistamines (a few daily anyway) and find
some kind of stasis until the shots finally (hopefully) take effect.
Until all of that happens though………ugh. Wake me when its over.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Kool-Aid
Sometimes life is just
overwhelming. You tend to lose perspective
and get swallowed up inside of it.
Working in a hospital helps, because there is always someone in worse
straits…generally in the very next room you go into (though, at my hospital,
many of these situations are self imposed).
Still, it is hard not to let stress eat at you.
Tia’s job seems to be,
finally, settling in. Nothing is 100%,
but the odds are in her favor that she will be retained at 80%. My job continues to be somewhat of a mystery,
but it is looking more and more like the plan is to hire someone full time for
the clinic, have me train them, and then me moving to a part time position at
the Park. This isn’t ideal, but it will
work…you know, if it in fact happens.
Until I see a job posted and I apply and am accepted in, I take nothing
as a guarantee. I have seen enough
working to know that everyone is expendable.
However, I do get the impression that they are TRYING to make it work
for me, which is heartening. Still, my
stomach is doing backflips while I wait to see what actually happens.
Tia’s pregnancy is still
moving along just about how it should except for some edematous extremities,
but thankfully it is just retention and not the dreaded preeclampsia. Her reflux is under better control and she
has been, though in fits and starts, sleeping a bit more than she was (though a
lot less than she would prefer).
The house remodel continues
its somewhat lurching forward momentum.
Feels like 2 steps forward, 1 step back all the time. We finally get the walls down, but it creates
so much mess that it takes a full day to clear it. Then we start painting and everything is a
mess again. And the list goes on and on
and on. If we aren’t trundling loads of
dirt and rock by wheelbarrow, assembling poorly drilled out and vaguely
directed pieces of Swedish furniture, or painting, digging, or pressure
cleaning something…..well, it must be a weekday. And while there is no ‘clock’ per se, we are
kind of trying to finish it all before August when the kiddo will be making his
entrance and anything unfinished will likely stay that way for the conceivable
future.
The newest new thing was
seemingly simple and ultimately not at all.
We had to cut a piece of granite.
However, it wasn’t a straight cut….it had to be notched. So, we bring it to have it cut with a
template included. Tia calls later that
day to say that they cut the finished end and then had to re-finish it (it is
bull nosed). Then, I evidently wrote the
wrong measurement (though the physical template was correct) and they cut it to
my measure (my fault, but annoying they didn’t stop to ask why the template and
the measurements didn’t match…and erred on the side of cutting too much rather
than too little). So, as I write this
our contractor (who has been nothing if not spectacularly helpful and brutally
efficient, truly exemplary) is trying to fix all the above to make it work
while not looking like someone tried to fix it to make it work. Should be interesting. I will say this, if he can’t make it happen,
I have a hard time envisioning someone else could.
As a side bar this is the
stated policy of the granite place.
Tia: We need to get a piece
of granite cut, can you do that?
GP (granite place): Yes, for
$75. But, if it isn’t our granite, we
can’t promise you we won’t crack it/break it.
Tia: Um, so if that happens,
do you replace it?
GP: No
Tia: Are we still expected to
pay for it?
GP: Yes, because we are charging you for our time
to cut it.
If you go to a restaurant,
and they burn your medium rare filet, you would ask that either they give you a
new one or not charge you anything. You
would be incredulous if they said something to the effect of, “too bad” and
expected you to pay for the time they spent effing up your meal. Suffice to say we would not have paid and
they would have just inherited a now broken piece of granite.
We also had an exterminator
out recently to deal with what can only be called an ant infestation at this
point. We tried out some store bought
spray, but to no avail. Now, our bathtub
looks like an ant version of Kool-Aid day at the Jim Jones cult every time we
walk in the bathroom. Kind of gross, but
at least we know its working.
The last bitching I will do
is about Short Term Disability (STD).
Evidently, short term disability covers you after childbirth (just the
birther of course). Tia’s starts after
30 days @ 50% of her salary. For a vaginal birth you are eligible for 6 weeks
and for a c-section 8. Our thought was
this: Days 1-30 we would use Tia’s sick and vacation time. Then 6 weeks of 50% pay followed by 2 weeks
of no pay. What we found out is that the
‘clock’ for disability starts the day the kid is born. So, she will get 4 weeks of sick/vacation pay
(or whatever of that she has to cover with) followed by 2 weeks of STD
(covering you from day 31-44) and then NADA/ZIP/ZERO for the last 6 weeks. Damn it!
As for the good things, well
we are still employed. We still have
lots of friends and family who continue to be overwhelmingly generous with
gifts for our kiddo. We still have a
house that we love and the three best cats you could want (even with the
obvious drawback of a cat we refer to half-lovingly as the ‘vomit comet’). And, through it all, we still have each other
(and generally are pretty happy with that arrangement).
Here is to a better
week. Until then……only 3 more childcare
centers to visit.
Post Script: Got home and damned if the granite didn't turn out pretty well. Our contractor is good.
Monday, June 11, 2012
If this ride doesn't stop soon, I think I am going to vomit
Ah work. The perpetual miasma of indecision and misdirection. I spoke
with one of my supervisors in the morning on Tuesday and she told me 'we
are probably going to look at closing the clinic in August when you go
on leave'. She did not mean temporarily while I was out, she meant
permanently. The demands of staffing it when I am gone, the fact that I
do not want to work full time when I get back, and the fact that we
hemorrhage money month to month coalesced into the perfect shit storm.
So, I called Tia to tell her the news. My options, as they were, are to
see if MP ends up posting a part time gig (still possible, but still not
concrete) or working on-call. The advantage of on call is the bump in
pay (and extra 10% hourly) and increased flexibility. The disadvantages
are being the first ones flexed, having nothing guaranteed, and being
required to go to any number of sites to work. So, not ideal really,
but passable.
Skipping ahead to later in the day, the script gets totally flipped.
Evidently the long awaited financial report finally came through and,
shockingly/mysteriously we actually are profitable. In fact, per this
report (of which I have yet to see) we are VERY profitable, especially
when you consider the size of the operation. So now the discussion
isn't how quickly we can close it, but whether or not we should be
posting the full time gig here and getting someone trained before I
leave the full time position in October and, by the way, maybe finally
adding an additional part time position 3 days a week (which may itself
become full time). So, now I could possibly even stay here.
Of course the reality is no one has any idea what the plan is. I have a
meeting with the nurse exec next week that will hopefully illuminate
that somewhat. That is the hope anyway. Since we still have no
director and the manager role won't be filled until the director is
hired, has time to settle in, and then post the position, interview the
candidates and select from amongst them....lets just say nothing is
imminent. The big issue for me is that we seem to be so fixated on A or
B, without ever considering C. Why not just open it part time and see
what happens? Honestly, that isn't likely to prove disruptive to a vast
majority of our patients and they would not have to change anything at
the moment......and could reevaluate the clinic once whoever they put in
the management positions have time to evaluate it.
This of course not only affects our financial bottom line, but really
impairs our ability to determine a good plan for the kiddo. How do we
reserve a spot anywhere when we can't say how often we will need the
care? How to we figure out if we can manage with one car, or need a
second? The whole thing is a GD mess. I hope that things clear up by
next week. If not, just close it and let me collect unemployment and
take care of the kiddo for awhile. Then we can all be happy :)
with one of my supervisors in the morning on Tuesday and she told me 'we
are probably going to look at closing the clinic in August when you go
on leave'. She did not mean temporarily while I was out, she meant
permanently. The demands of staffing it when I am gone, the fact that I
do not want to work full time when I get back, and the fact that we
hemorrhage money month to month coalesced into the perfect shit storm.
So, I called Tia to tell her the news. My options, as they were, are to
see if MP ends up posting a part time gig (still possible, but still not
concrete) or working on-call. The advantage of on call is the bump in
pay (and extra 10% hourly) and increased flexibility. The disadvantages
are being the first ones flexed, having nothing guaranteed, and being
required to go to any number of sites to work. So, not ideal really,
but passable.
Skipping ahead to later in the day, the script gets totally flipped.
Evidently the long awaited financial report finally came through and,
shockingly/mysteriously we actually are profitable. In fact, per this
report (of which I have yet to see) we are VERY profitable, especially
when you consider the size of the operation. So now the discussion
isn't how quickly we can close it, but whether or not we should be
posting the full time gig here and getting someone trained before I
leave the full time position in October and, by the way, maybe finally
adding an additional part time position 3 days a week (which may itself
become full time). So, now I could possibly even stay here.
Of course the reality is no one has any idea what the plan is. I have a
meeting with the nurse exec next week that will hopefully illuminate
that somewhat. That is the hope anyway. Since we still have no
director and the manager role won't be filled until the director is
hired, has time to settle in, and then post the position, interview the
candidates and select from amongst them....lets just say nothing is
imminent. The big issue for me is that we seem to be so fixated on A or
B, without ever considering C. Why not just open it part time and see
what happens? Honestly, that isn't likely to prove disruptive to a vast
majority of our patients and they would not have to change anything at
the moment......and could reevaluate the clinic once whoever they put in
the management positions have time to evaluate it.
This of course not only affects our financial bottom line, but really
impairs our ability to determine a good plan for the kiddo. How do we
reserve a spot anywhere when we can't say how often we will need the
care? How to we figure out if we can manage with one car, or need a
second? The whole thing is a GD mess. I hope that things clear up by
next week. If not, just close it and let me collect unemployment and
take care of the kiddo for awhile. Then we can all be happy :)
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Everybody working for the weekend
There is just something luxuriant about a long weekend. So much so that Tia and I opted to extend it
a little further by taking off Friday as well.
It was the first weekend in some time that I can remember really relaxing,
in between all the projects and errands we lately find ourselves embroiled
in. Of course, we did some of those
too.
Friday was a spa day.
Started with some chouquettes (an eggy donut-like pastry topped withsugar)
and chocolate croissants still soft from the oven from St. Honore. We then ambled down to the spa, where we
soaked our feet, drank tea, and had warm oil scalp massages…followed by 90
minute full body massages. It is a rare treat that we both expect to be
rarer once the baby comes (both because of cost and time). We finished up by dropping off some paint for
recycling and lunching at Grand Central (who have the BEST cowboy cookies you
can buy…second only to the ones Tia makes).
Of course, being us, we then managed to get outside and trim some
hedges, mow the lawn, and otherwise work on house projects.
The rest of the weekend followed a similar pattern, leisure
and work. Of accomplishments and down time. We drove up to the casino (lost a sum total
of less than $10 between the 2 of us), took in a happy hour at Trader Vics (the
most amazing crispy coconut shrimp and some seriously potent Mai Tais), and
made dinner for my in-laws. Also, we
pressure cleaned the driveway and walkways, trimmed every hedge, bush, and
plant in the front yard, weeded, hung shelving, cleaned, registered at Target
for baby stuff, put together a bed frame, bought a mattress and hauled it home,
and ran a smattering of other errands.
We also faced off with my old arch enemy….mulch.
For some reason, mulch ALWAYS misleads me. It seems like each bag should go so much
further, should cover so much more ground.
I had guessed maybe 8 bags of it for the front in between all the plants
(and mind you, it isn’t as though we live on a palatial plantation-like plot of
land) and Tia went ahead and picked up 12, which should SURELY be enough. Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t nearly enough. So, we have one half a finished product and
one half looking better than it did before, but rather less than impressive
comparatively. Damn you mulch!
So, what’s left?
Well, as Tia reminds me always, the projects NEVER end when you own a
home. We still need to paint the
stairway, mulch the other half of the yard, and finish up the back yard’s
planting. Plus, god knows how many other
things I have forgotten. The projects
aren’t all fun, but they are rewarding and I am invested in the outcomes. Still, it is nice to be able to step away now
and again and just do something fun with no real goals or intentions. Now if there were only a few more long
weekends. Preferably every weekend.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Little Talks
It is a curious thing writing
a blog. It serves both as a window
(however draped) into my life and my muddled thoughts and as a diary of sorts
for me to look back on and remember more acutely and possibly more accurately,
the events that have led to this point in time.
It can also be hard to come up with topics to discuss when life can at
times prove fairly rote and, dare I say it, ordinary. This isn’t a bad thing for the purposes of
actual life, as no one really wants to whipsaw from crisis to crisis, but it
can make it hard to document without a degree of tedium shrouding every
word.
While I think it fascinating
that we have put together an actual garden with actual growing things in it, it
doesn’t exactly lend itself to the written page. While I feel accomplished every time I put
together something that works well for our house (our new bench!) or fix
things, it translates poorly here.
Hence, the general lack of new text appearing on this site.
Speaking of tedium, work
remains remarkably staid. Still little
to no help here in the clinic and, conversely, they seem to have little need of
my assistance in the hospital. So, when
the load is light, I am left largely to myself.
Plus, now that wound care is no longer here, I am literally by myself. I suppose I ought not complain about being
paid for being available to work rather than actually working, I can’t help but
feel like I would just as soon be sent home so that I can be productive doing
something else. That said, I suppose we
need the money more now than we need the lawn looking especially well tended
and, much as I would like to have them done, there are few things on the to-do
list that can’t stand to wait another day or week or month. Plus, these are the kind of days that make up
for the ones that you barely get lunch and never get your breaks.
The rumor mill continues to
grind the grist of a dozen conjectures.
They are interviewing someone from Colorado! They have hired someone already! They have 3 viable candidates! They have no viable candidates! We will have a director soon! They are going to hire a manager
instead! They are going to hire both! And on and on they go. As with all else, I will post when events
warrant. Until then, assume like I do
that nothing is in the offing...and you will most likely be correct.
Tia continues to have her
sleep troubles. It has got to be
infuriating knowing that it is just the beginning of such occurrences. Some people say it is the body preparing for
the lack of sleep to come. But, if I
knew I was going to be fasting tomorrow, you can be sure I would eat as much as
possible tonight. I would think the body
would do the same. All I know is that I
feel badly for her. On little sleep, I
am clumsy, grouchy, and overall brain addled.
It is like, well, like most Mondays really.
Saturday, May 05, 2012
Fixing things
There is nothing quite like home ownership to teach you how to fix things. Home ownership + the internet + hardware store = weekend.
This past weekend, we learned all that we could possibly want or need to know about fixing windows including new terms (to me anyway) like balances and sashes. But, after a bit of searching, we fixed a window that had been broken since we moved in with about 10 minutes of work. Then, while Tia was away, I 'Ikea hacked' some Besta furniture and made some custom benches for our former dining area. With the application of some better structural supports and outdoor bench cushions, we now have an awesome window seat with great underneath storage that looks like a built in. Now this weekend our dryer stopped working and, after some more searching, we took the whole damn thing apart and tested the door switch, the thermal fuse, and the starter....all of which of course worked upon testing. Then I put it all back together and, somehow, it worked. I don't know if this counts as 'fixing' it, but Tia's logic is that it didn't work before and it does now, so it counts. At the very least I now know how to take a dryer apart.
We also managed to divest ourselves of some garage clutter. If you have some garage clutter, follow these simple steps: 1. Put item on CL under 'free'. 2. Await responses......lots of them. 3. Get rid of clutter. Truly one person'a trash is another person's treasure (and in our case, most of said trash was left in the garage when we moved here). Eventually, with a little luck, time, and effort we may have an organized garage space...a manicured back yard that cultivates actual food...a complete nursery...and a more usable kitchen. Now if we could just find a little extra time to work on all these things.
No changes at work. Some rumors circulating about a possible new director coming in from Colorado, but it is hard to say if there is any truth behind it. Typically it is little more than talk and certainly there is nothing substantiating it. We shall see.
Speaking of running around, perhaps some food would be a good idea. Now if we could just find the time to make that happen.
This past weekend, we learned all that we could possibly want or need to know about fixing windows including new terms (to me anyway) like balances and sashes. But, after a bit of searching, we fixed a window that had been broken since we moved in with about 10 minutes of work. Then, while Tia was away, I 'Ikea hacked' some Besta furniture and made some custom benches for our former dining area. With the application of some better structural supports and outdoor bench cushions, we now have an awesome window seat with great underneath storage that looks like a built in. Now this weekend our dryer stopped working and, after some more searching, we took the whole damn thing apart and tested the door switch, the thermal fuse, and the starter....all of which of course worked upon testing. Then I put it all back together and, somehow, it worked. I don't know if this counts as 'fixing' it, but Tia's logic is that it didn't work before and it does now, so it counts. At the very least I now know how to take a dryer apart.
We also managed to divest ourselves of some garage clutter. If you have some garage clutter, follow these simple steps: 1. Put item on CL under 'free'. 2. Await responses......lots of them. 3. Get rid of clutter. Truly one person'a trash is another person's treasure (and in our case, most of said trash was left in the garage when we moved here). Eventually, with a little luck, time, and effort we may have an organized garage space...a manicured back yard that cultivates actual food...a complete nursery...and a more usable kitchen. Now if we could just find a little extra time to work on all these things.
No changes at work. Some rumors circulating about a possible new director coming in from Colorado, but it is hard to say if there is any truth behind it. Typically it is little more than talk and certainly there is nothing substantiating it. We shall see.
Speaking of running around, perhaps some food would be a good idea. Now if we could just find the time to make that happen.
Tuesday, May 01, 2012
May Day
These are the times that it is tough to blog. There isn't much of particular note that has changed since my last post. The garden is now actually growing (abetted by the copious Portland rains). The yard is looking more and more like we want it to, instead of just cultivating weeds. The nursery is nearly done (although it has remained nearly done for some time). There are many projects to be done of course, but it is all happening.
As for the baby front, we are now (per the app) about 100 days from sleep becoming a fond memory. Tia continues well (despite the horrendous acid reflux) and things are progressing as they should. We are learning that child care is something that you need to explore prior to even having one. Terms like 'wait list' are omnipresent. And good lord are they expensive. For 5 days a week it looks to be between $1000-$1350/month and about 10-15% per day less. Yikes.
On the work front, little has changed. We still have no boss. The clinic still limps along with just me 4 of the 5 days a week. There are still staffing problems. There is no real forward momentum, though I guess stasis is better than continued deterioration. On the upside, I am still left mostly to my own devices.
I have had opportunity to meet with the COO of finance, though the meeting unfortunately was mostly spent trying to explain what it is we do and offer suggestions on how to best cull the data they are trying to collect. So, in summation, 2 months after meeting with the nurse exec, we are still trying to find a way to collect the data that can begin to determine the financial viability of the clinic. Meanwhile, I saw 3 uninsured and 1 marginally insured patient today. Sigh. I still hope that they will consider a way to keep me around part time come the fall. We shall see (don't worry about what you cannot control). I will post as events warrant.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
My $14K appendix
Okay, I haven't posted in awhile. Largely because nothing major has happened since my surgery and subsequent return to work. Work in fact, remains a curious balance of chaos and indecision and since the meeting between our charge nurses and our de facto (until they hire someone) boss yielded no new information and no leads, we are just kind of floating with the current. I did get a spreadsheet regarding the clinic from my meeting with the nurse exec, but it was utterly incomprehensible and my response to it has yet to yield and reply. They are, however, trying to work out '5 year projections' for all our clinics. To which I have to ask, what about now? What about 5 week or 5 month projections? Sigh.
We got the bill for my surgery. Just a shade under $14K. Thankfully it only ended up costing us $116. Yay for Tia's insurance! Go KP!
I did another thing that I never in my life thought I would do this past few weeks. I spent $272 on dirt and rocks. Not a new tablet computer. Not a weekend away. Not a shopping spree at the mall. Nope, dirt and rocks. 8 cubic yards of em. Then, they all had to be hauled into the back yard, one wheelbarrow at a time. Thankfully, it is starting to really shape up now. After 2 weekends and some help from the moms, our backyard no longer has more weeds than grass. In fact, it now has 5 planter boxes and rock pathways. It has actual plants planted. In a fit of over ebullience, we even managed to rip out all the grass/weeds from our divider and gussy that up with some new plants and gravel. So, also, our backyard now houses a couple cubic yards of plant clippings and weedy sod. Anyone need some compost?
We also have managed to just about finish up the kiddo's room. Painting - check. Furniture - check (chair, dresser/changing table, and crib with mattress). Art/wall hangings - not so much. But, it is coming along. I am pretty sure Tia will post pics.
I am being required to get my WA license now or 'risk having my position terminated by June 1st'. This has thus far involved a $30 fee to verify my current license, a $92 fee for my new license, a fingerprint card that I must find a place to roll my fingers across ($15), and then send those along with a check for $32.50 so they can pay to verify those. So, about $170 for a license to work where we have a small hospital/clinic that I might go to 6 times a year......or get fired. Then it is just $108 annually to keep it up. Sigh again.
Well, as the day is startlingly flying, I probably ought to take advantage of the last few hours of light. I have a big day involving me: fasting, doing a barium swallow study, and later fingerprinting and then work. Oh yeah, and then a 2 hour meeting with our financial adviser. Maybe I should just go to sleep now.
We got the bill for my surgery. Just a shade under $14K. Thankfully it only ended up costing us $116. Yay for Tia's insurance! Go KP!
I did another thing that I never in my life thought I would do this past few weeks. I spent $272 on dirt and rocks. Not a new tablet computer. Not a weekend away. Not a shopping spree at the mall. Nope, dirt and rocks. 8 cubic yards of em. Then, they all had to be hauled into the back yard, one wheelbarrow at a time. Thankfully, it is starting to really shape up now. After 2 weekends and some help from the moms, our backyard no longer has more weeds than grass. In fact, it now has 5 planter boxes and rock pathways. It has actual plants planted. In a fit of over ebullience, we even managed to rip out all the grass/weeds from our divider and gussy that up with some new plants and gravel. So, also, our backyard now houses a couple cubic yards of plant clippings and weedy sod. Anyone need some compost?
We also have managed to just about finish up the kiddo's room. Painting - check. Furniture - check (chair, dresser/changing table, and crib with mattress). Art/wall hangings - not so much. But, it is coming along. I am pretty sure Tia will post pics.
Well, as the day is startlingly flying, I probably ought to take advantage of the last few hours of light. I have a big day involving me: fasting, doing a barium swallow study, and later fingerprinting and then work. Oh yeah, and then a 2 hour meeting with our financial adviser. Maybe I should just go to sleep now.
Sunday, April 08, 2012
Portland in the 'summer'
I know it isn't summer yet (or really even Spring despite the official designation of such since March 20th), but a few days of sun and, relative, warmth serves as a nice reminder of the things I really like about Portland. Tia and I spent this afternoon on about a 90- minute stroll. In that time we stopped and picked up an iced coffee, wandered through a consignment shop, found a new coffee/pastry place that had just opened, walked past a new non-profit brew pub prepping to open, another one doing brisk business, a quaint little garden store (complete with chickens), and past the Firehouse Restaurant on our way to our new community garden plot which, incidently, sidles up to a great park. This we achieved by walking less than a half mile semicircle from our house going south and west. As much as I cannot stand the weather most of the year, I can't say I have ever lived in another city where I was so near to so much and still living in a residential area. It will be a great summer....you know, if it ever arrives.
I finally got to feel the baby kick. Was really neat, though I don't know how I would feel if it was kicking around inside of me. It is gradually becoming more and more concrete a concept to me now though. 4 more months.
Speaking of 4 more months, I made it through 2 days of work. I thankfully had help, which gave me plenty of time to catch up on paperwork and all the little niggling issues that tend to come up. I was asked to put together a 'clinic survival guide' or sorts as well in case something should again come up that leaves everyone else scrambling (like maybe a baby being born). I thought I would be able to knock it out in an hour or two. But, after over 2 hours and 5+ pages, I am nowhere near finished (though closer than when I started!). Every time I answer once question, it brings up a bevy of additional ones. I am not saying my job is exceedingly difficult (or any more so than anyone's job), but having to break down what you do to accomplish the things that I do to make the clinic run is not easy. You have to think of all the things you take for granted that you do just because that is what you do day in and day out. But, how would I explain it to anyone else who rarely to never does my job? Will be a long process. Of course, this wouldn't be necessary if, at any point ever, my suggestions to train everyone to work in the clinic (a 2-3 day initial rotation and then 1 day a month to keep up skills) were implemented. But, I am going to go ahead and guess that the guide I will end up typing up will probably be the way that people orient themselves. Sigh.
We have started the discussion on childcare though. It is really quite startling just how much will be changing. Determining how many days you want (or can afford) to put a child in daycare is a huge topic of conversation. Do you go with a nanny? What if I work part time? Not at all? What if Tia does either of those? It involves a LOT of guesstimation at this point of course. By August, I might not have a clinic to work at. Or Tia may run out of funding? Or we might win Powerball and retire? But, assuming we don't win any money, we have to figure out how much we can afford to live on, how much the kid will 'cost' on a monthly basis, and where those 2 lines intersect. I know I at least would like to try to be home more than I am at work. I guess we shall see.
Time to finish up dinner and try to push through that thin melancholy that also descends on Sunday evening when you know in your bones another work week is about to begin.
I finally got to feel the baby kick. Was really neat, though I don't know how I would feel if it was kicking around inside of me. It is gradually becoming more and more concrete a concept to me now though. 4 more months.
Speaking of 4 more months, I made it through 2 days of work. I thankfully had help, which gave me plenty of time to catch up on paperwork and all the little niggling issues that tend to come up. I was asked to put together a 'clinic survival guide' or sorts as well in case something should again come up that leaves everyone else scrambling (like maybe a baby being born). I thought I would be able to knock it out in an hour or two. But, after over 2 hours and 5+ pages, I am nowhere near finished (though closer than when I started!). Every time I answer once question, it brings up a bevy of additional ones. I am not saying my job is exceedingly difficult (or any more so than anyone's job), but having to break down what you do to accomplish the things that I do to make the clinic run is not easy. You have to think of all the things you take for granted that you do just because that is what you do day in and day out. But, how would I explain it to anyone else who rarely to never does my job? Will be a long process. Of course, this wouldn't be necessary if, at any point ever, my suggestions to train everyone to work in the clinic (a 2-3 day initial rotation and then 1 day a month to keep up skills) were implemented. But, I am going to go ahead and guess that the guide I will end up typing up will probably be the way that people orient themselves. Sigh.
We have started the discussion on childcare though. It is really quite startling just how much will be changing. Determining how many days you want (or can afford) to put a child in daycare is a huge topic of conversation. Do you go with a nanny? What if I work part time? Not at all? What if Tia does either of those? It involves a LOT of guesstimation at this point of course. By August, I might not have a clinic to work at. Or Tia may run out of funding? Or we might win Powerball and retire? But, assuming we don't win any money, we have to figure out how much we can afford to live on, how much the kid will 'cost' on a monthly basis, and where those 2 lines intersect. I know I at least would like to try to be home more than I am at work. I guess we shall see.
Time to finish up dinner and try to push through that thin melancholy that also descends on Sunday evening when you know in your bones another work week is about to begin.
Wednesday, April 04, 2012
returning
Well, it would appear that tomorrow is the day. I got the go ahead from the doc and got the paperwork to our HR department. Of course, as always, there were issues. The doc put today's date for my return on the form instead of tomorrow's date. Despite my explanation to HR. they needed a 'corrected' date prior to letting me come back. The doctor, mind you, is out in Clackamas and I was back at work to fax it (about 12 miles away). So, I had the option of: A. Driving back out to Clackamas, B. Trying to contact said doc on the phone, fax over the form and have them fax the form back to my HR department (and somehow impart that this needed to be done ASAP) or C. Fix it my damn self and re-fax it. Hmmmm, wonder which choice I went with.
Looks like a busy return date as well with 7 patients on the board. Should be a nice welcome back. It will be good to try to get my legs back under me with 2 days on, then hitting the weekend, before returning for the full week. I haven't heard anything about the future of said clinic at this point, so I will assume at this point that I will be operating it in the same manner as I have been. Wish me luck.
More to come as always.
Looks like a busy return date as well with 7 patients on the board. Should be a nice welcome back. It will be good to try to get my legs back under me with 2 days on, then hitting the weekend, before returning for the full week. I haven't heard anything about the future of said clinic at this point, so I will assume at this point that I will be operating it in the same manner as I have been. Wish me luck.
More to come as always.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Life turns on a dime
I was thinking about how quickly life changes again just the other night as I found myself at a consignment sale for baby stuff. As I wandered around with Tia through rows of strollers, clothing, and cloth diapers, I couldn't help but feel oddly engaged. As weird as it was, it felt somehow nice to be so involved in even the more minuscule processes. If nothing else, it does help clarify things and realign priorities. Somehow, work stuff seems well, less important.
Of course, there are always doubts. Though clarity sometimes feels significant, it often is ephemeral. I feel just as out of my depth at times as I do engaged in the process others. I think that is pretty normal though. For instance, as an illustration, we have been incredibly fortunate to have so many people giving us so many things for the baby, but sadly one of them, we'll call them S & M (no relation to the other meaning) are having a rough go. M stays home with the baby, and he has not been doing terribly well. He was a former member of a band (name unknown) and has been collecting royalties and not working since the mid 90s (like winning the lottery really). He states he pretty much would wake up around noon, gym at 1, then wait for S to get home from work. Perhaps coming from such a, well, relaxed situation makes the transition to being a stay at home dad more difficult. Perhaps it is just a personality issue. Or perhaps he just isn't cut out for that period. All I know is that he is clearly excited to have the kid, and just as clearly unable to cope with that reality. While it is disconcerting, it is heartening to know that good parenting skills aren't a given. It takes a lot of work and effort and a seemingly bottomless well of patience. (Thank goodness for Zoloft right? :) So, while I certainly hope to be good at it, I more hope that if I am not, I am willing to seek out the help I need or find other options that are best for all involved.
On other topics, my health is improving. I decided to try (in a rare bit of sun induced insanity) mowing our flat and not overly large lawn with the push mower. This is generally quite easy to do and, effort wise, I reasoned similar to pushing my IV cart all over the hospital. Well, if that is the case, the good news is that I finished the lawn. The bad news is that the lawn subsequently finished me as well. But, thanks to one of my remaining pain pills, all is well once again. Evidently waiting 2 weeks is a good idea after all. I am to see the doc on Wednesday. Wish me luck in returning to work on Thursday..........and then wish me luck in not wanting to gouge out my own eyes shortly thereafter.
What little I have followed with my job (I do try to check my work email daily just in case anything come up) is that chaos continues to be the symbol by which my department defines itself. Looks like a lot of sick calls and, because of that and because of a lack of trained personnel for the clinic, things have not been going terribly smoothly. I just got an email about a patient who had been getting too much of a certain medication because the patient's medication infusion plan was built incorrectly (by whom I am not certain). So, based on that incorrect infusion plan, the pharmacy mixed the dose. They have access to the original order as much as we do, but clearly did not check it against the infusion plan. Evidently it was caught on the last day of the infusion, but then a dose was mixed and not administered, which the hospital has to eat the cost of (and it is a dearly expensive medication), though thankfully the patient was unharmed despite getting 5 days dosing in 3.
This has been a concern that I have vocalized to anyone wanting (or not wanting) to listen since we started with the new system. The way it works is that an order is sent to the clinic, the RN (generally me, except when absent) scans the order into the computer system and then builds an infusion plan from that order. When the patient arrives and is verified, the infusion plan is released to the pharmacy who then, presumably, checks the infusion plan against the scanned order. What is clear is that this is not happening...and I always doubted that it ever did. So, if the person who entered the infusion plan did so incorrectly, an incorrect dose would be mixed and then administered unless the person who is administering the drug (likely the person who built the plan in the first place) checks the medication against the original order (which should probably be being done as well). My concern has long been that the only person checking my work is, well, me. And although I pride myself on being very thorough and anal retentive about all aspects of how I run the clinic, I am certainly far from infallible. Just imagining someone who is less accustomed to working in the clinic and less familiar with the medications attempting to do my job, the possibilities for error are exponentially higher. Hopefully this will lead to a repair to the system as a whole.
Saw the Hunger Games yesterday. Not sure how to rate it exactly, though I came away impressed. It definitely is a movie that I feel is very much augmented by reading the book prior to seeing it, because it builds on the personal relationships that are necessarily given short shrift by the film. I continue to have no idea how they will end up filming the third book without a hard 'R' rating though.
More to come as always.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Recovery
5 days post surgery and the recovery is going pretty well I think. The pain has largely abated and become more focused on the area of the actual procedure. For the first few days, the pain was worse up and down both legs (it was difficult to lift them in and out of chairs and go up or down stairs, let along ambulate about) and in my shoulders. Thankfully that pain almost miraculously resolved on Saturday. Now, I am able to minimize my pain medications (I still have some always in my system, but far lower dosage and frequency), and move around a whole lot easier.
My follow up is scheduled for the 9th of April, but that seems almost too far out at this point. My hope is to get it moved up closer to the 4th or so. But, it is nice to even be considering that at this point.
More as always as events warrant, but I wanted to at least post some kind of update.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
One more vestigial organ down
Well, it would appear that sometimes abdominal pain is something more than it initially appears.
On Monday night, I got home from work feeling the barest hints of general unpleasantness in my abdomen. It wasn't until after dinner that I really started to feel more significant discomfort. I thought, of course, that dinner just didn't agree with me. I went to bed without the pain abating, but figuring I would be all right the next morning. I was not.
Tuesday my pain was worse. I tried some pepto and some chew-able antacids, still locked into the idea that this was just some passing unpleasantness. I even managed to drag myself into work to see my afternoon patients after calling out for the morning. Only, after I got there, I promptly threw up. But, I figured I would save my sick hours and drag myself through the 5 hours in the clinic that I was needed. And, dammit, I did manage at least that.
Once I got home, the pain started to intensify and shift from above the belly button to the right lower quadrant. After going back and forth about what to do, Tia suggested a call to the advice line. It took nearly 45 minutes to get through, but once I did I was quickly patched through to the on call doctor who suggested I head in to the ED to get looked at. Reluctantly we went in at about 8pm, though I was still fairly convinced that I would be heading home in a few hours with some Percoset and instructions to call in for an appointment with my primary doc if the pain didn't dissipate. After being taken quickly back, they did some blood work and a urinalysis and we waited......for little more than an hour in a tiny room with little to do. From there, it turns out that my tests were all within normal limits except for my white blood count, which was very elevated (they fight infection). It was at this point that worry started to finally creep in.
We were sent back to a more permanent ER room, where I was given an IV, fluids, anti-nausea medication, and pain medication and they debated whether or not to have me drink contrast (awful stuff that) and do a CT scan or just perform surgery. The surgeon arrived in the room at about 1115, and after a few quick prods to the abdomen and some cursory questions, the symptoms were clear cut enough to not need to bother with the scan. Evidently my appendix needed to go.
They wheeled me into surgery around 12:15 (as best as I can recall) and, the next thing I remember, I was coming to in the recovery room. I was wheeled into my overnight room immediately thereafter around 3am and Tia finally was able to go get some sleep (more than I can say for myself really with hourly vitals and a new roomate that arrived around 530 that morning). I spent the rest of the day hanging out, getting pain meds, and nodding off with the least provocation. My mom stopped by and Diane called and finally Tia came by after work. They decided that I could be discharged if I felt up for it........something I really wanted to do. That also took more than a few hours. But, considering everything, it was just a hair over 24 hours from my arrival to the ED to my heading back home, which is quite impressive. And, aside from vomiting on the drive home, I am doing all right (well, plus the incredible abdominal pain from the surgery which was complicated by the appendix being inflamed and hidden somewhat and the general aches and pains related to said surgery).
I don't know if there is a moral to this story..........but if a doc suggests you head into the ED, just go. I am certainly glad I did or the situation could have been much worse.
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