So long shots

I had a patient walk in today (it wasn't my patient and I promise no identifying information, so back off HIPPA police!) who came in looking for her provider.  This happens, on average, once or twice a week.  Only, generally, they at least know who they are supposed to see.  I can pull up the patient's info, but it will only show me their appointment if they are seeing a provider in our system, not outside of it.  Most offices in the building are not affiliated with us.  So, I go to pull up her provider for her and, when I ask her the doctor's name she states, "It is some Asian women.......maybe Chinese?"  What I said was, "I'm sorry, but I can't look them up without their name." What I wanted to say was, "Oh, the asian woman doctor.  Of course!  We all know her.  We do, after all, have to make our quota of one."  It is kind of like when I say I went to UF (45-48,000 students when I attended) and people say something like, "Did you know Billy?"  I usually just say, "Oh yeah, I remember him.  He was a huge anti-Semite.  You aren't friends with him are you?"

 

On to the more mundane, things are occurring as I suspected they would at work.  The nurse who is out on the mysterious leave of absence has extended that leave through mid-June at the minimum.  The likelihood is that she is not coming back at all.  This whole situation is made worse because literally all her patients and the staff she shared space with know about it.  And while she supposedly harbors no animosity towards our manager and towards the rest of the staff, her behavior is affecting us, not the people who made the decision to make this joint venture thing happen.  This is compounded by the fact that my manager has been, in her words, working with this nurse to secure a position to stay within the organization.  Why now would you want this person in your organization at all?  

 

What it means for me personally is a whole lot more driving.  As this clinic can, ostensibly, be run by the charge nurse while staying somewhat in the nougaty center of things, that clinic cannot.  So, I am Gresham bound for much of the next few weeks.  I don't mind it per se, insomuch as I don't mind any changes largely, but I hate above most things commuting.  And this commute is a real bitch in the evenings.  At least everyone seems appreciative of it.  And, like it or not, it is part of the job.   

 

Domestically, I am finding things harder and harder to manage.  Between Tia and I working nearly full time schedules and Quinn, there seems to be less and less time to get things accomplished.  I admit I am a bit OCD about things and they bother me more than they should.  But, it irritates me to have a table half covered in bills and bibs.  It irritates me when the bathroom isn't clean and there are bath toys all over the place.  It irritates me that our yard is weed ridden and seemingly always on the verge of going full on wilderness on us.  Ultimately though, I don't know what to do about it.  By the time Tia and I get home from work and get Q to bed, it is generally after 7.  Then, we need to eat something, which means at least perfunctory cooking and the accompanying clean up.  Then the aftermath of Hurricane Quinn needs to be picked up.  Once you get everything roughly done, you are staring at 830 and have the decision of what to do with your free hour..........get that bathroom cleaned up or veg out for awhile because you are exhausted.  I admittedly almost always go with the latter.  

 

Last but not least, bad news about my ongoing battle against allergies.  My immune system's hyperactive immune response has won out.  I knew I had a chance at failing the shots (about 25% fail them per the allergist), but I had held onto it as my last prevailing hope to staying functional in this climate.  But, when I asked what my next step was, the doc pretty much just shrugged his shoulders (also, when he looked at my sclera, he winced because it was so red/inflamed.........and it did not feel particularly red or inflamed to me, showing me just how far from feeling normal I consider my 'normal' to be).  My last gasp is to try taking an antihistamine vacation of sorts (claritin twice daily vs Zyrtec in the am and claritin pm) and then re-add Zyrtec and hope it recharges.  I might start looking into other options (naturopathic?) as well, because I am kind of out of options as far as western medicine is concerned.  On the upshot, my PFT (pulmonary function tests) were great.  So, at least the whole breathing thing seems handily under control.  Given a choice, I will take being able to breathe over clear eyes and nasal passages.  

 

I better wrap this up.  As I mentioned, too many other things to do.  Ugh.     

No one wants to be left behind

I think we can all agree that, all things being equal, we would prefer to do the leaving rather than being left behind.  Whether it is relationships of the personal or professional persuasion, we would all prefer to be the master's of our own fate.  We all want to believe we are valuable and are bigger than the whole.

I am seeing that now at work.  The nurse who runs the MH clinic has been doing so for about 20 years.  She has dedicated the vast majority of her nursing career there.  She is very unhappy about the now looming buyout which will: A. move her to a new organization and B. strip her of her charge role.  She is also now on a very sudden leave of absence.  I was there filling in for her yesterday (and tomorrow.....and however many other days to be determined).  The likelihood is that she is seeking other employment.  Her patients said as much to me. One mentioned that it, "never hurts to put fear in management by letting them know you are looking for another job."  I was thinking about that fear.

The 'fear' I think she is hoping to strike is more or less related to what she sees as her value to the organization.  That value is transient however.  Had she done something like this a year ago, it would have carried more weight.  Now, with 3 months until they unload the clinic altogether, it is unclear how much power she actually has vs. how much she thinks she does.

Ultimately, I feel for her.  She has committed herself to an organization that, like the vast majority of all organizations, values not your body of work, but what you can provide in the present.  She is not looking at what opportunities she might have at the new place, but rather what she is leaving behind (though they certainly have not treated that clinic, and in effect her, well.  It is certainly the only clinic that I could actively look down upon compared to my own).  For the organization, the clinics no longer had enough value to maintain them as they were and therefore the staff of those clinics were expendable.  To their credit, they seem to have fought fairly hard to keep positions for everyone with the new ownership (though there may be other motivations).

Part of this is generational.  I don't think that most people in my generation (and those that follow) will have the same kind of careers our parents mostly had.  It will be rare for anyone to start and end their career with the same organization.  This lack of commitment is a two way street however.  We know that we need to keep our eyes open for other opportunities because we are mostly an expendable commodity.  It you are worth more than you cost, you are kept, but if that equation is inverted...well, better you have some lifelines already in place.  So, while I am obviously nervous to lose my built up goodwill with management and relationships, I am also somewhat excited by the opportunity to work with other people, learn new skills, and potentially find an even better situation.

What this means to me and everyone else in the meantime is yet another barrier to staffing.  No one knows when she will come back from leave, or even if.  While she is hoping to leverage her position and skills and show up management, what she is ultimately doing is hurting her co-workers and supervisors who have no power to change anything.  Considering this, she would likely be better off to have her frustrations known while showing up and being a professional.  However, the result is not likely to change no matter how she chooses to behave; change is coming whether you embrace it or you do not.  I just hope she finds something to make her happy and that, if it helps her feel better about things, she can do the leaving on her terms.  In the meantime, I think this summer is going to be a tough one on the rest of us.

Roses and thorns Hawaii

I have been struggling to post anything lately.  Call it low motivation or call it low effort, but mostly it is the confluence of both plus the whole having a baby thing.  Anyway, to the post.

Lets start with Hawaii.  It was, as vacations tend to be, some good and some bad (roses and thorns).

Roses:
 - Q getting to go to the beach for the first time
 - Swimming with a sea turtle
 - Yummy fish tacos
 - Time for Q to spend with his grandma
 - Q laughing most of the day having 3 people paying attention to him full time
 - Boogie boarding
 - A week away from work
 - Paia 
 - Cinnamon Rolls

Thorns:
 - Q thinking sand was food......and delicious food at that
 - Q waking up at, on average, 430am, every day
 - Q having teething pain the last 2 days and screaming every few hours throughout the night
 - Near record high temps for the week
 - Road to Hana = rain rain rain
 - Crazy afternoon winds
 - Losing power in the bedroom/bathroom one night due to a short (and short circuiting our 'anniversary dinner' in the process)

All in all, it was really nice.  I can say I have no immediate urge to visit again anytime soon.  I feel like I can see roughly the same stuff in Florida (and stay with family).  Still, I can't help but feel like I could use a vacation after the vacation (sans baby).  For all the things Maui was, relaxing isn't necessarily the term I would use.  I think we might need to look at a driving vacation or a 'stay cation' the next time around.  Especially considering our yard, after just one week of neglect, looks like we left for a month at least.  Mercifully, the plane ride wasn't really that bad.

In other news, I finally received my offer letter from OHSU.  For all the talk about pay rates, mine will actually go up about 5%.  This will largely be negated by the nearly $80/month I will owe in union dues, but it isn't nearly the pay reduction I thought I would be receiving.  Plus, per their union page, the negotiations are in process for the next 3 year contract (expiring in Sept of this year) and they are seeking an additional 8% each of the next 2 years.  Whether that is likely to occur, or if it is just a negotiating tactic, I don't know, but it is certainly an exciting possibility.  I still have a lot of questions and there are some things that are a bit unsettling (like that we will all be subject to drug tests, background checks, and a 180 day probationary period...all generally applicable to new employees only, not current ones which we supposedly were being hired in as), but overall my hope is that it proves positive.  No idea when my clinic will make the transition though.

I hope this won't be the last post for awhile, but who knows.  I will try to be better at it as always.  Now if I can just get the yard under control.