I had to include this in my blog because it went down in a way that my mother would be proud of. Without getting into the entirety of numbers, it came down to me, according to Tia, "bitching out the Realtor." The situation revolves around a bit of unpleasantness which, in the most base terms, involved the Realtor in question lying to Tia about cutting her commission in order to make a deal happen so that Tia wouldn't bear the entire brunt of any lost monies on the sale. It was agreed upon prior to a contract being signed. A potential buyer came, numbers were exchanged, and the deal was dying on the vine over less than a grand. When Tia spoke with the Realtor to make the deal happen by cutting her commission, the response was, "That's not how I do business." Interesting considering that: A. She technically works for us and B. She stood to make $0 if the house didn't sell at all. Tia was upset, but didn't want to confront her about it, preferring instead to just wait until Monday (today) to fire her and talk to her manager. I was more concerned that she would lose the potential buyer unless the Realtor was pushed immediately.......so, I called.
I admit, I was pretty excited about it. With school being an utter, for lack of a better term, shitfest, I was ready to vent and cut loose on someone. I told her calmly, and then emphatically, that if she insisted on maintaining her full commission and letting the deal fall through because of it, she would shit canned and her boss would be notified of her duplicitous dealings (of which we had email record). She wasn't happy to speak to me, maybe because I kept calling her a liar, though I did refrain from peppering my diatribe with profanity as tempting as it was, and insisted she speak with Tia who reiterated my tirade in a more subdued fashion. The result, she caved and the deal is moving forward pending the inspection. It sucks that you have to be a complete tool to get your way anymore, but evidently that is the nature of business anymore. Evidently the Realtor is now being an aloof bitch to Tia, which is infuriating, but hopefully we won't be dealing with her much longer. In the end, the Realtor is getting far less than she hoped, though I wish she would get nothing at all. Now, hopefully the inspection comes out clean.
I got to speak with some of my fellow students and generally bitch about the state of affairs in the school at present and, with utter unanimity, the feeling is that things pretty much suck. I am very disappointed and am clinging to the residual effects of my psych rotation like 'stars' on the surreal life are clinging to the last vestiges of fame. The classes are uninteresting and poorly taught, the simulation is in its infancy and clearly we are operating as the guinea pigs, the home health portion is ludicrous if only because its as fleshed out as Kate Moss after a purging episode, and the clinical rotation is frustrating and is crammed with more bullshit than your average Republican primary debate. Meanwhile, I am often left feeling like the guy who just put a new transmission in his 15 year old car only to have the engine take a dump: too much money in the hole to not keep going.
Off to cobble together enough hours to call it sleep instead of a nap (which is what I am acclimating to on my clinical days). On the upside, at least the Atenolol seems to be working its mojo and the headaches, as well as the nasty initial side effects, are dissipating.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Atenolol
I guess part of having a blog is having the freedom to spill the beans on whatever is on your mind, even if what is on your mind is exactly whats wrong with it. I have long had problems with headaches. Middling annoyances, like gnats at a picnic. They didn't make me feel wonderful, but at least they were as infrequent as good ideas from W's camp. Of late, they have gone from pesky to persistent, making lectures even more difficult to follow then they usually are (for boredom this term, not their intellectual difficulties). Finally, largely at Tia's insistence, I made an appointment to see a doctor. This was two weeks ago.
The doctor performed a neuro exam and was thorough with her inquiries. The determination was some sort of low grade migraines that, on occasion, flare up to be somewhat worse (though not the incapacitating migraines that some suffer). She gave me a few choices, and I decided to just wait and see if the symptoms receded, but they worsened instead. For the headaches, I was prescribed a beta-blocker, Atenolol, which I began taking for the first time today (and here a thank you to Tia must be inserted for tending to me in a manner far better than I would ever tend to myself). First impressions of the medication were not positive. Instead of a low grade hum, I found myself ambling about like a stiff-legged drunk. I don't mean literally reeling through the unit, but mentally I was less steady than Dick Cheney's EKG. I drifted from focus to stupor and back again in rapid succession. I tuned in and out of conversations and had little time hiccups where you are staring at someone and they are clearly talking and, as you are staring at them you presume it is likely you, but when they stop talking and begin looking at you for some kind of response, you quickly realize that staring at the shape of their mouth did not confer upon you any sense of the conversation. (As an aside, if anyone knows a better way to extricate themselves from these situations than wetting their pants, giving an embarrassed shrug, and then shuffling off please let me know. I only have two sets of scrub bottoms.) Suffice to say, it wasn't my best day.
So, since I have the attention span of a tv-raised latchkey kid on a Pixie Stix bender, I think I will cut this short and say that it is hard, based on one day's evidence, to determine if this is any better than the headaches. Kind of like trading a punch in the face for a punch in the kidneys. hopefully I adjust, cause I certainly dont want to try to give meds feeling like this.
The doctor performed a neuro exam and was thorough with her inquiries. The determination was some sort of low grade migraines that, on occasion, flare up to be somewhat worse (though not the incapacitating migraines that some suffer). She gave me a few choices, and I decided to just wait and see if the symptoms receded, but they worsened instead. For the headaches, I was prescribed a beta-blocker, Atenolol, which I began taking for the first time today (and here a thank you to Tia must be inserted for tending to me in a manner far better than I would ever tend to myself). First impressions of the medication were not positive. Instead of a low grade hum, I found myself ambling about like a stiff-legged drunk. I don't mean literally reeling through the unit, but mentally I was less steady than Dick Cheney's EKG. I drifted from focus to stupor and back again in rapid succession. I tuned in and out of conversations and had little time hiccups where you are staring at someone and they are clearly talking and, as you are staring at them you presume it is likely you, but when they stop talking and begin looking at you for some kind of response, you quickly realize that staring at the shape of their mouth did not confer upon you any sense of the conversation. (As an aside, if anyone knows a better way to extricate themselves from these situations than wetting their pants, giving an embarrassed shrug, and then shuffling off please let me know. I only have two sets of scrub bottoms.) Suffice to say, it wasn't my best day.
So, since I have the attention span of a tv-raised latchkey kid on a Pixie Stix bender, I think I will cut this short and say that it is hard, based on one day's evidence, to determine if this is any better than the headaches. Kind of like trading a punch in the face for a punch in the kidneys. hopefully I adjust, cause I certainly dont want to try to give meds feeling like this.
Monday, October 08, 2007
How about them Maple Leafs, eh
I am not sure what I expected Toronto to be like. I have partaken of only a scant few forays into Canada and those were both on the West Coast. I can see why Toronto, not Vancouver, is called the "New York City" of Canada. It larger, dirtier, and more expensive than Vancouver. The trip was a pleasant diversion save the traffic on the way up (with which I deal with the aplomb of a mental patient) and the odd weather which was exceedingly gorgeous upon our arrival and fairly inhospitable (especially since I didn't pack to accommodate such a shift) upon our departure. In the middle, we got to see the sites from the CN tower (and had a delicious and expensive dinner), visit a thriving Chinatown, and window shop for days (since we couldn't actually afford anything there due to a combination of the weakening American dollar, the ridiculous prices than Canadians seem to pay for goods, and a tax rate on goods that seems to hover around 90% or so).
School is now back into full swing. The steady torpor of Psych has become the cranked up amphetamine rush of med surg. I am not really sure what to think of it. I feel about as comfortable as Britney Spears in underwear when performing adult care, but I fake it well enough. Largely, for me anyway, the problem is that we have little enough training to start with and that is compounded by an utter unfamiliarity with the unit. So, not only can i not help patients make their Alaris pump stop its constant beeping, but I also cannot find a way to get a patient a cup of hot water for tea without begging anyone for a pass card to get into the break room. On our new floor, even the clean linens room requires a pass card. Evidently pillow case theft is on the rise.
The above noted, it is at least a far more interesting unit. It is a step-down unit (where people go after surgery) for neurology. My patient had a Pterional craniotomy clinoidal meningioma which is the removal of a brain tumor in the meninges (the fluid surrounding the brain) that involves cutting open a flap on the skull. Needless to say, she didn't look great after the surgery, but she was doing well. The tumor had been sitting on her ocular nerve impairing her vision severely on the left side. She now has a shaved head with a curving row of staples along its left side and 6 weeks of radiation to follow. Hopefully things will turn out okay for her. It is a rough thing to have to go through in your mid 40s. A lot of the patients on the unit are even younger. We will be spending the next month on the neuro floor before relocating to an Oncology floor for the remainder of the term. Along the way, we will also visit the OR, spend a day with the visiting nurse service and spend two days shadowing a nurse on a unit that, hopefully, interests us. Should be much to write about on that side of things.
Classes are still kind of dull, though they will be busy. There are a slew of papers due and biweekly exams to contend with as well as write-ups covering every experience we partake of. It pains me the way that tests on books used to in high school. When you read a book, you read to enjoy it and discuss it with others who have similarly enjoyed the book. You immerse yourself in it. When you read a book for a test, you try to focus on the little things like the address of the main character, the colors the author uses to describe the rivers, and how frequently the author uses metaphors. What you don't do, however, is enjoy the experience of reading the book. Just occasionally, I wish we were afforded the opportunity to just be in the experiences and learn from them with the guidance of our instructors without then having to turn around and document everything. Sometimes it is useful I understand.......but often, it is just a pain in the ass.
Still no sale on the house and winter is coming. Looks like a long drive in the snow for me. Keep em crossed that global warming is real if only for this year and that little more than a dusting befalls us. I cannot imagine trying to wake up and make it to clinicals by 6:45 in the morning (to allow time to change from winter gear to scrubs) while trying to navigate 13 miles of snowy roads and freezing temps. I predict I will be openly weeping for a trip to Florida by mid February at the latest.
School is now back into full swing. The steady torpor of Psych has become the cranked up amphetamine rush of med surg. I am not really sure what to think of it. I feel about as comfortable as Britney Spears in underwear when performing adult care, but I fake it well enough. Largely, for me anyway, the problem is that we have little enough training to start with and that is compounded by an utter unfamiliarity with the unit. So, not only can i not help patients make their Alaris pump stop its constant beeping, but I also cannot find a way to get a patient a cup of hot water for tea without begging anyone for a pass card to get into the break room. On our new floor, even the clean linens room requires a pass card. Evidently pillow case theft is on the rise.
The above noted, it is at least a far more interesting unit. It is a step-down unit (where people go after surgery) for neurology. My patient had a Pterional craniotomy clinoidal meningioma which is the removal of a brain tumor in the meninges (the fluid surrounding the brain) that involves cutting open a flap on the skull. Needless to say, she didn't look great after the surgery, but she was doing well. The tumor had been sitting on her ocular nerve impairing her vision severely on the left side. She now has a shaved head with a curving row of staples along its left side and 6 weeks of radiation to follow. Hopefully things will turn out okay for her. It is a rough thing to have to go through in your mid 40s. A lot of the patients on the unit are even younger. We will be spending the next month on the neuro floor before relocating to an Oncology floor for the remainder of the term. Along the way, we will also visit the OR, spend a day with the visiting nurse service and spend two days shadowing a nurse on a unit that, hopefully, interests us. Should be much to write about on that side of things.
Classes are still kind of dull, though they will be busy. There are a slew of papers due and biweekly exams to contend with as well as write-ups covering every experience we partake of. It pains me the way that tests on books used to in high school. When you read a book, you read to enjoy it and discuss it with others who have similarly enjoyed the book. You immerse yourself in it. When you read a book for a test, you try to focus on the little things like the address of the main character, the colors the author uses to describe the rivers, and how frequently the author uses metaphors. What you don't do, however, is enjoy the experience of reading the book. Just occasionally, I wish we were afforded the opportunity to just be in the experiences and learn from them with the guidance of our instructors without then having to turn around and document everything. Sometimes it is useful I understand.......but often, it is just a pain in the ass.
Still no sale on the house and winter is coming. Looks like a long drive in the snow for me. Keep em crossed that global warming is real if only for this year and that little more than a dusting befalls us. I cannot imagine trying to wake up and make it to clinicals by 6:45 in the morning (to allow time to change from winter gear to scrubs) while trying to navigate 13 miles of snowy roads and freezing temps. I predict I will be openly weeping for a trip to Florida by mid February at the latest.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Going back to Portland............er, maybe
So, today was the end of clinical in psych. It ended very well actually. The rotation itself was great, though the class was utter trash. I had a meeting with my clinical instructor (the one with closed eyes in the picture) and she was extremely complimentary in my review. It was a really nice (by far the most glowingly positive review I have ever received) and, with the rotation coming next, much needed ego massage. It is a place that I finally felt like I fit and understood the rhythms of the facility (perhaps the fact that it happened to be a psychiatric hospital might bear some examination, but for my own sanity I wont look too closely). Anyway, I thought I would get with the Joneses and actually post a pic for one. This is my psych group. The white t-shirts that my classmate and I adorned for the photo is something of an inside joke and not a cry for assistance with fashion (though I would not oppose that notion considering my lack of imagination regarding apparel).
Tia is edging ever near the precipice of her decision on our next destination. I am not without a say in the matter, but we ultimately are making the decision based on whether or not she wants to pursue a PhD in the near future or put it off a bit. If she wants to pursue it, we need to find a place we can both exist happily and, if not, then we head to Portland (or surrounding regions). We should have some semblance of a plan by December.......if she can sell this house that it.
Off to bed. Its been a LONG day.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Ennui
The combo of the coming fall is a real mixed bag here. I remember it being exciting in Florida because it finally meant it was going to cool down. In Portland, it meant the rainy season was nigh and, here in Rochester, it has a very foreboding air. Immediately though, it is fairly pleasant except that it comes bearing my personal Kryptonite, a flurry of new allergens floating through the atmosphere. So, between my meds and the allergies, I get the choose between low grade headaches and general malaise or constant draining. not sure which is the lesser of the two evils. All I know is that it royally sucks.
Classes still leave me wanting. I feel quite disengaged. I would be more concerned about this fact (especially considering that there is much that lies ahead yet) but the malaise is fairly uniform. I wonder when these things occur if they haven't occurred before, because it seems likely that it would have. I wonder why, if that is the case, there isn't something that could be done or changed to reduce such instances. I wonder these things, but in truth I little care because, ultimately, I am here for the destination. A pleasant ride along the way would be a bonus yes, but if i don't walk across the stage at year's end it won't have been worth the time and money. Classes will change soon enough and hopefully my indifference will change with them. If not, there is always the OB/peds rotation in January.
There are so many interesting things that are part of the profession and could be experienced, which is genuine shame. What we are left with is only a cursory knowledge of what we can choose to do upon graduation. It is a little disheartening to imagine the next 10 weeks will be spent wiping ass instead of seeing a research facility, home nursing, community outreach, clinics and the list goes on. Even within the hospital, I wont have the opportunity to see more than my neuro floor. I guess on the bright side, at least I will have a lot of things I will want to potentially shadow to experience.
Off to do some research. Final in Psych by Wednesday and the last clinical day in Psych as well. Then off for some fun in Toronto! I am so excited and have to say that Hotwire rocks (should there be no problems with the reservation that is). The hotel we got for incredibly cheap is gorgeous and right on Front near Yonge: http://www.torontocentre.intercontinental.com/
Classes still leave me wanting. I feel quite disengaged. I would be more concerned about this fact (especially considering that there is much that lies ahead yet) but the malaise is fairly uniform. I wonder when these things occur if they haven't occurred before, because it seems likely that it would have. I wonder why, if that is the case, there isn't something that could be done or changed to reduce such instances. I wonder these things, but in truth I little care because, ultimately, I am here for the destination. A pleasant ride along the way would be a bonus yes, but if i don't walk across the stage at year's end it won't have been worth the time and money. Classes will change soon enough and hopefully my indifference will change with them. If not, there is always the OB/peds rotation in January.
There are so many interesting things that are part of the profession and could be experienced, which is genuine shame. What we are left with is only a cursory knowledge of what we can choose to do upon graduation. It is a little disheartening to imagine the next 10 weeks will be spent wiping ass instead of seeing a research facility, home nursing, community outreach, clinics and the list goes on. Even within the hospital, I wont have the opportunity to see more than my neuro floor. I guess on the bright side, at least I will have a lot of things I will want to potentially shadow to experience.
Off to do some research. Final in Psych by Wednesday and the last clinical day in Psych as well. Then off for some fun in Toronto! I am so excited and have to say that Hotwire rocks (should there be no problems with the reservation that is). The hotel we got for incredibly cheap is gorgeous and right on Front near Yonge: http://www.torontocentre.intercontinental.com/
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