13,000 feet and falling fast

Yep, that picture is Tia and I (Tia with the pink parachute and me with the green). For her 30th birthday, we skydived (skydove?). Hopefully something we will both remember for a long time.

When you tell people you are going to be jumping from an airplane, it usually elicits one of two distinct responses "Why would you jump out of a perfectly good airplane?" or "What are you nuts?" Both are valid points. For the former, I have no answer. To the latter, I say 'very likely.'

The process of getting to the point where you are on the precipice of falling 2.5 miles with a man attached to your back (and a parachute attached to his) is less rigorous than one would assume. You would think it would take some level of skill to skydive..........and it probably does for the person whom you are attached. However, as the attachee, you need know little more than how to fall evidently.

When we arrived, we were handed a packet of 2-sided papers, about a dozen or so sheets long that we were required to sign. They said, in effect, that leaving a plane 13000 ft from the ground is actually quite dangerous (go figure) and, should anything go wrong be it the fault of the pilot, plane, instructor, equipment, bad luck, serendipity or will of the gods you, nor anyone you have ever known or been even loosely affiliated with, will sue. Needless to say, confidence inspiring this was not. I began to fixate on the old Road Runner cartoons where Wile E. Coyote would invariably put his misplaced trust into the hands of the Acme company and, while falling from a cliff would pull his parachute strings only to have a kitchen's worth of cookery come flying out. I very carefully examined anything for signs of Acme's presence and was at least reassured to find none.

After filling out our packets, we were called into the 'instruction room'. The instructor sat up at the front and the dozen or so would be jumpers were perched around the edges of the room. The instruction, and I mean that word in the loosest possible sense, concluded in less than 5 minutes (likely less than 3). In essence, crouch down and fall out of the plane door (and don't hit your head on it) hands crossed over your chest. Your tandem will 'tap you' at which point you go into an arched position. Finally, when you lad, put your legs straight out and curl toes in. We then signed saying we understood and filed out. In my head, I thought, well surely we are going to practice this some in the next room with our gear on right? Wrong.

The next step entailed us getting into our gear and meeting our tandem. This was done quickly and we were out the door in a field near the landing strip. There were some faux plane doors that I thought we would practice in. But, within a few short minutes, a plane pulled up and we began to board. At this point I realized that the training was complete.

We boarded a small prop plan and sat astride two benches that led out to the door. Our tandem person behind us and the tandem person of the next person in front of us. Tia was set to jump next to last........and me last. I was a bit worried about this, thinking that it would be tough watching everyone else leave the plane and still have the resolve to do so myself. What I learned when we got to that point is that the process of leaving the plane, from first to last, was well under a minute.

Each of the professionals had on an altimeter with large dials and digital readouts. When we passed the cloud line, my tandem (Mike) told me that was the height at which we would pull the chute. I was surprised because I had thought we were nearing the actual jump height. We were not even half way there.

When we arrived at about 2 miles up, Mike began tightening various lines and connections. At 11,000 he asked if I was ready (if you say 'no', you head back down with the plane.......and if not my pride, my wallet would certainly have dissuaded me from following that path........not wanting to pay over $175 to fly for 30 minutes in a prop plane) and I responded in the affirmative, though I truthfully had no concept what would ever make one ready for such an absurd thing. But, I was ready enough to get that far, why not go the rest of the way. At 13,000 feet, the door was opened and the first jumper, her tandem, and a camera man edged to the door. In a blink-and-you-miss-it moment, they were no longer at the door. In rapid fashion, at a rate of one every 5-7 seconds, the plane quickly emptied. Tia edged to the deck and was gone. It was now my turn.

In truth, you have little time to consider the notion of being perched on the open doorway of the plane. Only in retrospect can you appreciate it. You have no concept at all of how high you really are. In fact, until we stood on the ground after our jump and watched as the next group dropped from the sky from an airplane that, from the ground, was so far up as to be barely discernable.........a veritable dot in the sky, did we truly comprehend what we had done. But, perched on the doorway for what could not be more than 2 seconds, it is all a scramble. The next instant you are falling at 120mph towards the earth with the wind seemingly rushing up at you. In the space of a 45 seconds, you fall the equivalent of 8000 feet. Then, the parachute opens and you go from facing the earth to an almost upright sitting position. The wind stops and the rushing sound of it quiets and you, for the first time, can really see around you. Within the next 5 minutes or so, you are on the ground.......touching down as gently as if someone sat you down slowly from a high chair.

I am not going to say it was a brave act or a stupid one, but it is a memory that I hope Tia and I will take with us for a long time. I am sure I won't soon forget it.

http://www.skydiveoregon.com/tandem-freefall.php

Sitting on my hands

Tom Petty said it best, "the waiting is the hardest part." I agree of late, though I know it is financially prudent to wait things out. I am of course referring to our soon to be new home. We close in the middle of July, but the ink has long dried on all the documents. We could, based on everyone involved telling us/encouraging us, close earlier. However, every day earlier we move in is another day we pay rent/mortgage to two places. So, every day is about $50 (possibly more if you include all the accoutrements of modern living like water, sewer, garbage, internet, cable and the like. Still, I can't help but think about it. Every time I hear my neighbor bounding up and down the stairs in the entirely graceless way he does (coming down in echoing thuds like someone twice his size), I think about it. Every time I hear his fiancé' through the wall yelling something to him downstairs, I think about it. Every time I look at the crumbling tile around the bathtub, the wood rotting away on the deck, or start to feel a wee bit claustrophobic because our place is so small that leaving something like the vacuum cleaner out in the living room causes it to feel overwhelmingly 'cluttered', I think about it.

But, I try to remember that patience is a virtue...........one I am trying hard to attain (except while driving as that is an entirely lost cause). But still, I can't help but think about the laundry list of things we have or want to do with the house, the spaces we will have to fill, and the people we need to contact to get things done and feel, just a little bit, excited. That is until the reality of ownership comes crashing down upon us. Until then though, the warm glow remains.

Other than the above, we are fully into week 1 of couch to 5K training. It is going pretty well so far and I hope it continues the same. It is easy, but not too and the recovery times are adequate. In many ways, unlike the P90x, it feels doable. It isn't trying to command all your time and energy, just some of it (it is nearly impossible to commit to 90 minutes a day, after work, of high intensity exercise, 6 times a week. I have a hard time committing to a movie that long on a work day honestly). It doesn't begin in the middle and stay there. It doesn't assume you are coming from a high level of fitness to start with (and even if you were, it really is for people who measure fitness in single digit body fat numbers and wear sleeveless shirts to the mall). But, for people like me who needs a rolling start to undertake a fitness regimen, it is ideal and allows for further expansion like a 10k (which is about as far as I really care to take any running regimen). Now if I can just more consistently regulate a diet that vacillates from green salad, fruit, and lean proteins at lunch to "hey that pub menu looks tasty" for dinner I would be doing pretty well. Maybe I will work on that next. That is unless I see a nice pub on the way home.

on the current state of work

I have refrained from posting much about work lately. Largely because it has become rather less than noteworthy. I still have no additional help. I still defer patients to other clinics because of it. The floor staff is still too short of full staff to help much at all. However, it is getting a bit worse now, or will soon.

The realignment that happened in January left quite a few people unhappy because they didn't get positions they wanted and those who did aren't necessarily happy with their selections either. So, there have been a lot of changes. A lot of people moving out and on to other positions in the department as they open and to other positions period often enough. What this has meant is perpetual under-staffing on the floor of EM. This has been burdensome, but manageable. Or was.

We had 3 charge nurses. One full time, and two others that alternated the off days of the full time charge. One of the part time people left a month ago. Now, the full time person is leaving (this Friday is his last day). That leaves just one part time charge RN. Not good. Additionally, two other full time nurses just put in their notices as well. We were down 2 others due to personal leave and another that was open and yet to be filled. We are entering a period of extreme under-staffing.

Largely, what happens on the floor does not affect me any more than my clinic load affected the floor. I didn't get help before, and I most certainly won't now. What it does though is make the goal of expanding services that much more remote. However, it does give me carte blanche to continue to dictate scheduling without regard to anything but my own limitations, because the cavalry aren't coming. So, I will need to just plan to be going it alone for the foreseeable future. Not a fate worse than death or anything, but disappointing as I had so many grander hopes for the clinic and myself. Grander than biding my time and eking through the days and trying to fly under the radar. Oh well. Better than triaging for damn sure!

So, I return to work tomorrow (after a long sick 4 day weekend.............god I hate being sick. Is there any way to feel less fulfilled with a day away from work than to spend it half asleep and half wishing you were?) kind of, if not really sad, downhearted. It seems like my department will never 'get there'...........and even though we were never all that close, it is a bummer to slide back down to being so far away from having full staff.

On the Prius

After spending a week in a Prius, I can say that I do get their appeal. Though they are bland to look at, not terribly fun to drive, and looking out the rear window requires as much guesstimation as anything else with its small bisected rear glass, it does sip gas. On our 900 miles of driving over significant elevation changes, we averaged over 49mpg. Impressive even over flat earth. So, there is that. If you value that above all else, I don't think much compares. Still, it would take a lot to get me to ever consider buying one.

I am not in love with my current car, the Mazda 3. I like it fine, but it is a bit less engaging driving than I had hoped. After driving my Rabbit, which was small, fun, and very peppy, the Mazda seemed overlarge and somewhat sluggish considering its Zoom, Zoom moniker. However, after spending a week in a Prius, the Mazda feels like trying to tame a jet engine. I get it now. It is all in the comparison. I am of average height, but put me next to an NFL lineman and I will look incredibly wee. Put me in a room full of midgets and I will appear towering. The Mazda feels like a true, unadulterated sports car now that I have spent a week in a Prius. Of course, it does get about exactly half the gas mileage.

But, beyond the fuel conservation, there is little to like in the Prius. It isn't attractive and it isn't remotely 'fun' to drive. The braking is mushy and the acceleration is below average. What was, I think, most surprising, was the interior. I knew there would be tradeoffs for good gas mileage, but I didn't think those tradeoffs would be seats with no lumbar support and the lack of features like automatic headlights (they might not come on a Yaris, but even a base level Prius is going to cost you in the low/mid 20s). It has a fun electronic dash with different levels of display, but aside from that, meh. Give me a TDI any day.

On how I ended up listening to a sale's pitch for timeshares (and how the concept still mystifies me)

Vegas is its own animal. I know people say that NYC never sleeps, and maybe they are right, but I didn't find it nearly as pulsing with energy at any point as Vegas seems to be all the time. There is a certain manic energy there that runs through it like too much adrenaline. Everything is loud, ostentatious, flashing, and throbbing with syncopated beats. Its probably why I can only take so much of it. The only silence is sleep and that only comes with the fevered dreams of the chimes of slot machines awash in free watered down booze and the lingering ash tray stench of a thousand bathings in second hand smoke. Even the parking lots blare music and the elevators are constantly entreating you to spend more money in all manner of ways. It is not a place for introspection.

Vegas consistently impresses me in the manner in which they separate us from our money as well. Beyond the well calculated sounds of the slot machines and the psychology of gambling as a whole, they have found myriad ways to strip you of your spending money. Want to go to the pool? free. Would you like to sit in a chair while out there? That'll be $10. Want to lie down in the sun, you'll need the $20 chair. For a cabana, upwards of $100. All the while they come around selling drinks. Oh yeah, and you can gamble out there too. Now many of the resorts are charging a 'resort fee' of $20/day as well. Much like how in Orlando they charge you to park your car on their lot. Of course, as has always weirdly been the case, the more you pay, the less you get. The nicer the hotel, the less chance they will throw in internet, premium movie channels, or even a continental breakfast. Nope, instead internet will run you $15/day, a movie about the same, and breakfast will be provided at startling figures.

As for our actual experience, I would rate it as just okay. Highlights for me were the food at Hash House a Go Go (staggering huge, fun, and delicious food), finding my favorite fishing game slot machine and winning $80 on it, free donut day at Dunkin Donuts, the amazingly nice room at the Golden Nugget for under $70/night, and wandering around the Fremont Experience. Lowlights are the ever present cigarette stench, the people trying to hand you call girl cards all up and down the strip, and the belligerent 'old enough to drink but not old enough to have a lick of sense in their head' drunks at all hours of the day or night. Oh yeah, and the whole time share thing.

So, at our hotel there were a group of suit clad individuals offering up an array of rewards for your time from free shows (or reduced price if you wanted to see something pricey like Cirque) to vouchers for your hotel. Having had precious little luck gambling and deciding it was a good way to get $125 (per couple) to spend how we wished, we opted to give it a shot after being promised on numerous occasions that it would 'be 2-3 hours tops'. After agreeing to do this we gave them $40 (which was 'refunded' after the event) and boarded a bus to the time share. We were then greeted by our salesperson (guide?) who took us to a room with about 20 other couples and their salespeople watched a slick presentation that included donuts, Hershey kisses, and a weird 'Alcoholics Anonymous' piece that had us going around the room introducing ourselves and then clapping for everyone. After an hour of this, we thought we would see the actual units we would be ostensibly buying a portion of..........but not yet. First they bring us upstairs and feed us sandwiches and then go through the carefully orchestrated motions of trying to sell you on it without ever divulging prices. Then they took us on a tour that briefly included the actual place but mostly focused on the casino next door (which had the nearest restaurants and the like). Then, finally, we went back up to the large room (with what had to be about 80 or so couples/families each with their own salesperson around small 4 person tables) where the numbers started to come out.

You would think I would have a pretty thorough understanding of the whole time share thing after that, but I don't. As near as I can tell, you give them anywhere from $9990 to $41990 (financed without credit checks at an astronomical 17.9%) along with varying fees for maintenance and to belong to an international exchange of sorts and then you get 80,000 points which you can exchange for things like 2 weeks in Vegas or 8 weeks in Mongolia or 8 hours in Paris or something plus a fee for that as well and, of course, based on availability. But, for reasons unclear and I have to believe untrue, this place in Vegas was worth more points all year round than, say, Sydney Australia was at any point in time, or Madrid, or just about wherever. The whole thing also included vague discounts that applied to anyone in just about any industry and some weird promise that you get to pass this down to your kids. Only, they never were willing to let us see a contract.

At the end, we were shuffled down to a smaller room where we met with someone who asked us a few rather vague questions about our time there. Then off to another room where we met with a women who cheerlessly gave us our vouchers and were swiftly out the door to wait in a bus for 15 more minutes (if you purchased anything they sent you back in a private limo) until it filled with the other souls who resisted the endless sales pitch. We finally stumbled back into the hotel 5 hours from the time we departed. On the plus side, we turned the vouchers into a fancy dinner and made an additional $30 gambling.

My advice, just skip the whole thing and head to hash house a go go. Way better way to spend your time.

On how I found myself awakening at 3:30 in the AM

Tia brought up a good point about vacations, essentially that it is unfortunate when you get back from some of them and friends and co-workers ask how it was and you have little to say besides 'Well, it was better than being at work.' Our cruise to Mexico was like that. Better than work, but otherwise nondescript. Sedona was a different animal altogether.

Our vacation was broken into 2 parts, so the blog will follow suit. Sedona is/was beautiful. Every picture online of the scenic hikes and gorgeous desert landscape pale in comparison to seeing it in person. We stayed in an inexpensive hotel called the Views Inn which, like every place in Sedona, boasted incredible views. We were less than a mile from Bell Rock (see above) and could see it from the front window in our hotel. The weather could not have been more cooperative as well, staying in the lower end of the 80s (though dipping into the 40s at night). With the exception of a freak wind storm on Sunday (40mph gusts), it was perfect.

For as beautiful and scenic as the hikes were, downtown Sedona was a bit of a letdown. While not horrible, it certainly was chock full of touristy nonsense. Even that, however, doesn't fully explain it. While there were a lot of desert landscapes, dream catchers, and Kokopeli likenesses about, there were also incongruities. For one, they definitely boast an inordinate number of galleries with some pretty high cost items. Though incredibly intricate and fascinating to look at, even the wind catchers could cost upwards of $7K. Also, there were a few curiosity shops at the end of the strip of stores that boasted, and I am not making this up, an immense variety of animal pelts and tales, animal skulls of all kinds, animal toes of all kinds (most real, though some imitation..........which begs a lot of questions both about why anyone would need either, but also confuses me as to the need to have fakes. Is the demand THAT high for badger toes?), feathers and various glass encased insects and reptiles. In a word, effing creepy. Although, if you are ever looking for authentic porcupine quills, I can point you in the right direction.

We also took the opportunity to go hot air ballooning while in Sedona. I was shocked at how smooth the whole thing was and how fine a control the pilot had. We went up as high as 3000 feet and low enough to scrape the tops of the trees and see mule deer and jack rabbits scurry through the scrub brush. It was really amazing. The only downside was they picked us up at 4AM, meaning we were up at 3:30. We spent an hour in the hour and had a champagne breakfast to follow and were the last people dropped off and it was still just shy of 8:30 in the morning. Truly worth it, but there are precious few things I could say that about at that time in the AM.

We also wandered to the Grand Canyon and it was every bit as impressive as I could have imagined. It was so large that it was impossible to gauge it, but it looked as unreal and as perfect as a Hollywood backdrop. We hiked down one of the trails (1.5 miles with a 1000 foot elevation drop..........more impressive than you imagine until you are climbing back up it!) and took copious pictures. One day I will make it back there and hike to the bottom and back up............right after I get in much better shape that is.

Finally, on our way out of Arizona to Vegas, we drove along a piece of true Americana, Route 66. Unfortunately, aside from the Road Kill Cafe we dined in, there was not much to it. Whatever quirk there was had long since evaporated. The 75 miles or so we traveled along it, there were nothing but blink-and-you-miss-em towns and some humorous rhymes provided by Burma Shave. I was really hoping to see the world's largest ball of twine or something.

Next up a complete 180 from peace, tranquility, and natural wonders...........Vegas!