A look back

Since newspapers, magazines, and umpteen shows are all making their end of the year lists, I thought it would be a good time to reflect on all the things that happened in this incredibly eventful year, a year in which Tia and I moved three times and called four different addresses our own.

The year began in Rochester, NY amid a background of cold and snow. I spent the first month plus wandering around the maternity ward of the hospital and saw my first birth, changed my first diaper (on a child anyway), and watched enough circumcisions to qualify myself as an expert. I followed that up with 5 weeks with children/adolescents which was both rewarding and somewhat sad. By April, clinical time was done and I was 90% to graduation. Of course, then I had to pass an exit exam, finish up group projects, and then begin to study for the most difficult test I have ever taken, the NCLEX.

May finally arrived and with that came our wedding and honeymoon, smack between the end of classes and 'official' graduation (which I did not attend). It was a whirlwind time and one that was both an amazing life change and a welcome respite from the rigors of the program. We returned to Rochester briefly, long enough to sell off the majority of our belongings, pack, and get a trailer hitch installed on Tia's car (along with selling my own). Tia's mom flew out to help us drive across the country yet again (I have had my fill of cross country moves now). Along the way, my body started to betray me.

With much studying to do, my health continued to deteriorate as did I. Within a month, I had lost 20lbs and was not improving. Turns out it was my gall bladder (Not Colonel Mustard in the study with a wrench). Thanks to Tia's persistence and Diane's aid, medication finally patched me up enough to function and I have stayed fairly solid since (my gall bladder still holds a tenuous lease with my body).

Despite the ailments, I did manage to locate my first job, pending my passing the national boards. I ended up accepting a job in Salem............and then one nearer in Oregon City. I decided against working in Salem (long commute and nagging suspicions related to some issues Tia had with them). Took the NCLEX (passed it miraculously) and began working in Oregon City. The job fit like a square peg in a round hole. Code Browns seemed to dominate most days and I often saw far too much resemblance betwixt this job and my brief but memorable time in long term care. I was miserable and felt wholly unprepared for the realities of the weeks and months that were to lie ahead. Less than 3 weeks (and two lost lunches) later, I found myself interviewing with Dr. Price and her team. A job offer accompanied the interview and, after a brief meeting with the head of the nursing team in Oregon City, I took another leap of faith.

Thankfully, the job has worked out about as well as I could have hoped. No, it isn't perfect (the benefits are porous and there remains too much time off sans pay for my liking), but I adore my co-workers and my boss and I genuinely like the job itself 98% of the time. Plus, as a fringe benefit, I will be able to hopefully conquer my own allergy demons along the way. On the whole, I feel very fortunate.

As for Tia, her job continues to treat her well. Like me, she has a good relationship with her boss and co-workers and, also like me, there are some things she would perhaps alter could she do so, but the sum is a positive one and that is a far greater thing than most jobs can profess to offer.

Now, as the year closes, we are finally free of Wilsonville and back within the confines of the Portland we had hoped to return to. I am sure the new year will offer many challenges (as they always do), but hopefully it will also come with many rewards as well. For now, I will be pleased to have some stability and possibly find myself in the same home and same employ at this point in the coming year.

PS: thank you to both sides of my family and my wife for the wonderful Christmas gifts and memories. Both are gratefully received.

Memories courtesy of Facebook

I admit, I was a reluctant adopter of the whole social networking phenomenon. I was tardy in my adoption of Myspace (though quick to abandon it once people began pimping their 'space' out and it starting loading like dial up) and behind the times with Facebook (and admittedly only then because of the now defunct Scrabulous application). But, what I have found it to be, more than anything, is a weird meeting place for the forgetten members of our individual pasts as much as it is a way to stay connected with people in the present.

Memories are an odd thing. There are things you can't forget, and things you can only remember when prodded by a certain scent or a song and otherwise never cross your mind. My old friend Michelle, who is the impetus of this post, is like a song that defined a particular place and time in my life. In this case, freshman year of college.

Michelle was an acquantance in high school and little more. One of those people you could pick out of a lineup, but remain otherwise indistinct in our lives. As is the case with most people who leave for college and are away from home for the first time, the graduates of our high school that attended UF (perhaps a baker's dozen) found one another and clung together until we felt secure enough to venture out on our own. It is in this way that Michelle and I became close friends, skipping classes together and hanging out in my dorm room for the usual weekend drinking binges that occurred on my lightly patrolled dorm floor. Nothing ever happened between us, she was like a sister, but I have so many memories of us shuffling through used CDs at one or another of the many music stores near campus, attending numerous free concerts put on by the school, and late night cram study sessions. She is an indelible, and until recently, forgotten part of my college experience. She stands out all the more because, after freshman year, we drifted apart rather quickly. I began a serious relationship and closed my social circle and she joined a sorority that I, at the time, thought was quite ridiculous. So, just like that, the door opened and then abruptly closed A friendship with a distinct beginning and ending is a rare thing and leaves an indelible print the way romantic relationships often do.

On an utter and complete sidebar, thinking of her, I can't help but recall how insanely self-righteous I was at that time and place in my life.......and utterly hypocritical. I was militantly anti-smoking, but had a far more liberal policy about underage drinking (no stance whatsoever really). I thought religion was just a crutch for the weak minded and was willing to argue the point ad naseum (I still don't find any personal value in it, but understand that some people find it imensely important and I decline to concern myself with it as long as it does not infringe on my rights). I had never met an open homosexual and had a poor understanding that they were not some strange societal niche group, but rather part of every niche group and none at all. In other words, exactly like everyone in the greater majority save sexual preference. In short, I never was more certain (and likely egregiously wrongheaded) about the black and white nature of all things than I was in my late teens. I can't help but want to look back and laugh, though I know that much like the awkward physical growth spurts that define the earlier teen years, mental and emotional growth spurts are just part of life (only far more awkward in retrospect).

So, I am grateful to Facebook for this surprise trip down memory lane. I wonder who else will find me in the future and spark a similar journey. All i know is that I will look forward to it when it happens.

Happy Holidays to everyone.......remembered and (temporarily) forgotten.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it...............ok stop already!

It is kind of hard to blog when the sum our your experiences are encompassed within the walls of a 900 square foot condo over the past few days. Forays the week prior were dominated exclusively by trips to and from work (gripping the wheel with white-knuckled ferocity). Mostly I have spent countless hours perusing websites far and wide, reading novels until my eyes blur, and watching television indiscriminately (with the only qualifying factor being that they are not The View and don't revolve around couples with an inordinate amount of children........I'm looking at you Jon and Kate and your like-minded television brethren). Ah, snow in Portland. Pretty on day 1, but by day #5, you are beginning to view cabin fever as a physical malady.

Here is hoping that everyone out there is keeping themselves sane cloistered as we all must be in our respective homes. Happy Holidays!

Dexter

Well, we finally did it. We moved into our new place and what a clusterf*#k it has been! First, I would like to take this opportunity to publicly (and privately) denounce BB Management as possibly the worst property management company to ever operate such a business. If not the worst, certainly the worst I have had the displeasure of dealing with. We are learning how to be the squeakiest wheel possible thanks to them.

It all began on the first when we attempted to move some of our belongings in. Tia and Diane packed up their respective cars and we headed over only to find that, despite the condo being 'ours' as of that morning, there was much left to be desired. The switch plate covers were half missing, the linen closet had no shelves in it (later to be deemed cosmetic.........as in, an 'us' problem, not a 'them' problem and we have thus had to procure our own shelves), the A/C unit was missing (which resulted in a vented hole in the wall going to the outside), and the place clearly had not been cleaned. Additionally, the backsplashes in the kitchen were (and remain) just leaning up against the wall, the sink in the kitchen had, at best, the kind of weak stream that would require medication in people, and the drains throughout were sluggish. And, our key did not work and the mailbox key was MIA as was the garage door opener. After much back and forth, a threats of litigiousness, most of our problems were resolved, though it was made painfully evident that they were doing it 'out of the goodness in their hearts' not out of necessity on their part (which is horseshit of the highest order). They have been prompt thus far in repairing most of our other claims, though I have a feeling we will never have properly secured backsplashes or a vent cover in our bathroom. And to think, you could purchase this place for your own for the princely sum of $185K (or about 30-50% above its actual value in my estimation). Start saving your pennies for when our lease expires! :)

In other rather rotten news, my work benefits are being cropped back in the new year.......a real shame since I just got them a week ago. Evidently due to budgetary constraints, the basic package will no longer be gratis. Additionally, not only will we be paying some out of pocket for it, but the benefits will be degraded, with higher deductables and a lower percentage of services covered. All in all, not good. Plus, dental coverages will now have an out of pocket expense as well. Oh yeah, as the final kick to the nether regions, they are also dropping long-term disability and death and dismemberment. Go USA and our altogether ridiuculous health care system! Pleae help us Obama!

Like the local news, I try to end 30 minutes of bleakness with some whimsical positivity that makes the preceding stories of murder, drugs, and other crime a little more digestable. Unlike the local news, I do not have access to a video of a squirrel waterskiing (okay I do....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXcaFC1vF0Q). Anyway, the positive news is that we finally have a pet to call our own. An all white (read: no more black clothing and lots of money invested into lint rollers) adult from the CAT shelter named Dexter (the titular character in our current favorite show). Unlike his namesake, Dexter the cat is neither sociopath nor particularly motivated in any way. He is the lazy lapcat I always wanted (though he drools enough that you would think him canine or at least be concerned about dehydration).

A last bit of interesting news, I made an appointment for a dentist today, which wouldnt be noteworthy except that said dentist is evidently part of some new, and hopefully enjoyable, business venture. It is part dentist, part spa. With each cleaning, you get a foot or hand massage and they have a full service spa as well. Makes going to the dentist something to savor instead of dread. A review to follow after my service on the 17th ( http://www.dentspa.net/). Interesting to say the least.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Each time I wait to post, I think about (and then promptly forget) so many things that I wish to say. Here goes nothing:

Work is mercifully not a concern this week. It has been incredibly busy, especially with Dr. Price closing up shop this week. Everyone was clamoring to get in like there was an exclusive dance party going on. Next week looks much the same. Gulp and yikes. In the meantime however.....

There is packing to do. Lots and lots of packing. Miserable task that it is. I don't know what I find more unpleasant about it, the packing for the move, the unpacking on the other side, or living with most everything packed in between. Hopefully using professional movers will make this easier (though painfully more expensive). We are looking forward to the new place.......er, for the most part anyway. The place is run by an organization that has been, well, not entirely forthcoming, either through accidental oversight or just lack of knowledge. Despite the one month's rent we have given for a deposit, they now want a non-refundable cleaning fee of $250 (since reduced to at least $150 because we bitched enough about it). Tia was not told about this until she picked up the lease, though they contend otherwise. The thing is, they are saying that, if we don't pay it, we will forfeit our deposit. Though we would willingly tell them to stick the condo somewhere unpleasant because of the cleaning fee, we are ina very difficult position. Legally, I dont think that they can keep it because they did not disclose certain fees.......but it is hard to know. Plus, quite frankly, they have the advantageous since they have the money already. I HATE paying pointless fees........be they a few hundred or just a few dollars.

We had a chance to get away for a few days to Bend. Since there wasn't any snow and it is too cold to go rafting, there isn't a whole lot going on in Bend that isn't going on in Portland honestly......but it was a spectacular getaway just the same, solely because of where we stayed. We spent two night at the Cricketwood Country Bed & Breakfast (http://www.cricketwood.com/). To say that I am now spoiled for all other hotels/b&b's is an understatement. The room was appointed with an overlarge satellite TV, a king sized bed, a jetted bathtub, a massage table and DVD, a DVD player (and at least 100 DVDs to choose from downstairs) and his and hers robes and slippers. The main part of the house had, gratis with your stay, a beverage refridgerator with 3 kinds of Deschutes bottled beer, 6 types of wines, and a variety of canned soda and bottled waters. There was also a tea garden with, at minimum, 40 types of tea and free popcorn and assorted snacks. The downstairs also includes a gas fireplace and fountain. Outside there is a disc golf course and a hottub that can be used 24 hours a day. But, none of that was the best part of the stay. The thing that really pushed this place over the top was the food.

Every day you start with a beverage service including most anything you could possibly want delivered to your door at a time you designate. Following that, also at a time you designate, was breakfast. You make your selections the day prior so that it will be ready for you when you come down. Homemade sweet rolls, fresh baked bread pudding with rum sauce, omeletes made to order, juice, coffee, etc. You can select as much or as little as you want. Additionally, every evening at 7, there is a cookie and beverage service........and you select how many and what type of cookies! I wish I could adequately describe how good the food was, but words honestly fail me. Go there if you need a getaway........completely and totally worth it.

In addition to the B&B we hit up a spa with some wedding gift cards and had the kind of deep tissue massage that is painful and pleasant at the same time and then relaxed with wine and a light salad and cheese plate. All in all, a much needed escape.

Good luck to those shoppers amongst my readers. Tomorrow will be a test of your fortitude.

On how I became a pill head

Those of you that know me, know that I am a fairly staunch advocate for Western Medicine. It stems from the great benefit I have received from it. In the right combination, under the right care, miraculous effects can be achieved. I was never able to do nearly the cardio I can do now......and I owe it all to medications that have, in essence, freed me to do things that someone without my impaired lung function would take for granted. But, despite my seeming dependence, I have never thought of myself as someone who NEEDED medications long term. I guess I always beleived that they were just a temporary fix.........a crutch until I learned some way to walk on my own.

Now, there is this whole cholesterol mess. No paragon of gustational virtue am I, but I am not emulating Morgan Spurlock's quest to live on fast food either. With Tia, in large part, controlling our diets, I eat a lot more fresh fruits and veggies than I have before, I eat less red meat, and I consume better fats. I also have lost weight and do cardio excercise fairly regularly. Yet, this has had only a marginal impact on my cholesterol. Like trying to empty a bathtub with a thimble. Suddenly I am faced with the decision to really commit to a lifetime of pills.....or face whatever repercussions elevated lipid levels yield (heart attack being the most severe). It makes me feel old in a way that I never truly did before.

Think I will head out for some fast food or a big can of lard...........a last meal of sorts. Bah!

Bacon chocolate

I spent the past few weeks predominantly bottled up inside of 'the clinic' and/or commuting too and from. I don't say that negatively since the hours are needed, but rather to explain my lack of blogging of late. It is hard to write when all you want to do is sleep. I have probably given better than 100 injections over the two days at the shot clinic though, so if I havent achieved proficiency at this point, it isn't going to happen.

In the past few weeks, noteworthy events were not entirely absent, though they were not abundant either. It looks like we will be moving again. This time to a place nearer to our respective jobs and far north of Wilsonville. We will be losing a little bit of space, but gaining a lot less time (and money) spent commuting. Plus, while we both like the layout of our apartment, it isn't exactly the most phenomenol place we have ever seen. Like most apartments, it has its plusses and minuses. Will miss the community gym though. Laziness is harder to achieve when you have a gym literally yards away from your residence (though still entirely possible).

New place is interesting in that they are converted apartments that they tried, unsuccessfully, to sell and then opted to rent out 50% of them. They seem to have haphazardly spent money upgrading them however. New carpet in the bedroom and hardwood and/or pergo in the remainder of the home. New granite countertops in the kitchen and bathroom. New stainless steel appliances. Conversely, you have older refaced cabinets, poor craftsmanship on the tile work (not square or grouted properly) and they left the old bathtub (complete with chip and bad caulkwork) and the old bi-fold closet doors on all closets. Plus, no disposal. Odd oversights when you are trying to sell less than 1000 square feet for nearly $190K I think. But, as a rental, nothing to really complain about too vociferously.

I got to try something that I have long wanted to: chocolate bacon. It was a candybar from Vosges that my boss brought in for us to try (http://www.vosgeschocolate.com/product/bacon_exotic_candy_bar/exotic_candy_bars). Hard to describe really. Not unappealing, but at the same time, quite a disorientating taste combination. It tastes exactly like it sounds......chocolate and smoked bacon. bizarre.

Tia and I also got another kitten to befriend our current little one who is working hard at overcoming her fear of, well, just about everything except for paperballs which she attacks with vehemenance. The new little guy is an orange tabby that is just about the firendliest kitten we have yet had. Will be a shame that we wont be able to foster at the new place. I really like having pets (especially kittens which are almost always upbeat).

One more week until vacation. So looking forward to it!

Weekend

I forget sometimes how much fun weekends can be. Most are fairly unremarkable and pass rapidly (in approximately the same amount of time as my morning commute on Monday by my rough accounting). Since I have been working a lot of Saturdays lately, I haven't really had a weekend in the traditional sense for what seems like forever (but has really only been a few weeks now). The Saturday working schedule makes the weekends seem infinitely shorter even though it is only a half day, by in large because the work day starts in the early afternoon and ends at the cusp of the evening. Oftentimes I find it hard to motivate myself to accomplish much other than feeding myself and, if I have the gumption, exercising, before dragging myself downtown.

Additionally, my Friday evenings tend to be less than robust affairs. I am usually a complete and utter wreck on Friday nights because we start early on Friday.......6:45am. Those of you that know me well, know that I am scarcely a sentient being at that hour and, at the very least, should not be entrusted with sharp needles and assorted serums. It is a combination that I am fairly certain will lead to legal action at some point in the future. So, suffice to say, without a languid nap and then some liquid amphetamines ala Starbucks, I can reliably be found in or near the bed doing my best impression of a beached sea mammal around the time the evening news is wrapping up.

This weekend started off no different than any other. I got home, passed out on the couch petting our foster Wynn, and woke up groggy but rested some 60 minutes or so later. It was one of those delightful instances where instead of planning to curl up and slumber, sleep just overtakes you and you wake up disoriented and not at all cognizant of the passing of time. Somewhat refreshed, i determined to prod my endorphins into action by exercising which, in turn, woke me up. Then Tia decided that we should do all of our weekend cleaning that night (my life is a riotous party and this proves it! :), which at least did get it off the slate for the remainder of the weekend.

I began Saturday by revisiting with some old friends at the Pho restaurant that I ate at the week prior. This time I steered away from innards, but can't say I unequivacably succeeded in that regard (I will save the description for those weak of stomach, but suffice to say it wasn't run of the mill Americana though it was delicious!) It was so nice to see Josh and Jen and catch up, though we were cut a bit short because of the aforementioned work thing. Still, it was great to finally see them after my gall bladder, work, and life have prevented it from happening since my return. Plus, sometimes I think living in Wilsonville is almost as remote as living back in Rochester, as far away as we often seem to be from everyone and everything in the city proper. 20 miles seems almost like 200 when you are trying to plan something.......especially since having people come to Wilsonville does not allow for nearly as many activities, restaurants, etc as heading into Portland. It is like going to a friends house to play Nintendo vs going to an arcade. But, I digress.

After a pleasant lunch, I was off to work which was intensely hectic. Luckily Kelly and I remained sane during our first day sans Erica (I was on the brink at times I admit) and managed to plow through it. Afterwards I convinced her to join Tia, myself, Tia's parents and their neighbors at Hubers for happy hour. I am not a huge drinker, but I am not opposed to it in the slightest if given even the least provocation. And, I am helpless to resist when anyone deigns to offer up cheeseburgers, shrimp cocktails, and various other culinary delights for less than $2 to accompany said intoxicants. Add that to good company and you have a pretty good evening by all accounts.

After filling up on cheap food and expensive liquor, we headed up to Cacao (http://www.cacaodrinkchocolate.com/) which "celebrates chocolate in all its forms" according to its website. How can you argue against that? It was spectacular and crazily indulgant for just a few dollars. Its one of the reason why I love Portland......so many niche eatieries, and all of them so intriguing.

Tia and I finished out the weekend by heading out to Sushiland for some conveyor built raw eatables. I know they don't offer the highest quality, but the value and their delcious spicy but not too spicy orange hot sauce that tops their tempura asparagus and spicy tuna rolls is crazily addictive. And, for less than one Andrew Jackson, two can eat to their hearts content (proved you don't have a hankering for the $5 special plates that is). All in all, I am sure I put away some 10,000 calories, but I did so happily in highly enjoyable company. I am, of course as always, chagrined to see the fun end and the work week begin again..........but at least I know that another weekend is just around the bend.

Bizarre

I have to admit, much to my wife's chagrin, that I have been idolizing Andrew Zimmerman the host of Bizarre Foods(for a smattering of what he has eaten, check out the episode lists on wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bizarre_Foods_with_Andrew_Zimmern). It isn't him per se, but his cavalier attitude towards the most seemingly repulsive foods that I find so captivating. How can he eat, with such equanimity, the things that repulsed so many people on shows like Fear Factor? I have watched him rave about the flavors and textures of animal parts that we would be reluctant to put into pet food. And yet, I find it all weirdly inspiring.

I have eaten my fair share of the less common culinary delicacies. I enjoy buffalo. I adore escargot. I like the taste of rabbit, though not the tiny bones. I am ambivalent about frog legs. I have eaten fried salted ants and chocolate ensconced grasshopper. I have consumed copious amounts of jellyfish. I have even eaten Spam. I have, however, barely grazed the surface. So, in an effort to broaden my horizons, we headed out to Vietnamese food the other evening.

I have eaten Vietnamese food on a number of occassions, but have largely shied away from the few less commonly eatn fare. This time I dove right in and ordered the following: Tái, Nạm, Gầu, Gân, Sách -Eye of round steak, well-done flank, fat brisket, soft tendon and honeycomb tripe with meatballs. I have to say that I have not had tendon or tripe before and the review is honestly mixed. While I enjoyed the tendon, it had an interesting texture that is difficult to explain and excellent flavor, the tripe (beef stomach) was less satisfactory. It had nothing to do with the flavor or the appearance (though is looks nothing like anything you would find in an American eatery), the texture was just too tough and chewy for my liking. Not sure if it was not cooked properly or if that is just how it is supposed to be. Either way, another check mark next to a few new foods. I am very interested to try even more. Now, if I can just get my wife to come along with.

Winter doldrums in the fall?

When is it acceptable to start feeling officially bummed out about the overall lack of sun? Is it too early to do so now?

I am already feeling the beginnings of the winter doldrums. It manifests with such rapidity and in such a manner as to be physically affecting as a flu. I dont know when (if) I will ever acclimate to the lack of sunshine. Even a few days without it seems to drive my energy and spirits down.

My job continues to go fairly well. Of course, nothing is perfect and you take the good parts with the bad ones. If I had my druthers (and an obscene amount of money) I wouldn't work at all except for whatever pursuits availed themselves to me on my tropical island paradise. However, since that seems highly unlikely to happen, I try to deal with the realities that I actually face. On one hand, I thoroughly enjoy my workmates and my boss and, for the most part, I like the job itself. On the other hand, the benefits are mediocre (even if I pony up the dough for the premium benefits) and sometimes I get frustrated by the lack of hours and, considering that we will be closed the week of Thanksgiving and the week of Christmas, it isn't likely the hours are going to be getting much better in the very near future either. It is a minor complaint of course......as those are times that I would prefer to have off anyway. However, I would much rather that time be paid instead of unpaid. Hopefully it levels out once the holiday season runs its course and the hours will be a bit more consistent.

Time for a drink.

Allergic to everything

Allergy testing is conducted in two parts, prick level and ID level. Prick level testing (aka scratch testing) involves plastic applicators with pointed edges that have been dipped in varying allergens. I tested positive to three things at that level: dogs, cockroaches, and dust. The second level of testing is intra-dermal (ID) and involves a small amount of each allergen that you did not test positive to injected under the surface of the skin. It feels and looks like a bug bite. I tested positive to most everything at this level, potentially even the needles themselves.

The next step is to get the serums made and start shots. Because of my testing, I would get all the allergens in my serum meaning a total of three bottles and a multitude of injections. Big fun! The good part is that it is covered while I work there. The bad part is that they take about 5 years. A long commitment. Should be an interesting ride. Might even get some epi when I anaphylax :)

Looks like the condo is a non-starter. The HOAs are ridiculously high and yet they manage to not have any money in reserve. What it means is that they raise the fees annually. Selling a place with fees over $400 monthly would severly limit our ability to turn it over in a few years. Oh well, back to the drawing board. Thankfully for us, the market continues to offer up opportunities. Something will be a good fit evenetually.

I had to write about a new show I am enamored with: Fringe. It is like a melding of the X-Files and CSI. I can totally geek out watching it. Check it out if you haven't yet. Also on Hulu (where I watch mostly).

Worth it?

Well, we are heading off to see another condo..........this one the cheapest place so far: $110K. The HOA fees are frighteningly high ($333/month), but at least they include cable, water, sewer, and garbage as well as the usual array of exterior maintenance. I am interested to see what, exactly, a house in this price range looks like though. My guess is that the pictures will not do it justice. I guess I will be pleasantly surprised if it doesn't include a hobo with a trash fire and all the copper stripped down for scrap.

I will post more after I see it. If you are interested here is the listing: http://www.johnlscott.com/propertydetail.aspx?GroupID=75182442&ListingID=32364741&Sort=0

Why cell phones are better

Sure, cell phones are kind of expensive, they force you to sign prohibitively long contracts with exorbitant cancellation fees, and the phones themselves may cause some sort of brain tumor, but all in all they are better than digital home phones by my estimation. We are now free of Verizon Fios with their god-awful service which included inconsistent internet connections, cable that seemed inclined to work inversely to our desire to watch something, and phone service akin to using a walkie-talkie in a cavern. After much fighting back and forth, buying a new phone, and doing everything short of prayer circles to make it work, we moved on to Comcast. Our service has been stellar............um, for about two weeks anyway. Now we have internet and cable, but they can't seem to get our phone to work. We were advised, again, to purchase another phone because they are certain that it is our equipment that isn't working. Of course, the phone works fine (even has 6.0 DECT technology.........which means about as much to me as the 'techroline' that comes in Shell gas). People can call us (though it is not a good connection), but we can't make outgoing calls as all of them go straight to Comcast (though never to a real person). Suffice to say, at this point a cell phone and a brain tumor seems preferrable.

Financial Advice

As a wedding gift, Tia and I have been receiving professional financial consultation. It has proven to be quite enlightening (due largely to the fact that we have proven to have less than a sophisticated knowledge of finances). Just today I learned the difference between types A, B, and C shares related to retirement accounts whereas, prior to the meeting, I didn't even realize that such a delineation existed at all. In fact, I only vaguely know what stocks are because of movies like Wall Street and high school economics projects involving fake money and stock purchases such as No Fear clothing and Harley Davidson motorcycles because that is all we were familiar with.

I also learned there are something like 15,000 funds you can choose from and they all perform differently, sometimes significantly so. On top of that, you have to decide how risk averse you are in your investments and evaluate your retirement goals in order to differentiate between conservative, moderate and high risk investing (has to do with the percentage of your money in equity vs. bonds), which only slightly reduces the number of choices. Kind of like going to the cereal aisle in the grocery store and not having a brand or even a type that you have a preference for beforehand.

It would be easier to pick out investments of course if you had, say, a lump sum of cash that you were just seeking a means of utilizing. Most of us (Tia and I included) don't have that luxury. Investment monies are monies not used for other things like paying down long term debt. In my youth (um, a few months ago before I started thinking about things like finances), I thought of finances simply: 'x' dollars come in, 'y' dollars are owed, 'z' equals the remainder of said dollars to be used or put into savings. Now I think about 'z' a lot more. How much should be allocated towards car loans vs. student loans (after all, student loan interest is deductible)? Should lump sums be paid? How much should be saved? Where should it be saved? What about retirement? Insurance? Rent vs. Buy? Roth IRA vs. 401K vs. wads of bills stuffed into couch cushions? How much cash reserve should be maintained in liquidity (3-6 months evidently)? Having someone to hold our hands through the process has been an enormous help.

What does all this mean............who knows as yet. We are finished putting our pieces in, now we await the final suggestions at our next meeting. One thing we were advised to do was refrain from purchasing a house. In order to do so safely (meaning having sufficient cash reserves in case the sky falls) and have sufficient down payment to secure a loan (a minimum of 10%, though ideally 20%) we would need to have roughly the accrued cash that Scrooge McDuck swims through at the beginning of every episode of Duck Tales. So, theoretically, if we found a $200K home, we would need a minimum of $20K plus closing costs ($5-6K) and enough to float us for 3-6 months should anything happen to one of our jobs (Lets say $15K for 6 months). Theoretically we would need a minimum of $40K and ideally $60K saved up before making a purchase. AS you might imagine, the whole rent vs. buy issue has been resolved.

In other news: We got another new kitten and our last one was just adopted. The new one is named Wynn and is a rabunctuous grey polydactyl (many toes).

Feeling sick this weekend. Both Tia and I have some sort of dry scratchy throat and I have acquired an annoying cough. I feel not great, but at the same time it seemingly refuses to take me down entirely. I would prefer to just have 24 hours of discomfort than this nagging nonsense.

My workmate Gena had her baby. Healthy and 9lbs plus. Work is going well, but it quite hectic since only Erica fully understands everything. I am less than 2 months in and Kelly is less than 3 weeks in, so there are a LOT of questions to be answered. Proves difficult on some of our busier days.

I need to grab something to eat and then lie slothfully about the house the remainder of this rainy Saturday. Hope everyone else is feeling much better than I.

rent vs. buy

Tia and I have been house hunting of late, though hunting seems to focused a word for what we are doing. House browsing perhaps? House window shopping? Maybe house wish listing is most accurate.

Deciding where and how to live is an interesting new phenomena in my life. I have pretty low standards honestly, or have until recently. Heat, roof, kitchen, and preferably quiet when it is supposed to be. Ideally situated somewhere not too far from my place of employment. On my own, I have little enough to fill most spaces, so a one bedroom domicile would have been sufficient (2 would have seemed opulent). Of course, that has changed as I have gotten older and gotten married. Part of getting married is acquiring things, something I have not heretofore been exceedingly proficient in on my own. I don't mean to shine a bad light on it, I just have never owned much more than could fit in my car.......and driving a Rabbit doesn't allow for much.

When seeking a new place to live, nothing about combining the likes and dislikes of two people with moderate means and, therefore, a moderate budget, is simple. 1-2 bedrooms becomes 3. 1 bath becomes 2. Kitchens need to be expansive enough to house gadgets used for specific purposes instead of the catch-all utilitarian pieces I am most acclimated to, room for myriad glassware designed to accomodate a diverse range of beverages must be arranged, and wire baskets of some aesthetic value need to be procured to house something called 'fresh fruit' (which is frequently displayed prominently on the counter). Closets must be capacious enough to accomodate more than my own meager accumulation of clothing (made more robust with Tia doing a majority of my shopping) as well as her own abundant (though not necessarily by the standards of her peer group) array of apparel. Plus, one room with a TV (formerly known as the living room) creates a difficult compromise during football season. Oh yeah, and finding a place that isn't either: A. a dump, B. out in BFE, or C. wildly overpriced seems about as likely as Mensa extending an invite to Jessica Simpson. On top of all of this Tia has critters that require a space that meets their specific environmental requirements while being far enough away from the living space to drown out their nocturnal play and allow me to sleep.

Suffice to say, we aren't having extensive amounts of fortune locating places that we would feel comfortable owning. So, for the time being, Wilsonville apartment dwellers we remain. With the thought of moving from one apartment to another fairly unpalatable, it remains unlikely that renting nearer to Portland seems a possibility either. Maybe next summer, once the rain dries up and the sun peaks out again, it will seem like an alternative worth pursuing. Or maybe by then the house of our dreams, and means, will finally be available.

It has been awhile

I have been having the most difficult time writing lately. Is writer's constipation coined as yet? If not I would like to do so now. I find myself often sitting down to start writing and then drift off to something else. Or, worse yet, I stare at the blank screen straining to think of anything to write and then quickly stumble off into incoherence. Its tough when life is just life, and not some interesting set of new adventures. Common travails don't often make the best blog fodder.

Speaking of life, I am maintaining my equilibrium. Work continues well, though I remain just on the cusp of the long learning curve. Every time I think I master some skill or idea, another one pops up. But, the positivity of the workplace makes it easy to digest. Plus, now my former classmate and current friend Kelly is joining me amongst the ranks of the allergy and asthma employed. It will be fun learning alongside of her.

Tia and I still hem and haw about our living situation, vacillating between remaining renters and owning our own place. Of course, it isn't that we can afford to make that big a change in our situations (and aren't willing to put ourselves in that position when the housing market is less stable than a two-legged chair), so we are talking condo/townhome not stand alone home. So, we won't necessarily escape the very things that make apartment living less than desirable necessarily such as hearing your neighbors television/footsteps/conversations. However, there is something to be said for ownership, even if it is only a tax write-off. Tough call.

The most difficult thing about deciding on a place is that we cannot afford to live in the location that we would ideally like to live. Wilsonville has been nothing if not pleasant, but it isn't exactly near to anything except Wilsonville. The idea of moving into another apartment, even though it may be approximately nearer to our respective jobs isn't appealing either. Whats the point unless we are patently unhappy and we aren't. Just kind of unsatisfied.

I am proud to annouce that I ran my first 5K today. The Race for the Cure Portland. A history of asthma has frequently made the idea of 500 yards daunting, so I was not exactly optomistic about my ability to run it. I cannot say that I was an unabashed success, but I did run the first 2 miles and then the last half or better and finished well under the time limit that I had mentally established pre-race. Now I will need to soak my legs for the next few nights and get a lung transplant, but other than that I feel great!

Have been watching the show Weeds lately.......catching up on it really. Not sure what to think of it. It has definitely changed wildly in tone through the first 2+ seasons. It is entertaining for sure........but in a scattershot sort of manner.

I should really sketch out some ideas before I start typing......I swear I had a grander vision for the post, but if I don't publish it now, god knows when I will. I hope everyone out there is well.

Alexander is gone

Tia seems perpetually involved in charitable causes ever since I have known her. By extension now, I too am involved (albeit to a lesser degree). It is really a nice feeling, and sadly one I would not get to experience without her. I don't consider myself an uncaring or unkind person, but I seemingly lack the ability to turn the concept into anything tangible because I remain largely incapable of committing myself to the obligations necessary to be a good volunteer. Hence, I do things like help with Meals on Wheels during the holidays, took part in painting the cat shelter, helped clean the children's museum, and adopted a family during last year's holidays. The warm fuzzies without the commitment.

The only commitment I have been able to muster in a charitable regard is helping Tia with foster cats/kittens. It is nice to see the animals get adopted off into, hopefully, loving families. Generally they consist of litters of kittens, but this last one was an adult foster named Alexander (though we often just called him Bubba.......no idea why, it just seemed to fit him). He is a hefty cat with diabetes who had lived at the shelter in a small cage for about a year. He doesn't much like other cats, which limited his options for play outside of the cage. He also requires a twice daily dose of insulin and is middle-aged for a cat which, for all intents and purposes, makes him nigh unadoptable. So, we took him in for the foreseeable future to save him from being in the cage (while allowing us the benefit of a pet). Today, he was adopted. It is both a happy day (the new owners seem like a wonderful couple who really want to make the situation work) and sad (he was kind of like one of the family at this point and, despite his limitations, is extremely personable and playful). We will definitely miss having him around, but hopefully another cat will come along that we can also take in. In the interim, I have to get used to being pet free for awhile. Kind of a bummer really.

I went to the volunteer appreciation event for the shelter today with Tia and I am consistently amazed by the wonderful things people have the capacity to do. The gentleman who started the shelter was there (it was his place after all) and talked a bit about starting the shelter some 10 years ago. It has evolved to a point where, not that long ago, they adopted out their 10,000th cat. Truly amazing. Some people donate hundreds of hours a year to their cause. If you are ever out here in Oregon, you should check them out: http://www.catadoptionteam.org/

Time to get my curmudgeonly self to bed. I loathe the idea of Monday morning, but am feeling good about today.

Vegas baby! (now updated with rant.....and flavanoid crystals!)

Just got back from Vegas and had an absolute blast. Not sure when (if) I will find myself there again though. But, I am sure my tacky quotient will dip low again at some point and I will need to replenish myself at the mecca (or hit up Orlando.........its a coin flip). Vegas is the only place I can think of where an ultra trendy upscale mall like the one at Caesar's Palace where stores that I can't afford to even browse in sit alongside of a frozen Daiquiri store and has animatronic shows on the hour (including one character brandishing a sword that was engulfed in real flames). Only ended up down about 50 bones, so not bad overall. Up $50 would have been nicer still.

Vegas is a city of dichotomies in regards to prostitution as well. Despite the fact that prostitution is illegal in Henderson county, advertisements abound promising "girls to your room in less than 20 minutes" through moving billboards and an ungodly amount of pamphlets and various other handouts that festoon the walkways. What reason do these scantily clad (if not entirely unclad) women have to come to your room with such rapidity if not for an exchange of currency and services? I don't know why, but I find the lack of pretense amusing. They at least don't pretend, like in south Florida, that they are running a perfectly legal massage parlor that, oh by the way, happens to have no windows you can see in, a door buzzer, and is open at 3am on a Saturday. Still, how in the hell they can so brazenly advertise without authorities getting involved is beyond me. I personally could care less either way, but either have a law or dont and move on.

It is the same kind of blatant hypocrisy that surrounds other vices in this country. We allow gambling in Oregon, but only certain kinds and only then under the auspices that you are 'helping' some cause or another such as the lottery and the 'assistance' they provide education (a blatant untruth as it often displaces other monies earmarked for education funneling those monites elsewhere and leading to a zero sum gain for education overall) or Native American owned casinos which ostensibly is our belated apology for taking their lands and leaving them a largely destitute community. In other states some version or another of the same thing exists. One of the more amusing things is in the paper every week: the line for football games (and other sports). For what reason, other than gambling, would you need to know that Indianapolis was favored this weekend by 6pts? If you weren't betting on it, would you really need to know anything other than who the person in the paper thinks might win? Yet, you can only gamble on sports legally in a very few places in the country.

Drugs are another vice that we can't seem to find a stance on that makes any sense. How, for instance, can something that we know has no positive health association, cigarettes, be legal whereas something that has some positive effects (pain relief, increasing appetite in cancer patients), marijuana, be illegal? How can we sell liquor all week, but not on Sunday (in Florida at least, with other states having their own curious laws) until noon? How can we tell people that drinking is ok, but not until you are 21 years old because they aren't old enough for the responsibility while, at the same time, asserting that those same people are adult enough to go to war? To kind of tie it all together, how do we manage to say that prostitution as a whole is illegal, while pornography, where 2 consenting adults (or more) are being paid to have sex on camera, is completely legal?

My own views on all these things is the same: I view them all with a libertarian bend. So long as you aren't affecting me, I don't care. We all view things through our own moral lens. One drink a night might seem excessive to some, while to others it is part of a healthy adult lifestyle. Same with weekend bingers. Some will view a person who has three or four beers a night to be a functional member of society unwinding after a long day, while viewing the same person who smokes a joint as shameful. Is it really ok to buy lottery tickets and scratch offs but not ok to bet on the winner of a football game? If so, why? I don't have an answer, but I cannot help but laugh at our inane attempts to continue to have our cake and eat it too, all while trying clinging desperatively to the idea that there is an acceptable measurement of just how much cake is enough.

Got together with some old classmates who, serendipitously, moved to Portland. It is so nice to catch up without the spector of classes hanging over us one and all. Plus, both are just pleasant to be around. It will be nice to have some fellow travellers on the road as we all begin to navigate the profession here in town.

Off to another early sunrise.

Routine

Work is getting into a routine of sorts, though that isn't to say I know how to do some of the finer things as yet. Patient history - check. Vitals - check. Injections - check. ID testing -check. Blood draws - inc. Billing - inc. Epinephrine injections - check. Solu-medrol - ? Blood workups - ? etc etc. Actually, routine probably isn't wholly accurate representation of my days as it conveys some semblance of repetition, which there are aspects of, but two patients are never alike, so no day is exactly the same as the one preceding it. I have seen now a few anaphylactic reactions to food challenges. I have seen an irate customer raging about how the front desk staff was treating him. I have seen patients whose pathos lies largely between their ears and not in any tangible sense. I have seen others who have horrid symptoms and the most positive outlook imaginable. It is the kind of care I like though: patient in/patient out.

A typical day begins with my arrival followed shortly thereafter by setting up the ID testing syringes, and then starting to take patients back. At some point, lunch happens (though it is often truncated, which at least isn't time deducted), and then a steady stream of patients continue to filter through until, miraculously, there aren't anymore. Then it is time to go through all the charts and fill out billing sheets and the like, tidy up, and finally head home. Lately, most days have run in the 10+ hour range, but only three of those such days exist in a given week. The other 2 days are typically around 5 hours apiece (though one begins at 6:45am, which is tantamount to waterboarding as far as I am concerned).

I will leave you with two blogs that I think are hilarious. Take a peek. Great time wasters:
http://lovelylisting.blogspot.com/

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

90 days and 100 degrees

I did not know it was possible to be this hot in Portland. I have seen the temperature edge past the 100 degree mark on occasion here, but not for days at a time. The weather online suggested it got up to 107. I might as well move to Phoenix!

I agree wholeheartedly with the concept behind the phrase, "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." The idea being that we are at fault if we don't learn from our initial missteps (or other people's chicanery as the case may be). I wish I would not continually find myself going through the first go round of being fooled however. I found out today at HR (I have been working for the past week) that my benefits don't start for 90 days from hire. All of them. I had never encountered that before, so I had not even considered positing that question at interview or since, especially since it was not brought up by the other staff members or the doctor. Working in the medical field it seems rather ludicrous. I don't think the intent was malicious, but rather an oversight. When I mentioned it to Tia, she seemed to find this a fairly ordinary circumstance of employment. So, now we have to pay a fairly considerable monthly sum to add me back to Tia's insurance lest my gall bladder be non-covered with my new insurance as a pre-existing condition. I have to admit it right now, being a grown-up can be a REAL bummer. I realize how little concept I have of things like health care, 401K, and all the other things to do with employment and being a grown up except for pay rate and time off. Maybe I need to just move to a country with socialized medicine and a social safety net and call it done. Clearly the capitalist system is beyond my grasp at the moment and disappoints me at every turn.

Other than the considerably disappointing news regarding my health care, the job itself is going swimmingly. I thoroughly enjoy the patient interaction, the spectrum of care, and the other members of the staff as well as my supervisor. The hours are, for the most part, quite agreeable as well (though Friday morning's early start time is an adjustment that I have not been able to make as yet). I still haven't completed all facets of training, but I have now done a few blood draws, a number of ID (intra-dermal) tests, which are very much like TB tests in that you are injecting a fluid (in this case an allergen) under the surface of the skin. Only, instead of a single wheal, each patient may get as many as thirty such injections at a time. Needless to say, it takes awhile. I have also done a few of the allergy injections and a lot of the general patient information, pulmonary function testing, and assorted other tasks. There is still a lot to learn, but at least I feel like I am making progress instead of feeling constantly befuddled.

I am o ff to sit directly in front of the fan. You stay classy blogosphere.

A creative way to deal with pubic lice

I have been meaning to sit down and actually write about my new job and the experiences I have had thus far there.......but that time isn't tonite. I hope maybe tomorrow. In the meantime, a short story to amuse:
Evidently one of the phone nurses were called (some months ago) about a patient who had contracted pubic lice 'crabs'. What happened next takes an astounding mind to come to grips with: he sprayed his genitals with a can of RAID bug spray! I can only guess what the thought processes were behind the act: "This stuff kills bugs, I have bugs living in my pubic hair................hmmmm, I have an idea that is cheap and readily available! What could possible go wrong?" Needless to say, this did not end particularly well. Lets hope that one with so keen an intellect as he has no future opportunities to spread his lice (or his DNA) around...........I think one of this person in the world is enough :)

No ass work

I was reading a book that summed out very succinctly my primary problem with my profession: 'ass work.' Ass work encompasses all manner of fecal matter centered job duties. Ass work, the author posited, was the reason she did not pursue a health care career. Ass work, for me it seems, is the reason I have such troubles finding suitable employ. In my mind, I went to too much school and paid too much money for my education to be doing ass work on a regular basis. It is such a conundrum when seeking hospital employ that I would probably be best served to headline my resume with 22pt boldfaced font: Not interested in any ass work! in order to circumvent any problems should I wish to return to a hospital. If that statement should be at all unclear, I should also sum up any interview with: "So, the pay and benefits sound good, and the hours are acceptable but, I have to know, is any ass work involved?" What I enjoy thus far about my new position beyond the fact that it seems to actually be a job that falls within my range of interests is that the possibility of any ass work is as remote as the possibility of me working overnights on Christmas eve. Very exciting news indeed!

Funyuns vs. Responsibilityuns

Well, I got the job at the Asthma and Allergy clinic. For some reason I tend to interview well. I just don't tend to get overly nervous I guess. Who knows? If I had a secret that I could sell, believe me I would. I just tend to get the jobs if I can get some face time.

The job itself could not be a better fit to my interests (or maladies for that matter). Hard to say if it will ultimately work out in the long run (the only way to find out is to start really), but I had a chance to talk with the nurses without the doctor around and they were raving about her. They both had experience working at hospitals before and did not enjoy it (one in a PICU, the other in a general med/surg) and have found contentment at the clinic working for this particular doctor. They spoke very highly of the learning opportunities there as well and seemed thrilled to have me on board. Then I spoke with the doctor and she was very pleasant as well. She has an impressive resume and seems genuine in her desire to train up her staff to act as not just nurses, but practitioners. Evidently she is quite specialized and has people who fly in from all over the country to seek her care. As a bonus, I was promised no diaper changes or colostomy bags and free allergy shots to boot! Oh yeah, and holidays off.

Tia is pretty upset with me about the move. She feels like she wasn't consulted and that I just did what I wanted to do without thinking about the ramifications. I understand and cannot legitimately argue the point, but it just kind of who I am. I tend to be ruled more by emotion than practicality. It is why I would be the one most likely to drop everything to go to nursing school and she would be the one to make sure I saw the idea through. We usually balance each other out well. However, in this situation, I wish she had the confidence in me to find my way and not leave her holding the financial bag so to speak and she no doubt wishes I would be less capricious and not cause us undo financial stress by finding alternative employment prior to letting go of my current job. Ultimately, I know I am being selfish by thinking about my happiness and putting that as primary above all else. I need to think more in terms of 'us' now that I am married. It is just a hard transition to make. She is more practical and is being selfish in her own right by thinking about the money that I will be losing by not working at a hospital rather than my general discontent. Hopefully it ends up being one of those painful learning opportunities that will be to both our benefit.

The whole thing, for some absurd reason, makes me think of an Onion article about snack foods. Feel free to read up as well: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28574

I have to deal with my decision tomorrow with WF. I dread it of course, but I need to do what I need to do.

Start Thursday at the clinic. Posts to follow shortly.

Tossing cookies (those with delicate sensibilities are forewarned)

Well, today was the day. I knew it would happen sooner or later and it finally did........I lost my lunch (both figuratively and, later, literally). I was assigned with a patient with a colostomy bag and I had to empty it. The process of emptying the colostomy bag was not unlike the process of emptying the toothpaste from the tube except replace toothpaste with, well you get the general idea. Suffice to say, for me and my own sensitive stomach regarding all things fecal (just typing this is exercising my gag reflex and sending cool shivers down my spine), it was a quick trip to the bathroom as soon as I was finished.

It wasn't for another hour plus that I went to lunch, still queasy from my experience. I thought that putting something in my stomach might prove advantageous and settle the gastrointestinal tumult. Alas, thinking has never been a strong suit. I quickly found myself praying to the porcelain gods yet again. I spent the next 15 minutes outside under a tree wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into.

What does all this mean? Hard to say. I know there are many many aspects to nursing that I truly love and feel very competent in. I am good with patients, alaris pumps, and medication calculations. I work well with walkie-talkies. I am far less comfortable with ADL care (inclusive of the aforementioned poo) for the bedridden and incontinent which, unfortunately, encompasses a fair amount of the work done at this particular hospital. They never have enough CNAs (and sometimes none at all) and so the tasks normally assigned them (see ADL care above) are within the common purview of the nurses. It is unfortunate and unpleasant. I would not mind (well, I would mind some, but not nearly enough to justify a change in position) if the instances of ADL care were occasional rather than routine......but I wouldn't be concerned enough to write about it were that the case.


I am actively seeking other employment and just as vigorously debating whether or not to continue my employment with WF into tomorrow, let alone until I find something else. I know that my patient, and her colostomy, await. My stomach is churning just thinking about it.

hmmm.........interesting

It is really REALLY nice to have a day off today after having the most hellacious day I have been a part of in school or out of it on Tuesday (granted, it isn't a great breadth of experience). It is hard to explain, other than that everyone has had THAT day at some, or multiple, points in their lives. It seemed like no matter what small problem was taken care of, another one (or two or three) took its place. Even simple tasks like pushing a med through an IV line ended up taking hours as veins collapsed or IV lines were no longer patent (both on the same patient at different times during the day). For every patient awaiting discharge, two more were returning from surgery. Amidst it all there are mountains of paperwork that, somehow, you are supposed to be able to complete. I can see it on 1 patient or 2........but how you manage it on 4 or 5 is beyond me. I am guessing things aren't always entirely thorough. Just a guess.

Scrub shopping as a man is.........well, like regular shopping as a man. Most stores are 90-95% women's clothing, which are more elaborate, made with seemingly more high quality materials, and are infinitely more aesthetically pleasing. I am not asking for something with ridiculous flair or inventiveness, but it is kind of a bummer that my only options are solid colors with either 1 or 3 pockets. Couldn't they be punched up with some designs from Nike or Adidas or something? Women's scrubs are designed by Baby Phat and Grey's Anatomy to name a few. Men's scrubs look like they were designed in 1962 by a 3rd grader with remedial drawing skills and the 8 color Crayola pack and they called it done. I am just saying.

I had an interesting call today. A clinic that deals with Asthma and allergy patients called about a resume I submitted. I have an interview Tuesday of next week. Hmmm..........interesting. Having both conditions, I am acutely interested. The job will likely pay less, but afford more regular hours (translation: 5 days a week when people who don't live off of the blood of other people are awake). I will find out more on Tuesday and will, of course, post about it. In the meantime, it at least affords me something to mull over as I spend 4 of the next 6 days in the hospital and try to get a stronger feel for whether or not it is the kind of place I want to call home, or if it was just a place to pass through on my journey.

Warm & Fuzzy

Just wanted to give a brief and sincere shout out to everyone who reads this blog and was able to make it out to our Portland reception. It was so wonderful to see everyone and my only regret is that I didn't have more time to spend talking with everyone individually. A special thank you to my mother-in-law Diane who was one of the chief orchestrators of the day from arranging the food to prep and clean up. Another special thank you to everyone who was there early to help set-up and those who stayed late to help clean up. Everyone pitched in to make it a wonderful day. It makes me feel all wamr and fuzzy to know that so many people carved time out of their schedules to celebrate with us.

My blogging has been a bit, well, patchwork of late. Owing to family visits, my new job, and the fact that my laptop needs a defibrillator or an exorcism. I think it is on the way to the laptop graveyard. I had hoped to at least sell it to pay for a bit of whatever I buy (have Apple Macbook taste, but have low end Gateway money), but now I will be lucky to salvage anything from it. I am still awaiting word from Costco, but the situation looks grim. Then again, the last time I thought that I still managed to pass the NCLEX.

The new job: what to say? what to say? Where to start might be more appropriate. The first day was as terrifying and chaotic as my first day in nursing school. At least I am getting paid instead of the other way around though. Willamette Falls does not operate like other hospitals I have been exposed to. Most hospitals have a very defined start-up process and it flows in a distinctly linear fashion. Spend 'x' number of days learning hospital policies. Spend 'x' number of days learning nursing policies. Spend 'x' number of days on skill and equipment training. Then, and only then, do you go to the floor to start your mentorship. Not so at WF. They sporadically, and seemingly haphazardly, orient new grads to both hospital and nursing policies and equipment. I am not sure the theory behind it, but I suppose it could be effective if you have fundamentally sound preceptors who are effective teachers. If not, well......it could be a long hard road.

Day 1 was spent on the unit. I was paired with a nurse who was not supposed to be paired with me per se. Unfortunately, the nurse I was supposed to be paired with was out for whatever reason. Not to denigrate the job performance of the nurse I did work with, but she was clearly not a teacher, but rather a doer. I found myself bounding along behind her like a duckling following its mom. I had no idea where anything was. I had no time to look over charts. I had no clue how to work a majority of the equipment and I still have no idea what exactly the nurses role is at WF (they were short CNAs and a lot of the normal CNA duties fell to the nurse from what I could gather..........which meant that, to my chagrin, it was not a poop free day). Hopefully this will come into focus much like when they are flipping lenses at the optometrist (usually that analogy, right now I would be the equivalent of blindfolded......in a cave.........during the winter months at the north pole. Things aren't fuzzy or blurry, they just aren't period).

Day 2 was a new grad class. It was fortuitous that I had one early on. They taught us how to use the phones, log on to the computer, and access some basic services for patients. Some people had been there for better than 6-8 weeks without such training. Makes me wonder what I won't be learning until I am there that long. Hopefully nothing critical. In the meantime, I will just try to keep my head above water. I will keep everyone as posted as I can.

I am off to Ambien dreams. Nothing like an EARLY Monday morning to make me damn near tear up in joy (wait, I meant misery not joy). Cannot wait until I start working the swing shift. Sweet sweet slumber.

Wish me a poop free day if you think about it.

Work

I finally made a decision on Friday, and decided that I would prefer to work at a smaller hospital with less acuity and a more communal (hopefully) feel. Plus, it was closer and, much to my shock since I had been led to believe otherwise, it paid more. I was aided on this decision mostly by my mother-in-law who (and is this kismet?) happened to speak to a nurse that not only worked for the hospital I chose (Willamette Falls), but also used to work for the one I did not opt for (Salem). Her opinion was that WF was the better choice and the better environment. Of course, as the saying goes, "opinions are like assholes, everyone has one." So, her opinion could be biased (maybe she got fired from Salem or found it overwhelming) or it could be objective (maybe WF is truly superior), but either way it was incredibly fortuitous and definitely tipped the scales.


I went and filled out background check info on Wednesday. Peed in a cup on Friday (and then proceeded to get ridiculously sloshed at a happy hour). Got called on Monday to come in Tuesday (today). Start work on Thursday. Will be freaking out tomorrow most likely (right after I buy some scrubs that is, since I have only two pair of pants presently).

The hospital's orientation is unlike any that I have seen. It is not structured in a linear manner. Typically there is an orientation to the hospital for a few days followed by a unit orientation followed by a going to the floor. At WF, I will spend Thursday shadowing on the floor, Friday I do a hospital training, and then Monday I am back on the floor. I spend most of the next 8 weeks on the unit, with a few days sprinkled in of hospital orientation and nursing orientation. Time to knock of the rust and put on a good show. Hope I'm not supposed to actually 'know' much :)

I will write more as I know more (and if my laptop can be brought back from the dead). In the meantime, wish me luck. I am wishing the same for all my cohorts who are starting out as well.

the vagaries of the insurance system explained

Well, not really of course. I doubt it could be explained by anyone, let alone me such is the labyrinthine nature of our current system. For example: if you have a car accident and you cause $6000 worth of damage to your vehicle and you have a $1000 deductible, you owe $1000 and the insurance company pays the remaining $5000. Simple math. However, if you have health insurance, the copays become much more convoluted. With the same deductible, you could pay many thousands more because certain things are excepted from the deductible and others are covered at a percentage over the deductible to a fixed cap. So, returning to the car analogy, it would be as though you did the $6000 in damage, but it excluded airbags, the radio, and the transmission, but covered the rest at a fixed percentage up to the $6000 dollars. You could end up covering $3000-$4000 even though you had a $1000 deductible.

To make matters worse, information such as how much procedures cost is a closely guarded secret coded in a way that would make Dan Brown jealous. Lets go back to cars (must be on the brain tonight). When you go to purchase a car, you have a wealth of information available to you in regards to price. You have the MSRP at the dealership, the invoice, the actual costs and can find out even more if you are willing to invest the time. You can read copious reviews as well and also check out other dealerships to see what prices they will offer you. You can, in effect, make an informed decision based on actual information. If only going to get medical treatments operated in a similar manner. Instead, it is like going to buy a car without even knowing how much a car should cost in the first place, have no information on the window sticker to remotely guide you as to the purchase price, knowing nothing about vehicles quality or reliability, and, if given a choice of other places to purchase the car, you are afforded no information as to whether the other vehicle is better or cheaper. To truly drive the point home, you wouldnt even find out how much the car costs until you get a bill a month later telling you what you owe (at which point you are required to pay it regardless of how fair or unfair it may seem).

What does all this even mean..........well, it means I will not be getting my gall bladder out on Friday very likely because: A. We evidently already owe better than $1000 for everything leading up to this point and B. The gall bladder removal may be up to a few thousand more. This, by the way, is with insurance and a $1000 deductible. I would like to have the procedure and move on with my life, but that isnt exactly the kind of money I have lying about at the moment and, all things considered, I am much improved to a point that I don't deem it critically necessary (thankfully considering the cost). Hopefully, down the line my hospital job will offer better health benefits...........or at the very least I will have enough income to cover the procedure. Until then, why does insurance have to be so bloody complex?!?!?

The results are in........

and I passed! Miraculously it seems (at least to me). Honestly, I would have given at least 3 to 1 against. That is how confident I was that I did not get enough questions right to warrant licensure. In the end, I got the maximum number of questions, 265 question in all, and spent more than 3 hours glued to a computer screen. At 100, I started to panic. At 150, it all started to seem kind of unreal. Once I reached 200 questions, I just thought it was becoming sadistic. By the end, I thought there was utterly no hope. It was much like getting repeatedly kicked in the groin. I was fully prepared to suck it up and start studying again. Why? Well, because it seemed that I studied all the wrong things.

I studied diabetes thoroughly...........I got maybe 1 or 2 questions. I studied OB and peds, learning as much as I could retain about eclampsia, HELLP syndrome, and developmental levels. I worried over lab values. I took practice test after practice test and saw no familiarity at all with the questions I was presented with. I could well have just read what I wanted to read and enjoyed my time off instead. But, ultimately, something must have stuck. Either that or the computer program just felt sorry for me.

All there is to say now is that it is OVER!!!!!! I am licensed (and to think a year ago I was just learning to take blood pressure). Now I can relax for 6-8 hours and then try to figure out where I am going to work.............and then get my gall bladder removed............and then learn a new job. I really like to pack the stress in.

crackers!

Off to take my test (gulp).

Need an opinion......or many

Well, the good news is I was offered another position at a closer hospital. The bad news is that I still have no real information about nearly every aspect of said position because, for whatever reason, Willamette Falls (WF) is being incredibly secretive about it. Perhaps I didn't impress upon the HR representative enough that I would like to make a decision soon and need tangible information to do so. Instead, I get a benefits summary from them that pretty much states I REALLY wanted to post some actual information about both jobs and then elicit some opinions, but instead I am left with very little basis for comparison.

What I know now:

Salem:
3-12hr shifts (7pm-7:30am)
Position: cardiac telemetry (high acuity and specialization)
Nurse/Patient ratio: goal is 1 to 4
Pay rate= $1.01/per hour more than WF
Differential = $5.01/per hour for working nights (18%), $5.85/hr weekend nights (21%)
Insurance cost= $43.00/medical, $7.90/dental, $3.00/vision - monthly total= $53.90
Driving distance = 50 miles additional a week
Paid time off: 23 days a year (plus two additional floater days every anniversary)
Retirement: 0% year 1, 5.5% years 1-4 with escalations periodically thereafter

Willamette Falls
5-8hr shifts (11pm-7:30am)
Position: Medical/Surgical (higher variety, lower acuity)
Nurse/Patient ratio: goal is 1 to 5 or 6 at night
Pay rate = $1.01 less per hour, but increases by 7% year 2
Differential = despite my repeated requests, no information provided
Insurance costs = WF pays a percentage of insurance costs (there was a scene in the Simpsons I remember when Lisa was visiting the headquarters of a newspaper on a field trip and poses the following query after reading a sign saying a percentage of the newspaper is printed on recycled materials: Lisa "what percentage is recycled?" Newspaper woman "Zero. Zero is a percentage." Makes me wonder what percentage is covered when no information is given.)
Driving distance = 50 miles less per week, but more overall days of commuting
Paid time off: 24 days a year
Retirement: 1-4% (another vague figure)

Neither job is exactly what I want to do, but the jobs that I want to do aren't, at this point in my nursing career, possible. So, in the meantime, it is all about getting some experience.

I would love to hear any opinions. i know there really isn't enough information to make a fair comparison (think how I feel trying to decide between them). Please drop me a comment if you have one (I now allow anonymous comments........unbeknownst to me, I didn't before. So please, comment away).

As there is nothing new

Very little has changed of late.........and that isn't a bad thing. After two months of constant upheaval, it is nice to have a settled routine of sorts. Between studying, looking for nursing jobs, and working at PRE, things are pretty mellow. Of course, that all changes this weekend when I become a complete and total stress monkey, but until then it is blessed tranquility.

In lieu of an update of the normal sort, I thought I would just post on something that I like: movies. I am definitely one of those people who love movies enough that, if one is on TV that I like, I have no qualms about picking it up right in the middle and watching it to the end. Only certain movies make the cut of course..........and they aren't all cinematic masterpieces. This list is not comprehensive in the slightest, but I need a break from my studies and I thought I would share some of my favorites (in no particular order):

Cool Hand Luke: Is there a better classic guy movie? Arguments can be made I am sure, but before Paul Newman was a purveyor of many fine charitably minded consumables, he was a badass with an iron resolve that proved that, yes, a man can eat fifty eggs (and Kobayashi later proved he can eat 70 hot dogs as well).

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: Like escargot or Spam, it is an acquired taste. Some people may never acquire it, and while people like myself would find it a shame, those people probably aren't that broken up about the fact (hey, I hate octopus........but it doesn't adversely impact my epicurean enjoyment). It is a reason to love Johnny Depp as an actor who is so immersed in Hunter Thompson as a character I would wonder if Hunter would have performed much differently himself. If you are willing, it is worth the ride. Maybe have a drink or two first.

Very Bad Things: The words dark or black comedy get thrown around a little too liberally. Very few movies reach the inspired heights (or depths dependent on view) of a true black comedy. I can recall only a small handful that didnt make a sudden turn and end on an up note or some other pointless treacle. This one doesn't. If anything, the ending is a rousing affirmation of
all that leads up to it. Karma is a bitch.

Apocalypse Now: This film is dark and deeply disturbing and also incredibly well constructed with standout performances and some cinematic moments that are indelibly etched in hollywood history. The song 'Riders on the Storm" was virtually reinvented.

300: Pure popcorn. 2-D characters and ultimately forgettable save for the CGI and the physical look of the film. A comic book come to life.

Anchorman: I have heard it said before and I couldn't agree more fervently: the Caddyshack of my generation. Spectacularly quotable and deliciously offbeat. You will never think of San Diego the same way again. A comedy that holds up to repeated viewings, which is saying something.

Tombstone: A movie that would be good, but not great, were it not for Val Kilmer's Doc Holliday. He was to this film what Johnny Depp was to Pirates. Worth it for the scenes he is in and when the revenge heats up at the end.

Chasing Amy: Technically, this film is a disaster. No real cinematography and an amateur feel. Smith is no auteur to be certain. But, the dialogue is punchy and Jason Lee is hilarious. I am not saying much by saying this, but it is probably the best 'acting' that Ben Affleck has done as well.

Shawshank Redemption: In my mind, the most perfect film on the list. Sublimely acted and incredibly well-acted with a story that is more than a wink and a nod to the Count of Monte Cristo's style of revenge. The redemption at the end always gets to me. It is the book brought to life.

Fight Club & Seven: Both have Brad Pitt and both were directed by David Fincher so I tie them together despite little else in common. Both still resonates after repeated viewings.

Just my Luck: Lindsay Lohan's finest perform...............who am I kidding. I cant even pretend I saw it, let alone liked it. Just seeing if anyone read this far :)

If my sanity holds, I will post when more becomes apparent with jobs, exams and the like.

4th of July update

My updates have been quite scattershot of late owing largely to the fact that my life has been quite scattershot of late. There is a definite lack of focus, because so much seems to be going on. Between dealing with medical issues, trying to unpack the house, buying all the little things that you don't think about (hard to hang up a shower curtain without a the rings), and NCLEX practice, my life feels so weirdly unfocused after having school be the center of everything for a year.

Today, as most days, I should be studying. Of course, I have a fairly legitimate excuse today as, despite the holiday, they are doing seemingly unending lawn maintenance at the apartment complex. Most exasperatingly, in spite of the size of the complex, it seems a majority of the work is being done around the building my apartment is in. I don't think it would be much louder if they were doing the work in my actual apartment. Of course, without a/c my choices are muted noise and uncomfortable temperatures or windows open and the waves or grating chainsaw noise mixed with other lawn implements. I know I am just bitching, but it is a skill that I have and i would hate to dull it with disuse.

In other news, the clock is now set for the end of my time with my gall bladder: July 18th. We had some good times together, all you can eat pizza buffets, BBQ, and po boy sandwiches to name but a few, but like all relationships there comes a time that you either have to make a commitment or go your separate ways. I wasn't willing to deal with his moodiness and mercurial nature. He wasn't able to handle me...........uh, eating things. It just wasn't meant to be.

I started working finally.........though not as a nurse just yet (pesky NCLEX test still in the way). It feels nice to earn an income. It has been more than a year since that has happened. I am working at PRE for a bit to help them out and ensure that I can at least put gas in my car. It seems like a nice place. Very familial. It makes me wonder what Salem hospital (or wherever I end up) will be like. Finding a workplace is like trying out a new bed. You can lay on them at the store and get an idea that which beds are comfortable and which ones are not......but until you spend some time sleeping on them, you honestly don't know. It isn't until a couple of weeks go by (at least) that the veneer of newness dissipates and the reality of the job sets in. It will be nice to at least see the place on the 8th. Of course, since I am supposed to start there on the 21st and my gall bladder is being removed on the 18th, discussions may have to ensue about just how long I can postpone starting (or if I can at all). I have heard nothing back from any of the other places I have applied thus far.

Hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July.

Addition by subtraction (ode to a gall bladder)

The votes have been tallied and the results are in...........I don't have eosinophilic esophagitis. But, before I hire a clown and a pony, I am not in the clear as yet. The doctor suggested that I do have a teensy problem: gallstones. I am to consult with a surgeon to discuss my options, with the most likely event occurring being the removal of my gall bladder. Fortunately, the gall bladder is considered non-essential (kind of like paparazzi, the Golf channel, and Paris Hilton) and the surgery is pretty routine. I actually watched one during a surgical rotation which seemed relatively benign. With some Versed, I doubt I will even much care.

The odd thing is that the typical risk factors are not remotely related to me even in a second cousins twice removed sort of way. they include the following:

• women—especially women who are pregnant, use hormone replacement therapy, or take birth control pills - Still stand when I pee, so this is out
  
• people over age 60 - not unless we are counting in months
  
• American Indians - I am the WHITEST person I know
  
• Mexican Americans - see above
  
• overweight or obese men and women - I'll admit to a daliance above the recommended BMI, but I wasn't the headless body you see on stock news footage about the overweight
  
• people who fast or lose a lot of weight quickly - not until after I had problems
  
• people with a family history of gallstones - gotta get out the family medical tree to check that
  
• people with diabetes - not so much
  
• people who take cholesterol-lowering drugs - again, not me
  

So, I have anywhere from 0 to 0.2 risk factors and yet am afflicted. I am a medical marvel that way. Of course, I know that risk factors are just that, factors. They only mean that it is more likely to occur with these conditions present. At least there is a direction to move towards. In the meantime, I will post more when I know more.

I had a job interview yesterday. Kind of spur of the moment. Dropped off the application Thursday afternoon and had an interview on Friday afternoon. Wouldn't it be nice if it always happened that way? Hell, even Blockbuster video usually takes a few weeks. I didn't get the job........but I also didn't not get the job. I am assuming they are interested since they asked for my references. Akin to asking for a second date. Why bother unless you wanted to see the person again? It is a general medical/surgical position at Willamette Falls hospital in Oregon City. Would be nights and 8-hour shifts (think 11p-7a). As always, more info here when I learn more.

A bird in the hand

I was waiting to post my next blog hoping to have a diagnosis and, very hopefully.......almost deliriously so, to be starting treatment of some kind that I could report. Of course, medicine doesn't often work like it does on TV, and mostly waiting is all you do. In the meantime, I have stopped my dramatic weight loss and am leveling out thanks to the magic of Zofran. Had you asked me if I EVER thought I would see 165lbs a month ago, I would have said only when the dial on the scale is flying past it. Now I am just hoping to stay somewhat entrenched there.

My job situation is still murky. I have ZERO idea what to do. I have the proverbial bird in the hand situation. I have a job that I am none too thrilled with. Bad location, long commute, and the ham-handed way in which the hospital appears to be run. However, I have debts and expenses that I am obligated to deal with. On the other hand, there are a lot of jobs out there.......as soon as I get my license that is. Some that seem like far better options than Salem.........some that, to me, are far less appealing. None are guarantees of course (though the paperwork hasn't been signed at Salem either, so that could be little more than conceptual as well). So, I could give up a somewhat certainty for the prospect of the job hunt, or I could accept my current circumstances and continue to seek while employed. Of course, neither will matter unless I pass the NCLEX. But I would rather not stress about that awful elephant in the room at the moment. What to do? What to do?

The only other mildly interesting event has been a move into YET another apartment. I genuinely feel too old for the suburban apartment at this point. The idea of renting something in a location that affords you easy access to public transit, walking distance to local pubs and restaurants, and a certain cache is still appealing, but this place has none of that. Of course, what it does have is space, relatively reasonable cost, ample covered parking, community events and a short-term lease. It will be easier to look once I have my job situation settled. In the meantime, I have definitely lived in a lot less pleasant apartments than this one. Having a washing machine is also a spectacular bonus.

Congrats to all my classmates that have passed the NCLEX already. It can be done. I hope to join your ranks soon.

Its a Boy!

No, I am not having a baby........but I did have an ultra-sound today. Very interesting. At least the goo used to smoothly maneuver the wand around was warmed and the woman didn't press down on my stomach too firmly (it is a sore point.......literally a sore point, and all the doctors seem required by some sadistic medical code to press firmly down repeatedly like they are kneading dough). Friday is my endoscopy. At least that comes with a side of anesthesia.

As a continuing auxiliary storyline, my weight continues to plummet. Though no hip urban youth am I, I am now required to walk around hiking up my jeans periodically lest they tumble off of me. Why not just use a belt you might ask? Still packed away. Sweat pants are on the agenda. Also on the agenda, a mounting list of places that I intend to gorge myself at once my stomach stops offering resistance to every single morsel that passes my lips. Goodbye baby food, hello BBQ!

Loving my new car. So much fun to drive. Highly recommend the Rabbit thus far (long term is questionable). Lots of fun extras and spectacular get-up-and-go. Kick ass!

A night in the ER

I love to do research. I think I made that abundantly clear when looking up cars. To further the thought, I figured I would take my research one more step along the chain and be admitted to the ER so I could 'research' what it was like to be a patient. Also, I was severely dehydrated and in a considerable amount of abdominal pain.

Thankfully, I did not have to spend the night in the ER (even though they have a fairly broad selection of cable channels). I was released into my wife and mother-in-laws care after about 500ml of fluid, some morphine for the pain, and some Phenergan for nausea. Blood tests remain inconclusive. In the meantime, I was told to try different pills for GERD and combine that with lots of fluids (so many flavors of sports drinks to choose from.......this morning I am imbibing something called Arctic Shatter. The name implies it should taste like something arctic ala penguins or whatever else is artic in nature but in reality just tastes like lemonade. It was clearly named after one of GW's failed attempts to drill for crude oil on the Arctic shelf). I am also allowed to finally eat..........with the only caveat being that i am allowed to eat baby food. It isnt as bad as I had feared, but feels ridiculous. Life has a way of making you giggle despite the circumstances.

In better news, I finally found a car. I hope, unlike my computer, it is not a lemon. I ended up with an 07 Rabbit. It is fun t drive and fairly practical, though it has a lot of bells and whistles from the prior owner (17" alloy tires, an Ipod adapter, Electronic Stability Control, a sunroof, and fun Rabbit specific mats). I am bummed that it only comes in black, but I didnt have much choice in that regard even with a new car. I hope all turns out well with it.

Off to lunch. Pureed carrots perhaps?

12lbs

This represents the amount of weight I have lost in the past few weeks. I managed, through GERD, to do something I couldn't do with exercise and diet......see the southern side of 170lbs. Hello healthy BMI!

This miracle diet is not for sale on the internet or via a 1-800 number on some late night infomercial. I will, free of charge, share my diet secrets with you! (plus $19.95 shipping and handling which is fully refundable when hell freezes over).

Its a simple 4 step process:

1. Eat
2. Feel indescribable discomfort and pain
3. Expel all food
4. Lose all interest in eating

Its just that simple. No counting points. No fad diets that won't work later. Results are 100% guaranteed.

Please eat something for me...........anything at all.

The car report

I love love LOVE reading reviews before I buy anything of any real value. It is almost an incessant need. I have to compare, and re-compare until I feel like I get the best deal for the best product (or at least the best product deal notwithstanding). The same goes for cars, except a car purchase has a lot to do with feel and personal style as well (I have never purchased a toaster or a DVD player based on that). With that said, as much as I loathe dealing with car salesman as a whole (and that is not a blanket statement..........here in Portland I have found 3 dealerships that I would not hesitate to recommend to anyone: Wentworth Subaru, Wilsonville Toyota, and, so-far, Herzog-Meier Volkswagen/Mazda), I genuinely enjoy test driving the cars. As much as you can possibly read about a car or look at pictures online, nothing replaces the experience of sitting behind the wheel, fiddling with all the knobs, opening all the compartments, cranking up the stereo, and taking it out for a test drive.

I thought it would be kind of fun to rank the cars I have test driven. Let me say first off that there are lots of professional review sites around and I would be the first to warn anyone from taking my opinions as though their author held a modicum of automotive expertise. I don't know a camshaft from valve train and I have no idea what torque has to do with the driving experience, but I know what I like.

I had a few criteria when looking:
1. It could not cost more than $20K. I know this seems like an arbitrary number, and thats because it absolutely is. It is just the line in the sand that I cannot make myself cross.

2. It could not cost less than $17K. Also a completely arbitrary number, but it seems a very clear dividing line within this affordable class of cars. According to most sites there are about two dozen cars under $20K, but most under $17K dont have the creature comforts that I want in a car.

3. I crossed out any car that did not receive at least marginal reviews (sorry Chevy Aveo, Cobalt, and Saturns).

Without further ado:

8. 2009 Toyota Corolla LE ($17,500): There is not much to say about this car other than it is like Vanilla ice cream or plain cheese pizza (can you tell I am hungry): it gets the job done, but there are far more appealing options. The steering was vague the driving experience solid if utterly ordinary. The interior was cheap in look and feel. The only upside was the refreshed exterior styling (which was nothing extraordinary, but seemed so in comparison to the interior) and the stellar gas mileage.

7. 2008 Hyundai Elantra SE ($17,300): The Elantra aims at the Corolla according to reviews and, according to me, they should aim higher. I rank this only slightly ahead numerically, but in reality it was far superior. The interior was pleasant if not overwhelming. The exterior was about as exciting as watching an infomercial. The feature list was lengthy and the gas mileage rivaled the Civic with a far superior warranty. Still, it is missing a fun factor, both in drive and look.

6. 2008 Honda Fit Sport ($17,200): This is a much smaller car than the others, and you can feel it when driving at any highway speed. However, for popping around the city while sipping gas you cant go wrong. Funky styling and a utilitarian interior would put it on the short list if I wasn't going to be spending so much time on the highway.

5. Mini Cooper ($23,500): This car completely broke my price barrier, but I had to give it a whirl. It was fun, but not $23,500 fun. Maybe the S model would be more so, but for another $4K, I am not planning on finding out. The interior is a lot more industrial than I had expected as well, with far less BMW and far more rally car feel. Still, it has a certain flair and I can definitely see the appeal.

4. honda Civic EX coupe ($20,000): Wow, Hondas went and got very expensive since I purchased my 2003 LX for under $13,500. Plus they are now the #1 car in the land. Unfortunately, this makes the dealers awfully smug and reluctant to deal very much on the price. This time I wanted to go up the ladder a bit and get one with more gadgets and the creature comforts I crave. The driving is steady and responsive, if not especially thrilling. The car feels very solid, with a resounding thunk when you shut the doors. The interior looks futuristic compared to most other cars I drove, though the speedometer is a bit disorienting. The dashboard seems to extend for miles (a whole bottle of armor-all and then some) and the stock stereo was by far the best. Still, for this much money I keep thinking more should be standard and they REALLY ought to do something about the tacky-ass velour seats that look like they were upholstered sometime in the 70s for this price point. Tacking on leather will add another grand.

2 (tie). Mazda 3i Touring ($17,800): Very well put together, responsive and still fairly fuel economical. More fun to drive than the Civic and, personally, I think the styling comparable. Lots of options and trims and can get pricey. Interior a lot nicer than you would expect and fits together exceedingly well. Fun Knight-rider lights. Would have liked it a lot more had I not driven my favorite car just before it.

2. Scion TC ($18,400): So many options that I wont bother to list them. The key word for this car is fun......in an economical sort of way. If you took the Honda Civic and the Mazda 3 and made a hybrid of sorts, you might end up about here. A standard moon roof doesn't hurt either. It is peppy and sporty and has a killer audio system. The downside is that it feels sports-car sized inside (don't even consider this if you stand above 6 feet tall). I felt like my head was just about scraping the ceiling. The backseats also feel like planks of wood with some cotton ticking atop it. Still, it was a compelling driving experience and would be genuinely enjoyable on errands or for a fun drive to the coast (if you can afford to drive that far anymore).

1. Volkswagen Rabbit S 4dr ($19,200): I cannot believe that I am typing that I liked a Volkswagen above the other vehicles. I had genuinely expected to want the Civic.......not have it fall to the mid-point of my list. The Rabbit just has a little bit of everything I like and want. Heated seats, mirrors, and spray nozzles - check. Cruise control, lumbar support, and telescoping steering wheel -check. Every safety feature you could imagine - check. Also, MP3 capable 10-speaker stock stereo, 170hp (the most of any of these cars), roomy back seats, hatchback utility, and a fun look that won't be copied by every other driver on the road (ala the Civic). The only drawbacks seem to be the gas mileage (tied with the Scion at just 22/29) and what has until recently been a lackluster repair record (although that seems to be improving with the thumbs up Consumers Report gave it). But, you can't get fun and great gas mileage from my test drives and they do at least offer a standard 4yr/50K warranty.

Next up is the actual purchasing part.......which I haven't gotten to as yet. No hurry really, though I am anxious to have my own car again (even with all the associated expenses). I can't complain since my wonderful mother-in-law (anyone who would willingly fly across the country and help pack, drive, and unpack deserves superlatives), is letting me borrow her new Rogue for running about in the meantime (a fun crossover that compares very favorably with my old Forester, only with less visibility). But, still, there is something about having your own car, and it would at least be one thing to check off the list (now to just figure out the other dozen).

Stay tuned til next time kids, when will find out whether the mystery of my fingerprints will ever be solved by the state of Oregon.