Exhausted

It has been an odd couple of weeks. The kind that slip away into the ether and leave little evidence of their passing than the days advancing on the calendar. January is at its end, and I could not be happier for it because it means one more month closer to open windows, sun, and warmth. I try to avoid thinking about it overmuch, but I have a hard time avoiding it completely.........I hate the winters here. I hate the lack of sun and the constancy of the cold dampness. I enter the winters with a sense of resolve, but it erodes like a sandcastle in an incoming tide by this point. If money were not an issue, I would most certainly have a winter home in the southern climes somewhere, anywhere, with the sun......preferably near an ocean you can swim in. But I digress..........a couple more months is all. The occasional sunbreak will have to suffice for the time being.

Work has been busy and immutable. I grow more and more comfortable with the tasks deligated me, but less enthused about them just the same. I know that is a flaw that I need to work on. I get bored easily and my inclination is always to change. Patience is not a virtue I was evidently imbued with. However, at least at this point I understand that without it, I will be doomed to move no further in my profession (or any for that matter) because you need to build trust through time and effort, not through random chance. So, I chunk my days and look forward to my days off and console myself with the fact that I work with, by and large, exceptional people and a good organization and that is nothing to complain about whatsoever.

I have otherwise been just exhausted in a way that is inexplicable. I have come home the last few evenings from work and nearly been asleep as soon as my shoes were off my feet. Tia has thankfully been understanding. I have also been tormented by allergies that seem to abate only briefly before returning in force. I have tried everything to resolve them short of a bubble, but to no avail. It is hard to determine if the allergy shots are a neutral at this point or are hampering my ability to function appropriately. Bah!

Other than that, I am by and large happy and alive (though a little dispirited at the moment obviously.......not helped by someone evidently using our credit card number to purchase small amounts of petrol. Kudos to Chase fraud protection. They rock!) and just trying to put it all together. In the meantime, send the sun my way if you see it. I would greatly appreciate it :)

PS: Try the beer sampler at Raccon Lodge if you get a chance. Totally worth it!

Allergies and Avatar

So, I was finally swept up into the fervor and saw Avatar and, honestly, it is what I thought it would be based upon the previews, so I was neither wowed, nor overly disappointed. Though, considering the hype alone, I suppose I would lean towards disappointment. The visuals were truly stunning and, much like Coraline, seeing the movie in 2D, would have lowered my regard for the film considerably. Things truly did 'pop' and the depth they were able to achieve was astounding. The colors jumped off the screen and there were breathtaking views galore. However, the story was a direct rip-off of other films. Dances with Wolves comes prominently to mind as does Ferngully. The bad guys were all very 2 dimensional and there were the obligatory overlong action sequences where the #1 bad guy a-hole survives near certain death to fight even more (and of course loses). Overall, I would say this is a movie that lives and dies in 3D, and seeing it without it would be a huge letdown as it is, overall, subpar.

My allergies have been absolutely unbearable the last few days. Not sure what it is, or why, but they are as bad as they have been in some time. Evidently there are many others that share in the misery, so it is likely coming from without instead of within the home. As I type this my left eye is only now losing some of its blood red hue and is no longer bleary, but only after a heavy dose of antihistamines which generally leave me feeling quite spacy and drug out. Though, given the alternative, I suppose I will take the feeling over the effects of the allergies. Yuck!

Little else of note has transpired since my last post. Work continues as always and I continue to vacillate on my desire to find something else (well, I should admit that, should I find something else that interests me and I am qualified for, I would leave in a heartbeat, so vacillate is probably the wrong word) and I continue to strive to find a good balance. Speaking of balance, my head is definitely not at the moment, so I think I will leave this short.

Resolutions?

Resolutions require, well, resolve, which I have in short supply. So, in the interest of the integrity of my blog, I think it might be more accurate to call them wishes. As in, wishes rarely come true, but maybe. Or prayers perhaps, though that seems rather mystical for my secular self. Even aspirations seem lofty as it will leave me deflated when I do not reach them. So, we will stick with wishes I think...........at least until I can find a better term. Long shots maybe?

#1 - Eat less(better)/exercise more - Ah, the dreaded resolution that most, if not all, of us share. I have spent the past year going back and forth with stomach issues that seem to be, finally, resolved after my troublesome gall bladder was evicted. This has led to some minor issues, though significantly less arduous than my GB caused me.......mainly being able to eat whatever I want without much if any bodily retribution. This can pose some unhappy results to someone who unabashedly loves to eat, namely a tightening of clothing heretofore quite reasonably fitted. The surgery also caused my exercise regimen to grind to a screeching halt (though it is my fault for not trying to put the wheels in motion again after sufficient recovery). So, the wish is obvious........lets see if it works.

#2 - Be more positive about work - Having finally had my meeting with the highest up of the higher ups within my department (moderated by HR), I left feeling positive about the possibilities that lie ahead, emboldened to speak up more, and also a bit like there was still much unfinished. So, with hope, things will continue at an upward angle and improve. It is my hope. The job is a good one, my coworkers are stellar, and the hours/pay/benefits are very good. So, another wish.

I could go on, but I think 2 disappointing failures ought to do it for this year :) I hope everyone had a great holiday season (I spent my NY snowshoeing for the first time and absolutely loved it! Who would have ever thought this Florida boy would ever wish to be enshrouded in heavy layers tromping about in powdery ice crystals?) and I wish you the best on your own resolutions/wishes/prayers for the new year.