Addition by subtraction (ode to a gall bladder)

The votes have been tallied and the results are in...........I don't have eosinophilic esophagitis. But, before I hire a clown and a pony, I am not in the clear as yet. The doctor suggested that I do have a teensy problem: gallstones. I am to consult with a surgeon to discuss my options, with the most likely event occurring being the removal of my gall bladder. Fortunately, the gall bladder is considered non-essential (kind of like paparazzi, the Golf channel, and Paris Hilton) and the surgery is pretty routine. I actually watched one during a surgical rotation which seemed relatively benign. With some Versed, I doubt I will even much care.

The odd thing is that the typical risk factors are not remotely related to me even in a second cousins twice removed sort of way. they include the following:

• women—especially women who are pregnant, use hormone replacement therapy, or take birth control pills - Still stand when I pee, so this is out
  
• people over age 60 - not unless we are counting in months
  
• American Indians - I am the WHITEST person I know
  
• Mexican Americans - see above
  
• overweight or obese men and women - I'll admit to a daliance above the recommended BMI, but I wasn't the headless body you see on stock news footage about the overweight
  
• people who fast or lose a lot of weight quickly - not until after I had problems
  
• people with a family history of gallstones - gotta get out the family medical tree to check that
  
• people with diabetes - not so much
  
• people who take cholesterol-lowering drugs - again, not me
  

So, I have anywhere from 0 to 0.2 risk factors and yet am afflicted. I am a medical marvel that way. Of course, I know that risk factors are just that, factors. They only mean that it is more likely to occur with these conditions present. At least there is a direction to move towards. In the meantime, I will post more when I know more.

I had a job interview yesterday. Kind of spur of the moment. Dropped off the application Thursday afternoon and had an interview on Friday afternoon. Wouldn't it be nice if it always happened that way? Hell, even Blockbuster video usually takes a few weeks. I didn't get the job........but I also didn't not get the job. I am assuming they are interested since they asked for my references. Akin to asking for a second date. Why bother unless you wanted to see the person again? It is a general medical/surgical position at Willamette Falls hospital in Oregon City. Would be nights and 8-hour shifts (think 11p-7a). As always, more info here when I learn more.

A bird in the hand

I was waiting to post my next blog hoping to have a diagnosis and, very hopefully.......almost deliriously so, to be starting treatment of some kind that I could report. Of course, medicine doesn't often work like it does on TV, and mostly waiting is all you do. In the meantime, I have stopped my dramatic weight loss and am leveling out thanks to the magic of Zofran. Had you asked me if I EVER thought I would see 165lbs a month ago, I would have said only when the dial on the scale is flying past it. Now I am just hoping to stay somewhat entrenched there.

My job situation is still murky. I have ZERO idea what to do. I have the proverbial bird in the hand situation. I have a job that I am none too thrilled with. Bad location, long commute, and the ham-handed way in which the hospital appears to be run. However, I have debts and expenses that I am obligated to deal with. On the other hand, there are a lot of jobs out there.......as soon as I get my license that is. Some that seem like far better options than Salem.........some that, to me, are far less appealing. None are guarantees of course (though the paperwork hasn't been signed at Salem either, so that could be little more than conceptual as well). So, I could give up a somewhat certainty for the prospect of the job hunt, or I could accept my current circumstances and continue to seek while employed. Of course, neither will matter unless I pass the NCLEX. But I would rather not stress about that awful elephant in the room at the moment. What to do? What to do?

The only other mildly interesting event has been a move into YET another apartment. I genuinely feel too old for the suburban apartment at this point. The idea of renting something in a location that affords you easy access to public transit, walking distance to local pubs and restaurants, and a certain cache is still appealing, but this place has none of that. Of course, what it does have is space, relatively reasonable cost, ample covered parking, community events and a short-term lease. It will be easier to look once I have my job situation settled. In the meantime, I have definitely lived in a lot less pleasant apartments than this one. Having a washing machine is also a spectacular bonus.

Congrats to all my classmates that have passed the NCLEX already. It can be done. I hope to join your ranks soon.

Its a Boy!

No, I am not having a baby........but I did have an ultra-sound today. Very interesting. At least the goo used to smoothly maneuver the wand around was warmed and the woman didn't press down on my stomach too firmly (it is a sore point.......literally a sore point, and all the doctors seem required by some sadistic medical code to press firmly down repeatedly like they are kneading dough). Friday is my endoscopy. At least that comes with a side of anesthesia.

As a continuing auxiliary storyline, my weight continues to plummet. Though no hip urban youth am I, I am now required to walk around hiking up my jeans periodically lest they tumble off of me. Why not just use a belt you might ask? Still packed away. Sweat pants are on the agenda. Also on the agenda, a mounting list of places that I intend to gorge myself at once my stomach stops offering resistance to every single morsel that passes my lips. Goodbye baby food, hello BBQ!

Loving my new car. So much fun to drive. Highly recommend the Rabbit thus far (long term is questionable). Lots of fun extras and spectacular get-up-and-go. Kick ass!

A night in the ER

I love to do research. I think I made that abundantly clear when looking up cars. To further the thought, I figured I would take my research one more step along the chain and be admitted to the ER so I could 'research' what it was like to be a patient. Also, I was severely dehydrated and in a considerable amount of abdominal pain.

Thankfully, I did not have to spend the night in the ER (even though they have a fairly broad selection of cable channels). I was released into my wife and mother-in-laws care after about 500ml of fluid, some morphine for the pain, and some Phenergan for nausea. Blood tests remain inconclusive. In the meantime, I was told to try different pills for GERD and combine that with lots of fluids (so many flavors of sports drinks to choose from.......this morning I am imbibing something called Arctic Shatter. The name implies it should taste like something arctic ala penguins or whatever else is artic in nature but in reality just tastes like lemonade. It was clearly named after one of GW's failed attempts to drill for crude oil on the Arctic shelf). I am also allowed to finally eat..........with the only caveat being that i am allowed to eat baby food. It isnt as bad as I had feared, but feels ridiculous. Life has a way of making you giggle despite the circumstances.

In better news, I finally found a car. I hope, unlike my computer, it is not a lemon. I ended up with an 07 Rabbit. It is fun t drive and fairly practical, though it has a lot of bells and whistles from the prior owner (17" alloy tires, an Ipod adapter, Electronic Stability Control, a sunroof, and fun Rabbit specific mats). I am bummed that it only comes in black, but I didnt have much choice in that regard even with a new car. I hope all turns out well with it.

Off to lunch. Pureed carrots perhaps?

12lbs

This represents the amount of weight I have lost in the past few weeks. I managed, through GERD, to do something I couldn't do with exercise and diet......see the southern side of 170lbs. Hello healthy BMI!

This miracle diet is not for sale on the internet or via a 1-800 number on some late night infomercial. I will, free of charge, share my diet secrets with you! (plus $19.95 shipping and handling which is fully refundable when hell freezes over).

Its a simple 4 step process:

1. Eat
2. Feel indescribable discomfort and pain
3. Expel all food
4. Lose all interest in eating

Its just that simple. No counting points. No fad diets that won't work later. Results are 100% guaranteed.

Please eat something for me...........anything at all.

The car report

I love love LOVE reading reviews before I buy anything of any real value. It is almost an incessant need. I have to compare, and re-compare until I feel like I get the best deal for the best product (or at least the best product deal notwithstanding). The same goes for cars, except a car purchase has a lot to do with feel and personal style as well (I have never purchased a toaster or a DVD player based on that). With that said, as much as I loathe dealing with car salesman as a whole (and that is not a blanket statement..........here in Portland I have found 3 dealerships that I would not hesitate to recommend to anyone: Wentworth Subaru, Wilsonville Toyota, and, so-far, Herzog-Meier Volkswagen/Mazda), I genuinely enjoy test driving the cars. As much as you can possibly read about a car or look at pictures online, nothing replaces the experience of sitting behind the wheel, fiddling with all the knobs, opening all the compartments, cranking up the stereo, and taking it out for a test drive.

I thought it would be kind of fun to rank the cars I have test driven. Let me say first off that there are lots of professional review sites around and I would be the first to warn anyone from taking my opinions as though their author held a modicum of automotive expertise. I don't know a camshaft from valve train and I have no idea what torque has to do with the driving experience, but I know what I like.

I had a few criteria when looking:
1. It could not cost more than $20K. I know this seems like an arbitrary number, and thats because it absolutely is. It is just the line in the sand that I cannot make myself cross.

2. It could not cost less than $17K. Also a completely arbitrary number, but it seems a very clear dividing line within this affordable class of cars. According to most sites there are about two dozen cars under $20K, but most under $17K dont have the creature comforts that I want in a car.

3. I crossed out any car that did not receive at least marginal reviews (sorry Chevy Aveo, Cobalt, and Saturns).

Without further ado:

8. 2009 Toyota Corolla LE ($17,500): There is not much to say about this car other than it is like Vanilla ice cream or plain cheese pizza (can you tell I am hungry): it gets the job done, but there are far more appealing options. The steering was vague the driving experience solid if utterly ordinary. The interior was cheap in look and feel. The only upside was the refreshed exterior styling (which was nothing extraordinary, but seemed so in comparison to the interior) and the stellar gas mileage.

7. 2008 Hyundai Elantra SE ($17,300): The Elantra aims at the Corolla according to reviews and, according to me, they should aim higher. I rank this only slightly ahead numerically, but in reality it was far superior. The interior was pleasant if not overwhelming. The exterior was about as exciting as watching an infomercial. The feature list was lengthy and the gas mileage rivaled the Civic with a far superior warranty. Still, it is missing a fun factor, both in drive and look.

6. 2008 Honda Fit Sport ($17,200): This is a much smaller car than the others, and you can feel it when driving at any highway speed. However, for popping around the city while sipping gas you cant go wrong. Funky styling and a utilitarian interior would put it on the short list if I wasn't going to be spending so much time on the highway.

5. Mini Cooper ($23,500): This car completely broke my price barrier, but I had to give it a whirl. It was fun, but not $23,500 fun. Maybe the S model would be more so, but for another $4K, I am not planning on finding out. The interior is a lot more industrial than I had expected as well, with far less BMW and far more rally car feel. Still, it has a certain flair and I can definitely see the appeal.

4. honda Civic EX coupe ($20,000): Wow, Hondas went and got very expensive since I purchased my 2003 LX for under $13,500. Plus they are now the #1 car in the land. Unfortunately, this makes the dealers awfully smug and reluctant to deal very much on the price. This time I wanted to go up the ladder a bit and get one with more gadgets and the creature comforts I crave. The driving is steady and responsive, if not especially thrilling. The car feels very solid, with a resounding thunk when you shut the doors. The interior looks futuristic compared to most other cars I drove, though the speedometer is a bit disorienting. The dashboard seems to extend for miles (a whole bottle of armor-all and then some) and the stock stereo was by far the best. Still, for this much money I keep thinking more should be standard and they REALLY ought to do something about the tacky-ass velour seats that look like they were upholstered sometime in the 70s for this price point. Tacking on leather will add another grand.

2 (tie). Mazda 3i Touring ($17,800): Very well put together, responsive and still fairly fuel economical. More fun to drive than the Civic and, personally, I think the styling comparable. Lots of options and trims and can get pricey. Interior a lot nicer than you would expect and fits together exceedingly well. Fun Knight-rider lights. Would have liked it a lot more had I not driven my favorite car just before it.

2. Scion TC ($18,400): So many options that I wont bother to list them. The key word for this car is fun......in an economical sort of way. If you took the Honda Civic and the Mazda 3 and made a hybrid of sorts, you might end up about here. A standard moon roof doesn't hurt either. It is peppy and sporty and has a killer audio system. The downside is that it feels sports-car sized inside (don't even consider this if you stand above 6 feet tall). I felt like my head was just about scraping the ceiling. The backseats also feel like planks of wood with some cotton ticking atop it. Still, it was a compelling driving experience and would be genuinely enjoyable on errands or for a fun drive to the coast (if you can afford to drive that far anymore).

1. Volkswagen Rabbit S 4dr ($19,200): I cannot believe that I am typing that I liked a Volkswagen above the other vehicles. I had genuinely expected to want the Civic.......not have it fall to the mid-point of my list. The Rabbit just has a little bit of everything I like and want. Heated seats, mirrors, and spray nozzles - check. Cruise control, lumbar support, and telescoping steering wheel -check. Every safety feature you could imagine - check. Also, MP3 capable 10-speaker stock stereo, 170hp (the most of any of these cars), roomy back seats, hatchback utility, and a fun look that won't be copied by every other driver on the road (ala the Civic). The only drawbacks seem to be the gas mileage (tied with the Scion at just 22/29) and what has until recently been a lackluster repair record (although that seems to be improving with the thumbs up Consumers Report gave it). But, you can't get fun and great gas mileage from my test drives and they do at least offer a standard 4yr/50K warranty.

Next up is the actual purchasing part.......which I haven't gotten to as yet. No hurry really, though I am anxious to have my own car again (even with all the associated expenses). I can't complain since my wonderful mother-in-law (anyone who would willingly fly across the country and help pack, drive, and unpack deserves superlatives), is letting me borrow her new Rogue for running about in the meantime (a fun crossover that compares very favorably with my old Forester, only with less visibility). But, still, there is something about having your own car, and it would at least be one thing to check off the list (now to just figure out the other dozen).

Stay tuned til next time kids, when will find out whether the mystery of my fingerprints will ever be solved by the state of Oregon.

New cars, GERD, & condos

Things are working out well in some areas and horrifically in others since Tia and I returned to the Pacific NW. My stomach continues to be problematic. I am eating less than Amy Winehouse and regretting every morsel. I have started the rather colorful regimen of purple pills and pink bismuth, but the only tangible result so far has been more time spent in the bathroom than a coke addict. On the upside, bathing suit season is just around the corner and what better way is there to get in Speedo shape?

The condo deal fell through. Despite having had a sum total of ZERO offers on it since it was listed in January, the owners weren't willing to capitulate any potential profits. It is for the good probably since it wasn't a long term fix anyway and, with the market as it stands, we could have lost out somewhat on the deal unless we were willing to hang onto it. Still, it was a bummer because it was very nicely appointed and in a nice location. On to the next.

I have been looking at cars lately. It hurts almost worse than my GERD to have to deal with the likes of most car salespeople. They love to talk about anything but numbers and, when they do, they pretend like you are the only one they are offering this special deal of $500 below MSRP. Unless you are buying a rare or highly coveted car (or in some cases, a no haggle vehicle like a Scion) than there is NO reason to pay anything near MSRP. Additionally, they always want to charge you the delivery fee (in most cases $600+ dollars) which I think is ludicrous. Either build it into the price of the product or eat it entirely. There is NO reason I should pay for you to have something on the lot for me to buy. I don't get charged an extra fee at the grocery store for a can of corn on top of the price. Ultimately, I hate the games. At Hyundai, they tried to show me every other car on the lot except the one I came to see (which they didn't have in stock). Including every used car from a Mitsubishi Lancer to a BMW 3 series and then make up information about each one. I honestly felt slimy from the interaction.

Even the internet fails to be a good place to get legitimate information. The sites that promise you instant quotes from multiple dealers leads only to them calling you to have you come in to see the car in question without any discussion of price. How this is an effective means for selling a car is beyond me.

Time to go eat another slice of plain toast while fantasizing about BBQ or sushi.

Proof I am getting old (example #247)

I went to the doctor today because I have been having the textbook tell-tale signs and symptoms of acid reflux. I walked out with two paper lunch sacks full of medication samples. I think the next stop for me is a pair of magnifying reading glasses, stealing sugar packets from restaurants, and complaining about the way things are now vs. how they used to be (damn! I already do that). Its a slippery slope. Oh well, I will trade in two sacks of meds to be able to eat something other than bread and bananas.

Back to NCLEX.

My first place..........er, maybe

Put in an offer on my potential first place. of course, many steps (and possible missteps) lie in the way yet. More news by tomorrow at 5 when we will hear back from the seller. In the meantime, if you are curious: http://www.rmls.com/RC2/UI/Home.asp Put in #8043082

A jumbled life

There has been little calm of late and likely little calm on the horizon. In the past month, I graduated (again), got married, went on a honeymoon, and moved across the country (my third such cross-country jaunt in the past 3 years. Kids, don't try this at home). In fact, wherever we end up in Portland, or around it, will be my 9th address since 2004. Maybe I am in the witness protection program and no one told me.

Now all that needs to be done in the next month to six weeks is pass my NCLEX (which will be easier once I get a test site and time), move my belongings into a storage unit from their home in a 5'x10' trailer (and shortly thereafter move them out of said storage unit and back into another trailer), find a permanent place to live and find a car. Oh yeah, and then that whole new career thing starts. It hard to type with shivers racing up your spine.

In the meantime.......

It is good to be back in the Pacific Northwest. It is also extremely odd. I am not a native here and don't know if I will ever fully acclimate, but it feels like an entirely different country after living in Rochester for the past dozen months. It still feels like I am out here visiting and not really transplanting my life here. Today Tia and I went to a coffee shop to study. I was served by a young blonde woman with dreadlocks and piercings, we sat near a 50ish woman with a gold tooth who sold organic foods for a small grocery chain, and interacted with a number of other people that in Rochester would be gawked at. Here, that is just run of the mill. Oh, and as an aside, they were all extremely pleasant (with the gold-toothed woman offering to share the tea pot she ordered). That is typical here in the NW. In Florida and Rochester, not so much.
Now if they could just do something about the weather.

The trip across was largely uneventful. Pulling the trailer really hampered progress. Try driving 2800+ miles at 60mph through states like South Dakota and see how long it is before you go insane. Thanks to Tia's mom coming to share the drive (and do a bulk of it honestly) it wasn't that bad and we managed to get to our destination right on time. I don't think Tia and I could have managed to do the same on our own. As it was, we would leave most places around 8:30am and not stop for good until after 11pm.

Off to unpack the trailer. I hope to be in contact with all my Portland peeps in the near future as soon as the dust settles.