Q: When is $15K not $15K? A: When school cost $60K.

I never thought a $15K scholarship would be a mixed blessing. I thought I would find it to be overwhelmingly satisfactory actually. It most situations it would be spectacular. I can scarcely imagine any other situation in my life where walking into $15K would not be so overwhelmingly significant that i wouldnt tell that story into perpetuity while, of course, exagerrating my physique and acts of bravery which led to acquiring such a sum. My finances are such that finding a $10 bill in a jacket pocket qualifies as a good day regardless of other events.

It certainly isnt insignificant, and I would (and may) sound jaded by inferring that it is, but it pales in comparison to the cost of school. What it means is about 25%. That is the wonderful news! I would be pleased were my car or student loans 25% paid off. It also means that 75% is still in doubt, awaiting word on who will loan it to me. That is far from wonderful. Its a mixed blessing because had it been more (say 30K) I would have not thought twice about diving into the remaining debt as ludicrous as as taking out 30K sounds. Had it been 5K, I would have had to find another path to school. Reminds me of every raise I have ever received at any job I have had, it is never enough to truly make you feel appreciated or happy, but never so little as you dont accept it. Plus, I cannot shake the notion that the scholarships are just there to make the total cost appear more palatable while maintaining the veneer that you are going to a more expensive school. Much like you wouldn't find Target prices at Macy's...but you might find Macy's stuff on sale for Target prices. There is something about finding that $50 shirt on sale for 50% off vs just going out and buying a $25 shirt. Though, in the end, they both cost the identical amount.

I also just found out that two other students did not get the general academic scholarship that I got, but did get the Fuld scholarship, one person for 15K, the other for 20K. Reinforcing my belief that everyone gets something, because it makes it more palatable. I find this news both unsettling, because I did not get the Fuld but am placated by the fact that whether I got it or not, it would ultimately not mean a great difference to my bottom line. Evidently there are no double coupons and Fuld or no Fuld, we will all be neck deep in debt.