Wednesday, September 19, 2007

sofa king crazy

Be careful what you wish for. Today there was definitely some excitement on the floor. Unfortunately, it wasn't like finding a $20 bill in your jacket pocket exciting. It was more like, "is that a bee in my car?" exciting.

To being the story, I should state that I had only slept 4 hours last night. I have no explanations as to why my body inexplicably determined that 2am was an appropriate bedtime, but it did. So, as I ambled into the rotation today, I will in a less than stupendous mood. We went through the usual morning progression of meetings and then things got weird. The new patient, a young muslim male in his early 20s, appeared outside of our conference room. The conference room in question is behind the nurses station and, oddly, located next to one of the quiet rooms that patients use when too much stimulus exists for them to maintain functionality. Odder still, the rooms are separated by windows that lack any mechanism to shield the persons in one room for those in the other. The patient was evidently sent to the quiet room to chill out, but that isnt what he did.

What he did do was begin to yell invectives and hop about like his ass was aflame. He also began to tap maniacally on the glass. He then spotted a classmate of mine which he believed he knew and then began to direct his vitriol towards her directly. Exclamations about where he would stick his "hairy muslim dick" (with a creative use of adjectives) leapt from his tongue with the alacrity of lies from the lips of Alberto Gonzalez. This scared my classmate to no end and awoke in me the big brother protective instinct. While we were instructed to keep our eyes averted from his antics and ignore his entreaties, I could not help but want to leave the room, wrench his scrawny arm behind his back and drag him into the room to offer formal apologies. But we arent allowed to so much as speak to him at risk of our academics, so we gathered our things and relocated. He followed to our new room and we eventually spent the remainder of our day on an outdoor patio without much interaction at all with our patients.

Why we should be put in such an awkward position is the first big question. The second might be why nothing was done to remove this patient from the floor. A litany of others might follow. But, despite any of these things we will be back there tomorrow. I hope we arent asked to endure the day again.

On a sidebar, another patient on the floor apparently came out of his room, penis hanging loosely from the front of his boxer shorts covered in what the social worker described as 'semen' telling that same social worker to come over and 'suck his dick' the evening prior. Maybe psych isnt quite the place for me......or anyone for that matter.

3 comments:

GoodNubbin said...

Baw haw haw haw haw haw. That is gold man. Glad you had some time to update.

LOL!

~J

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