Friday, October 22, 2010

"leave me the fuck alone"

When I was walking to work today, I came across a vagrant as I frequently do (Portland is rife with them) and, without provocation she muttered aloud 'leave me the fuck alone.' I have to say, I wasn't even taken aback (crazy people say crazy things), but I did think it relatively apropos. Tia says I have been crabby lately.........but I think my feelings of late can best be summed up by the 5 words the crazy lady spewed forth this morning.

I realize more and more that, while I feel I am doing a good job, I just don't like my actual job. I have been trying to keep more positive about it. I only offer 'advice' so I try not to stress about it when I don't have an answer. However, the sheer unadulterated neediness gets to you after awhile. Call after call after call. Especially on days like today where they flood in like water from a ruptured dam. The only thing I enjoy are the people I work with..........and some days I interact with them so little, I might as well be cloistered off in a closet somewhere. So, I continue to try to find alternatives........and may need to expand that search. I don't like feeling this way and it bleeds to far into other areas of my life (much to Tia's chagrin I am sure). Unfortunately little else in life affords me any real relief from the anxiety I have at the start of each and every day........not because I am concerned about the mystery of what lies ahead, but rather because I know EXACTLY what lies ahead.

I need to eat.........and then go back again. only half a day left before 2 days off.........which I will spend looking for something else to do with my weekday time.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I finished the Hunger games series! Good recommendation! Just started the Golden Compass. Should be interesting. Pizza with the girlz soon!

~J

Unknown said...

I think the plan is for burgers and has alreayd been arranged Josh. I think you will like the Golden Compass. Big ideas. Not nearly as dark or torridly paced as the Games though.

yanmaneee said...

fila shoes
hermes online
stephen curry shoes
michael kors outlet online
air max
jordan shoes
golden goose outlet
curry 6 shoes
yeezy boost 350
nike air max 270

Unknown said...

replica bags in china replica bags review replica bags qatar