Pendulum

Life is pendulous.  If you are lucky, it isn’t swinging like a metronome at 4 beats per and you get to spend more time in the calm center and not the furthest swings.  However, sometimes self induced and sometimes external, there are times when you spend a little too much time out on the periphery.  Great when you are on a high, less so when you are not.  Lately, I have not been. 

There are myriad reasons why this is so, and nary a one of them is cataclysmic.  I realize that I am very fortunate to have a job I can tolerate and sometimes even like, a loving wife, and a good relationship with friends and family.  It is the constant uncertainty that is undermining my general sense of wellbeing.  The damndest part of that is that there really is no end in sight. 

There is still no timeline on when they are going to post out for my current position and, therefore, no timeline on when they might post out for the position at the Park.  This is due in large part to there being no timeline for hiring a Director and, therefore, no timeline for that person to then hire a manager.  What there is a timeline for however, is the baby.  Whether or not they figure out any of the above, the baby is coming, and I am dead certain he isn’t interested in the politics at my job nor the difficulty in finding childcare that is willing to work around the notion that we will need 3 days a week, we just aren’t exactly sure what three days those will be (and evidently it isn’t illuminating to say ‘not Saturday and Sunday’). 

Of course, clarifying one issue might lead to a bevy of other ones.  Should I find myself down at the Park in due time, there is the question of having a vehicle.  While my in-laws have been nothing if not wonderful about providing us their little used second car, it is not something that Tia or I feel comfortable putting a baby seat into.  Plus there is the fact that it takes premium fuel and gets no better than 13 miles to the gallon on average.  Still, it would take a lot of fill ups to equal another ride and, until we get settled into some more permanent work situations, it is an amazing luxury to have for the time being.    

The only other issue going on at the moment (for me anyway) is my damned allergies.  I am now on enough medications that I can easily breathe out of my nose a majority of the time, but it is also enough that I feel perpetually exhausted and wrung out.  I am not sleeping so much as passing out evidently and am not sure what to do to fix it.  Plus, with the addition of the steroids, I have the added benefit of sweating like I just crossed the finish line at a 5K every time I move overmuch.  I am going to have to start wearing headbands like Lebron so I don’t drip on anyone if this keeps up.  But, again, I can breathe.  So, there is that. 

The upshot is that, eventually, it looks like I will get my wish to cut to part time; just the when and the where need to be figured.  And, eventually, we will get child care figured out, though again it might not put us in an ideal situation from the jump like we would prefer.  And, one would assume that eventually the allergies will have to recede back like the tide and I can go back to just a few antihistamines (a few daily anyway) and find some kind of stasis until the shots finally (hopefully) take effect. 

Until all of that happens though………ugh.  Wake me when its over.