Today I did my first official yard work on my own home (well, 359 more payments and it is mine anyway). It was actually rather........er, gratifying. Kind of like the first time you wash your first car. It helps to feel that way sometimes when the rest of the time it feels like your paychecks are built over a house shaped drain and you have anxiety attacks paying the mortgage. But other than that, things are progressing well.
Its weird how responsibility sneaks up on you. All the sudden I have a house payment, student loans, and a car payment and my job is no longer a means to an end but instead something that I actually help define myself by and aspire to evolve within. Even relationships change and become partnerships as much about enjoying each others company as dealing with the trials and tribulations that life brings. I try not to be too frequently introspective about it all though (see above: anxiety attacks).
Work continues to be an enigma. I spent the weekend on my own with the sky high stress levels that incurs (being the so-called last line on anything will breed that). I was asked this weekend to put in a central line on my own. I, of course, balked. I don't even know how to put on my surgical gown without losing sterility on my own because ALL my training has been performed with another person in the room. All of the lines are put in, except in cases where no one else is available, with a second person. Thankfully with enough shuffling, cajoling, and other feats of persuasion, I was able to push off the line until afternoon help arrived. Sadly, the line was a failure anyway. They seem to fail as often as they succeed based upon my observations.
Well, I was stabbed with my allergy shots today.......so I am going to shuffle off to a likely snorefest (my allergies are awful the day of the shots). Hopefully Tia falls asleep first.
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